 As my brother and I were talking about what motivates people, he said “it’s simple right, some people get their energy from doing things that would make others feel drained.” Right. It’s one of the basics of the way we are each wired.
In theory, as we all derive our energy from different things, you’d think there would be no opportunity for us to get bored or resentful or depressed in the world by things that we do, instead there are endless opportunities to fill our cups. So why are so many of us doing things that deplete rather than refuel our energy? As I’ve cited many times before, the number one regret of the dying is all the time they wasted in life trying to please others. With my mum’s death recently it’s reaffirmed my commitment to spend time doing the things that matter to me, and trust that any gaps I leave will be ably filled by others who love what I hate. When I left the corporate world a few years ago, I remember vowing to myself that I was done dancing to the beat of another’s drum. No more mind-numbing meetings, having to cross and uncross my legs, or waggle my foot around just to stay awake. No more politically correct conversations or being nice to people who were just downright nasty. That was the idea. Like many of you, there are things that I do that are not high on my list. I try and be mindful though about not making compromises and making myself miserable when I have a choice. For example, for those of you who have read my musings over the years, you’ll know a perennial issue for me is our annual School Fair. When we joined the school, I eyed the sentence (on the commitment form we had to sign) about supporting fundraising activities with suspicion. When I queried it, I was told “oh it’s nothing to worry about. The only thing you really need to do is to help with the School Fair each year, each family has to do 4 hours on the stalls and bake cakes etc”. Mmm. Big understatement that was. The Fair, it turns out, is a big community event attracting thousands of visitors. It’s not just a few bake stalls. There are lots of good old fashioned fun activities like candle dipping, a coconut shy, a flying fox, a ‘stack-a-crate’ climbing challenge and other interesting games like the lemonade bike. Then there’s the centre stage entertainment, the crafts (it’s the parents who make all the crafts to sell and there are rather onerous specifications and quantities), the food stalls, the rubbish and zero-waste management, the car parking, on and on. Don’t get me wrong, there’s lots to love about the school my kids attend. Most importantly, it’s packed with staff who really give a lot to the roles they are performing. The head teacher is passion personified when it comes to the children and the education they are providing. But I’m under no illusions; the Fair is a big project. I have enough experience of projects under my belt in the corporate realm to know the size of this job. For me, just the thought of it drains my cup so fast you’d think it was a sieve with 5cm holes in it. Equally, I know there are others who thrive doing this kind of thing. Now I have no real idea why the Fair has come to be run the way it has but, however it has come about, it’s become practice for Class 2 parents to organize the whole thing – and guess which class my daughter is in this year? It may be that the Fair was initially the brainchild of a dedicated group of parents, or at some point it all got too much for staff worn out by the myriad of other activities throughout the year. Regardless, at some point since the inception of the Fair, someone decided it would be a good idea to have Class 2 parents organize it all. So do I have to buy into this? The school has never been explicit about this onerous task, yet here it is. Should I ’suck it up’ because others have? Or should I expect to contribute because it’s a worthy cause? Whatever the reason, trying to push a boulder uphill is never a great idea. For my part, organizing the Fair is simply too much to ask; it’s too draining, taking too much mental, emotional and physical energy away from my focus on parenting especially, never mind the other hats I wear. What I do know is that I have no specific obligation to take part in this project, other than perhaps peer pressure created, in the main, from others’ perceptions that they have no choice. Yet the parents do have a choice, as does the school. It’s perhaps better to cast the net wider and, rather than expecting a set of 26 parents in one class to take on 25 different and sizeable project roles, allow those in the wider community - who might actually feel like they want to (and have the capacity to) take on these roles - to come forward. We are all motivated by different things, so you’d think there would be no shortage of willing volunteers for everything that takes place in our world. And there is, there are those that love this type of stuff, so why – as in so many walks of life – are people trying to decree how things happen and perpetuate it just because it’s become the norm? There was an article I wrote last year, called Win-Win-Win Giving, talking about how giving is something that should be about ease and joy, not sacrifice and duty. The win-win-win stuff, when you inspire or empower someone doing something you love, and get the warm fuzzies from having helped. At what point do we say ‘enough is enough’ if it’s how we feel? How many examples are there like this in your own life, where you are dancing to the beat of another’s drum? Where you are trying to be superman or superwoman, instead of realizing that less is more? Yes we may face peer pressure, and perhaps pressure from other quarters, but really, the most pressure we put on ourselves comes from within. Our own desire to look good, to fit in, to have others think well of us. Instead of being a martyr to something where we’d rather be poking our eyes out with a pin, we need to learn to step aside; there are others who would get a lot out of taking up the mantle. And if there isn’t, one would have to question the need for the task anyway. It’s not that I want to see our School Fair fail, I want to see it thrive. Rather than walk around with an all too visible “I survived the Fair” attitude for the rest of our children’s primary and intermediate school years, I know the best way forward is to let those who want to take up the reins and lead the way with energy and enthusiasm go for it. Sometimes the best thing we can do is simply to get out of their way. We have been born with unique desires, talents and traits that can serve this world in so many ways. Instead of trying to be a square peg in a round hole just because we think the world needs us to be, how about we each take that square peg and inspire the heck out of others by finding the best 4 corners to fit it in? I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others if they inspire, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.
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 Having spent two days this week in Hong Kong’s Disneyland, what really struck me was the way in which people were all using their devices. There we were sitting on Cinderella’s Carousel in Fantasyland, going around and around, up and down, and pretty much every adult was holding out a device trying to capture the moment. Really?
It reminded me of a futuristic drama I saw on TV a few years ago of an extreme version of everyone living through their devices, one that didn’t paint a hopeful picture for the human race. But is it actually a bad thing, I wonder? I have explored this idea of changing social norms before, in so far as technology is assisting. There was an idea in there that the present and the future are born of our past desires. But it’s more accurate to say, I think, something I heard a few years ago “wherever we give our attention to will be our greatest contribution in life.” Certainly your desires can create your reality, if that is where your attention is. But if your attention is on the lack in your life of what you want, that too creates more of the same in your reality. That leads me to wonder where the collective attention has been previously focused in order to have created a reality where we have become fairly obsessed with objectifying each moment of our life? And is that even the right way to look at it? Well, as I was holding up my own device on the carousel, I really took stock of that moment. I wanted to get a picture of my daughter, as I do often, to send to her grandparents. Others I know share photos and videos on other social media platforms. The point is that there is a lot of attempting to capture the moment, and is it happening at the expense of fully giving our attention to the moment? From my vantage point, I know if I’m taking a picture - and it doesn’t stop there, there is the editing and sharing process – I’m distracted. Distracted from actually being on the carousel and taking in my daughter’s experience, even just listening to her and answering questions. That doesn’t even count the whole process of ‘notifications’ if the picture is shared more widely. I also take an abundance of pictures in the hope of capturing just one or two of those gorgeous moments of delight spread across the faces of my kids. Or as a record to “help them remember the moment. In reality though, it ends up in thousands of digital records I never really look through, and creates a disruption to them actually really ingesting their own moments which allows them to etch it in their hearts forever. And what is her experience in all of this? She is there trying to enjoy the moment and I’m constantly trying to call upon her to “smile for the camera”. There was a ride called something like The Star Wars Experience, it amounted to having your photo taken with (in our case) R2D2. There was no experience, no moment to actually admire this fully recreated robot and interact with it in any way, simply “smile for the camera”. The same was true when we met Mickey et al, although in those instances we happened to be dining and my device wasn’t handy so my eldest daughter got to interact with them, which was much more fun for her. So we have this strange situation going on where, at any given time if you look around, you are likely to see people with their attention immersed in their device rather than in their present surroundings. I’m not sure how different that is to life before devices, as the expression “wake up and smell the roses” alludes to, we have been guilty of living in our heads rather than in the moment for much longer than devices have been around. Our heads are where are generally ruminating about the past or planning the future. Maybe our devices are just a more physical signal to the rest of the world that “no one is home” than previously? Not that either is desirable really. Even as a child I remember walking to the local shops and seeing how many people I could get to look at me and say “morning” or afternoon and that was in Scotland in the 1970’s. People tend to be cocooned in their own little world. There are more questions than answers here, but what I do know is that it just doesn’t feel right. I want to live in a world where people look each other in the eyes and smile, they connect. I want people to feel connected not just to their own life, but to others around them as well. Not in a way that we can point to the number of contacts on any given platform, or ‘likes’ of a post, but in a way that truly fills our cup. The kind of world where we can walk down the street and openly greet our neighbours and strangers and actually see each other, and be seen. Perhaps we have created this very visible situation to help really highlight how far from being present in our own experiences we have drifted? Perhaps our children will balk at having had to break from their experiences in order to “smile for the camera” so much that their desires to fully experience life will be more acute? Is why we share a matter of connection? Yet in pursuit of that through our devices we become disconnected with the essence of who we are. We are missing the natural world around us, and the opportunities to feel our connectedness with everyone and everything beyond the ‘friends’ we have online. I want to ingest each moment, and my kids to do the same. For my part, I’m going to take less photos, and be much more mindful of the way in which I use my device from now on. Real life is there for the taking, it’s so much more than a 2 dimensional moment, real life is multidimensional , it smells, it tastes, it sounds, it feels and breathes, it just can’t be captured in a can. I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others if they inspire, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  Currently in Scotland, we visited an old textile mill. It’s not any old mill, it’s the World Heritage site at New Lanark, a short drive from where I was brought up, marked by the philosophy with which it was run by Robert Owen in the early 1800’s.
Owen was an interesting character whose ideas made for remarkably better living conditions for the workers than elsewhere else in the industrial world at the time. His philosophies on social communities were deemed strange by many at the time, and are still today aspirational. In his New Year’s address to the people of New Lanark in 1816 he said: “What ideas individuals may attach to the term “Millennium” I know not; but I know that society may be formed so as to exist without crime, without poverty, with health greatly improved, with little if any misery, and with intelligence and happiness improved a hundredfold; and no obstacle whatsoever intervenes at this moment except ignorance to prevent such a state of society from becoming universal.” 202 years on, this is still true. We see ourselves as more advanced than we were back then, and yet health and money remain the top two areas of focus for individuals, and most of us are still in pursuit of happiness rather than embracing it as a state of being for the most part. He also said “If we cannot yet reconcile all opinions, let us endeavour to unite all hearts.” Wise words, but I think harmony begins within our own heart. With the recent death of my mum, whose body was ravaged by cancer, I was struck by the end of life phenomenon known as “terminal agitation and delirium”. This happens in the last hours and days of someone’s life. If you look at common cancer information websites, like Marie Curie, you will see they talk about the actual symptoms and guess at the causes, all of which are assumed to be emotional or physical. I was much more interested in the metaphysical reasons for this agitation as a person is letting go of the body and material world. After a bit of reading, looking for something that resonated, I came to the conclusion that the apparent suffering likely arises from the struggle to surrender that separate sense of self, from which emanates a feeling of utter isolation and loneliness, and fear of what will come of that surrender. Having gone through this process myself while in a healthy living state, I can appreciate that those who have been locked in their heads for a lifetime and whose sense of self is so completely identified with their bodies must find these final moments in this life pretty frightening. I know from my own journey and experiences that resisting the inevitable truth - that there is more to ‘you’ and the world around you, a greater intelligence certainly - only worsens fear or suffering. Loosening my grip on the need to fix everything, and trusting the inward feelings of peace I had found after peeling away all the emotional layers I attached to everything around me, led to a trust that things work out for the better when I get out my own way. Life is savage when we believe we have to suffer, for whatever reason, because we will; it’s inevitable. Instead of seeing money as it is, a man-made construct that means nothing except whatever value we place on it; or seeing heath as it is, an opportunity to learn from what our body is teaching us about our lifestyle and thought patterns; or seeing happiness for what it is, our natural state, we feel lacking and then suffer. Coming into harmony in your own heart with your soul, for want of a better word, is where your best life resides. This is where I’ve learned that there is no one truth, only our own truth. There is no one right way, only the way which is best for you in this moment. This means letting go of judgments, of yourself and of others, a thing my head does not like to cooperate with. Yet, as you practice being with yourself, sitting silently for a short period every day, awareness arises of your thoughts. And if you are aware of your thoughts, what is this awareness? It’s like two parts of you. Perhaps it’s a huge fountain of consciousness, some of it running into your body as a vessel but most remains part of the bigger whole. The state of terminal agitation seems to me to arise from the realization that the vessel is about to run dry, yet awareness remains, the fountain is still plentiful. In life, if we can see ourselves not as separate vessels but part of the one fountain, then we can start the process of living in harmony with ourselves, and from there this will lead to a world in which we can live in harmony. Suffice to say in the world today you can see whatever you want to see; from what would appear to be the prevalent more insular and selfish behaviours of many – which I like to think of as a crazy death dance of a desperate egoic state that knows its number’s up – to the more conscious behaviours of those who are aware of their connectedness to everything. So for all Robert Owen’s grand ideas on creating harmonious communities, I think it really is quite simple. If we endeavour to allow the harmony within us to surface, through our individual harmony we will naturally give rise to more harmonious living and communities. We can live in harmony. I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others if they inspire, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  “She’s gone”, I thought. I wrote in her eulogy that we each had to figure out who we are in the world without her, but now that is the reality I have to actually live.
As we head into another year, that is everyone’s reality, in the sense of rediscovering who we really are in this moment. Yet in the absence of something major changing, many of us slip back into old routines despite promises to ourselves to the contrary. Generally that is down to the day to day servitude, the things we feel obligated to, and they are powerful distractions. This year though, with mum’s passing, circumstances around me have shifted and I am forced to ask who I am now. After a year spent contemplating her illness as I walked along the beach many a day, now I shall contemplate her loss and all that means. Being in the UK to say goodbye to mum has also meant catching up with lots of family and friends that I haven’t seen in over a decade. It’s been a long absence for a girl with a large and close extended family. That said, emigrating to the other side of the world is never a decision I’ve regretted, I love the life I’ve created there, and the person I’ve become. But, there are also things about my roots that I find I miss too. For example, sitting in the Kings Theater in Glasgow, watching Elaine C Smith and Johnny Mac in pantomime, I rediscovered the joy of the West of Scotland humour (think Billy Connolly). Perhaps when you know where your humour is, you know where your heart is, or at least the way to it. And so I wonder what will unfold when I head back to the southern hemisphere, taking the best of this trip and the worst of it with me. Where one door closes another opens. I know this from experience time and again. The way the universe delivers serendipities and coincidences, things unfolding in ways you can never imagine save for looking back upon them. It’s another precipice of change. Despite the circumstances, I am curious to see what unfolds next, eager to understand what awaits in this life’s journey. This is not a new year I can talk to those who will determinedly pursue changes amid a stagnant daily routine, though I have done in the past. This is a year marked for me by endings and beginnings, which I accept with hope and mixed emotions. True to the journey I’ve been on so far, I will remain concerned with who I am becoming now and in what way I can be of help in order to feel the warm glow of happiness that emanates when I’m in tune with all of that. Whether you are facing major changes in your life, or things are just humming along, making a commitment to figuring who you are in this moment – now (not the you of yesteryear) – will be one of the best commitments you ever make. The kind of self awareness we need to develop in order to do that requires us to take a much broader perspective of the present moment. It requires us to live in the moment rather than to be swept along by it, to become aware of what we are thinking and feeling and how that is affecting the life that is unfolding around us. Making a commitment to figuring out who you are now, regardless of what unfolds for you in 2018, can only help you to deal with the worst of whatever the year has to offer in a more healthy way, and to receive the best of whatever the year has to offer in a way that can really fill your cup. Talking of which, raise your glass, here’s to you in 2018, whoever you are now. I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others if they inspire, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  This year has been a heart wrenching, heart melting, mind-expanding sort of year. Above all I’ve become more and more aware of our capability as humans and equally aware of how little of it we understand and use it.
The year has ended with my mum’s passing, and some beautiful experiences that surround that. After her death (a welcome release after the months she’d spent debilitated, her body ravaged by cancer) I took some time to sense into her energy. I had a wonderful vision of a hand reaching down from the heavens to pick her up, with first one and then the other hand; the way one would with a small child about to be whirled around. No longer weighted down, light as a feather and as free as the wind, she took to racing across the land, running fast and free with thunderous exhilaration. Then she was a single drop of dew on a rose, then the thorn, then the flower itself, an insect, a blade of grass, the wind that whistled through and the life-giving rain that descended from the sky. All at once she took flight; she was everything and she everywhere. Like a kid in a candy store experiencing the jubilation of life. The feeling that accompanied all of this was exultation and absolute grace. Then a word arose, rejoicing. As wonderful as it was to feel, it led me to appreciate the gap between that and how it would have felt to be shackled to a body so sick. While hers was an extreme and devastating burden, I know how far from the feeling of rejoicing I often feel on an ordinary day to day basis, and how others around me often seem weighted down too. With mum’s passing we have made the trip back to the UK, and have been catapulted from the warm summer and longer days of the southern hemisphere to the cold and dark days of the northern hemisphere. From beach walks to bright lights, late shopping and an abundance of consumables, it’s quite a shift. There seems a lot to distract me here, and it feels pretty overwhelming. In that sense I feel a deep gratitude for the somewhat more low key life I lead back home, more nature and less consumerism. Yet there are the connections with friends and family to warm the heart and reflect back life in new and interesting ways. Being here with my family has made mum’s passing both more poignant and, at the same time, easier. When I experienced the freedom and jubilation in mum’s rejoicing of all that is, I decided that I want to be connected with that feeling more often. Everything in the vision was connected to the natural world around us, a world we often under appreciate, and so I think the key is to appreciate and revel in the simpler things within and around us. Many of our day to day worries don’t really mean much at all when push comes to shove. Most of us know things always work out in the end, yet we constantly worry about how we are going to get there, wherever ‘there’ is at that moment in time. It really isn’t worth it, the worry. Instead, reflect on the miracles we make happen. As much as I think we completely and almost universally underestimate our capabilities, there is one very obvious one we do recognise. The example I have in mind is the power of creation – the miracle of making and birthing new life. When you start to think about the complexities of that, just allow yourself the luxury of imagining what that might mean your true capabilities are. We take for granted this amazing power of creation, yet for the most part seem to miss that it would point to the possibility that we can indeed create anything the mind can conceive and the heart believe. I managed to create two beautiful lives, literally created two beings, yet for the longest time couldn’t fathom that the job I felt trapped in was a prison of my own making rather than an economic ‘necessity’. Suffice to say life has moved on enormously since then, and the journey is well documented, but still, am I truly rejoicing in who I am and what life has to offer? Far from it. Instead we become entangled in others’ opinions, and limit our lives and possibilities with beliefs that were passed along without too much thought, only fears. So my new year’s resolution this year is to uncover more of our human potential, master it, and rejoice in it. To be more of who I am, more of who I was created to be, and to revel in all that means. Rejoicing in who you are means beginning to understand who you are and loving every aspect of that and of life around you. As we head into the New Year, I hope more of us will seek to understand what we are capable of, and start to drop our attachment to those ‘others’ opinions and to rejoice in who you are. I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others if they inspire, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  At a family gathering recently a late night conversation turned to the question about what happens when you die. The question wasn’t asked of me directly, but our small group started sharing views in the zealous way people do when alcohol has lowered their inhibitions.
I remained quiet, not really enjoying the conversation particularly. My partner listened for a while and then prodded me “I’m surprised you’re not joining in” he said, as everyone listened, “this is right up your alley”. He started to add his views about us being energy and said perhaps the others should read my articles. It was awkward and I said nothing. Here’s why. For a start, my core belief is that there is no one truth, I believe each person has their own truth, “each to their own” as the expression goes. Expounding my own beliefs is fine if someone is genuinely interested, genuinely searching for answers and seeking inspiration in the experiences I’ve had. But then, that is why I share my experiences in these blogs, for those who are interested. From the conversation that had already taken place, and from what I already knew of the family, it was obvious to me that he and I were probably the only ones there who believe we are all eternal consciousness, non-physical at our essence, having a physical experience as humans. It was also obvious to me that no one was really looking to hear about my experiences, they simply wanted to state their beliefs. The reason I hadn’t been enjoying the conversation was its limitation; the limitations it infers of us as humans. Our general lack of awareness as a society of the vast powers of our consciousness is something I view as a sad state of affairs. I don’t want to dwell on that, I don’t want to give any energy to it by pushing against it; I’d rather just continue to strive to live life to its fullest potential and share that with others who are interested. Besides, how on earth do I put into one or two sentences (which, in a setting like that, is all you get if you are lucky) the current answers I have to the questions I’ve been seeking answers to for more than half my life. What happens when we die? What is the meaning of life? What is life? What is our human potential? As I say, these are all questions I’ve actively explored for years, it’s an enormous field of study. It’s not just something I give thought to now and again. Sure, the science of consciousness has moved far beyond many of the current views of the world’s residents, and anyone who checked out the latest research and findings in the realms of neuroscience and epigenetics would have cause to reevaluate some of their beliefs. However, most just aren’t that interested. Why push a boulder uphill? And why try and persuade anyone to your point of view? Isn’t that the single cause of conflict on this planet? Isn’t that where religion fails? At the end of the day, we each have an opinion and only that. As I shared recently in Why the Big Questions are Important, when I was talking to someone about life, existence and human potential, he acknowledged the probability of ‘something more’ because of the astounding perfection found in nature, but felt it was fruitless to pursue it as nothing could be proven. My response to that is it can be proven, but only by yourself - through your own experience. And to have mind-expanding experiences, you generally have to be seeking them to be open to them. It doesn’t matter what our science can now tell us, you need to have the experiences to believe them. As part of the same gathering, in a more sober state, the topic of my daughter’s ear infection came up. We happened to be flying in next week and so it was asked whether she was on antibiotics to make sure she’d be okay. All the same emotions and thoughts came up for me then as they did when discussing what happens when you die. To most they are not related, to me everything is related. Here are the thoughts that went through my head. Our bodies are perfect, they are far superior to anything man has ever constructed or dreamed about. They are most certainly capable of (and intended to) heal themselves. We are at a point as a society where we know antibiotics (like most synthetic medicines) kill not just the germs that are harmful, but those that are helpful, we generally all now also believe they are over-prescribed and the germs they were intended for are becoming resistant – and this is just in a matter of a few decades of use. Yet, in fear, many turn to them at the slightest hint of an infection. Here is what I had done about my daughter’s ear infection. I first contemplated the emotional cause, for the body in its perfection uses illness to teach us what we need to learn in order to be healthy. It’s common for children to have earache because of the constant moralizing of adults – she had it at the end of the last school term too (though I don’t exempt myself from the choir that is preaching). Then I had my daughter’s ears physically checked, indeed flying with earache is not just undesirable, it would be a dumb risk for me to take with her hearing. We could see there was fluid in her Eustachian tube. The fluid needed to be drained as it creates pressure on the ear drum, which can be done by blowing your nose regularly and using a nasal spray with just saline or something else natural, along with steam inhalations. If the fluid becomes infected it can become painful, and the body might need some help. Antibiotics have been shown to be effective in only 1 in 9 cases of earache like this (though you can find evidence to support or refute this, but it sounded about right to me personally). I have a preference for energy medicines, homeopathy in particular, and chose Merc Dulc for the job. Within hours the pain (that had become debilitating for her, along with the fever and vomiting) subsided. The next day the pain was gone entirely, the day after her appetite was back, and now the regular nose spray/ blowing sessions are revealing there is no infection and little fluid. Her body, in its perfection, has healed itself. So, what did I say when asked if I’d given her antibiotics? Just that I didn’t think it was necessary or would have been effective. This was enough to kill the conversation in truth, because it lay at the opposite end of the spectrum from the questioner’s beliefs and they did not want to get into an argument. If the topic had come up again in more general terms, I would have just ignored it as I did the question about what happens when you die. Many of us feel awkward when faced with these questions, and we can feel awkward not answering, but it can get very awkward if you end up disagreeing or arguing about your opinions. What wasted energy, for they really are only opinions after all. So when faced with these awkward social situations I think the best thing to do is just to respond as I started here, with “each to their own”. On the other hand, when people are more open or accepting, even if they don’t share your beliefs, it can be inspirational and uplifting. What is by far the most inspirational tact to take, is to simply live your own truth, and let others awaken to their own potential as life leads them to it. I’ve found the best approach in social situations is to turn away from the awkward subjects and lean into the ones in which you have more common ground; it make the whole experience a lot better. I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others if they inspire, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  Last week my young daughter’s poignant observation that her life was far from free, set off a chain of thought that led me to the point of realizing we needed to do some good old fashioned (and somewhat cliché) dream building with our kids.
That then made me realise just how little time we assign to any conscious creation of the life we actually want. Instead, most of the time our thoughts are lost in everything we’re observing and experiencing and that just perpetuates more of the same. So, as I vowed, I started a conversation with the kids about our ideal life. It has only been a brief conversation so far, which in itself is ridiculous as the kids and I have spent enough time together to have had several really good goes at putting together a pretty good picture of the kind of life we would like. As you might imagine, the kids had no problem in coming up with ideas. What I found interesting was the tack they took in their line of thought. Everything they dreamt up appeared to be based on the premise that they would create a lifestyle purely from nature, and it would involve nothing we have commercially available. When I asked them why this was, they replied that they didn’t want to use money. They have none and they have seen the life of bondage it creates in adults. It was fascinating to realise that the kids and I seemed in tune about our ideal lifestyle, even although I have shared very little with them about the direction my own thoughts have taken of late, involving a great deal of contemplation about getting back to a more natural lifestyle. While we spent only a few minutes talking about our ideal life, it has set in motion further thoughts and comparisons with the life we lead now. I have no wish to make life harder than it is, and it can often feel hard just to think about bucking the ‘normal’ ways of living, never mind doing it. I don’t have any aspirations to Tom and Barbara in The Good Life (a 1970’s British Sitcom about a couple escaping commercialism to become self sufficient), I have more of a vision that the new normal will be a return to self sufficiency and sustainability. To create the kind of lifestyle that we would find ideal needs to feel easy though, and not like we would be pushing uphill, though admittedly alternatives lifestyles are certainly more on the agenda these days than they were in the 1970’s. For example, when I consider the schooling choice we have made for our kids, it has exposed us (perhaps more so than in a state school environment) to alternative lifestyles; mainly evident around food choices. Gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free and vegetarian are all common place dietary choices and, while it certainly poses a challenge to cater for any event that traditionally involves ‘treats’ for a number of kids, these types of food are certainly more widely available and easily obtainable than at any other time in my life. Despite that, food shopping, baking and cooking are not high on my agenda. Neither is gardening, although I do appreciate plucking lettuce leaves and other fresh things from our garden - courtesy of my partner’s endeavours - to eat only minutes later. For my own part, I find it simpler to avoid anything involving catering and am just grateful my daughters’ birthdays generally fall in strawberry season, since these are fairly universally regarded as yummy and meet most of the ‘free’ requirements. While I’m not a zealot, I am an advocate of natural living (including food) and feel that, quite simply, the closer something is to its natural state the better it is for us. Yet here we are plopped right in the middle of an age and society that has created a crazy world (see Escape the Insanity of Your Life) where, instead of it being easy to eat richly beneficial food that grows under our noses on the land where we live, it’s easier to eat food that we go online or get in our car to obtain, and may have been flown half way around the world, be genetically modified, highly refined and/or pumped full of enhancers or preservatives. In this regard, I think I need to take more of a lead from my kids, who were not in the least bit concerned about how we would make any of our ideal lifestyle happen. I was busy telling them we could just trust that whatever we came up with would no doubt unfold so long as we trusted and believed in it. Yet there I was, contemplating all the uphill struggles I could foresee. I know it’s not down to me to make everything happen, and I know things always work out, I have just been programmed the way most of us have. Despite all the work I’ve put in on raising my conscious awareness of the thoughts running through my head, and in starting to focus on the thoughts that are more beneficial, that old societal programming still has the ability to kick into overdrive at times. So much so that a whole week has gone past and the kids and I had only that one conversation about creating our ideal life. What happened to all my intentions of getting them to draw pictures of it? Like happens with all of us, life gets busy. I could give you the run down and you may even sympathise, though most likely you’d simply recognise the same craziness in your own life. That is okay, even if it takes me a month, or six, I know we will spend more time dreaming the lifestyle we want into existence. We’ve just made a start, and that will do for now. What about you and the life of your dreams? It’s almost holiday season; most of us get at least some time out. How about just taking a moment of that to dream a little? You never know what could happen, and it’s certain to at least take you in the direction of your best life. I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others if they inspire, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  Yeah right! Except… what is stopping us from making it that way?
“Life is free and life is fun” said the narrator calmly. “Life isn’t free!” my daughter exclaimed; our kids were listening to a bedtime meditation story. Straight away she cited some examples dear to her heart “we don’t have free (style) drawing at school, we have (designated) play groups and, if life was free, we wouldn’t have to go to bed at a ‘reasonable’ hour.” Of course she is right, from her vantage point, life isn’t free. “You can change that” I told her “you came to build a new world, not live in this one. You just have to be smart about it.” I started in on a brief explanation about focusing our thoughts, then just told her to put her attention on what she wants rather than what she doesn’t want. “Imagine what you want in great detail, as much as you can, and trust what your thoughts have set in motion.” The way she picked that statement out about freedom really stuck me, especially as I had just written an article only last week about the insanity of our lives. “It must be the current theme I’m currently exploring in the journey of life” I mused. It reminded me of another story I heard recently, about a priest in Egypt watching on as many hundreds of slaves were put to work on a building project. After a long contemplation he decreed the slaves should be set free and offered coins to do the same work. There was an incredulous response to this course of action, and so he explained that the slaves begrudged the work, and so were slow in their efforts, requiring constant goading. The slaves were also expensive to keep, they had to be fed and housed. And so, for less money, they freed the slaves who – of course – came back to the same jobs much more willingly for coins. “This” the priest said “is democracy”. The key in this story, and the one of our life, is the contemplation that took place on the priest’s part. Those with true power are those who know that power lies within – within the realms of your thoughts and imagination. We only need to grasp that thoughts really do create things, and we have our solution. Of course, we can keep going round the same old hamster wheel year after year, or we can take charge of our thoughts. Or at least start by just noticing what those thoughts are. As a friend of ours said to me today when I told him the story “yep, we get to choose what we think and how we feel”. This is absolutely true, yet most of us run on autopilot and let our feelings be dictated in response to whatever we are experiencing. So we harvest more of the same. If our thoughts and feelings are running on autopilot, who did the thinking that put the thoughts in there? This was the theme of the article Your Best Thinking = Your Best Decisions = Your Best Life. We all have the choice to be like the priest in the story, to observe and to make smart moves, or equally we can choose bondage, like the ‘freed’ slaves. So life can be free and it can be fun, is yours? Mine is probably like yours, I still let what is happening around me dictate what I am feeling too much of the time. Intellectually I get what I’m pointing to in these thoughts I share with you, but emotionally I get wrapped up in everything from the fights the kids have to the things that are happening on the other side of the world with the people I love. There’s nothing wrong with feeling the range of emotions I feel in response to those things, but they create more thoughts, and the thoughts spiral, and before I know it the whole direction of my day can go down the gurgler if I don’t catch what is happening. So I make it my business to catch these thoughts, to be aware of what I’m thinking and feeling, to simply take the steam out of them. I manage that more easily now than ever because, by regularly meditating (for 15 minutes each day), I have practiced and practiced noticing and letting go of thoughts that aren’t helping me. Now it’s about kick starting my fervent imagination, to create the kind of world I want to live in. In What a Wonderful World This Is, I talked about the great things we have to focus on in the here and now, those create a good backdrop from which we can start to paint the canvas of the future. My kids have an amazing imagination, I know when I talk to my daughter about using it to build a new world that she gets this stuff better than I do; she’s not nearly as buried under layers and years of dogmas and societal constructs and other nonsense that has filled our heads and cut us off from our hearts. Perhaps it is time to write a story of the future, the kind of future where life is free and life is fun for all of us all of the time? This is the story of my life, and your life, and our children’s lives, and their children’s lives. It starts here, today, right in this very moment, invest in a bit of dreaming and you’ll have planted a seed for a better future. I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others if they inspire, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  I read a story about a man who had an apple tree on the land where he lived, when he was hungry and fancied one, he picked an apple and ate it. The taste of this apple is beyond the comprehension of most of us today, we are used to buying fruit long since plucked from its source of life, not grown for its nutrition or even taste particularly, more for its shelf life. This apple, however, was freely available to him and contributed greatly to the man’s health and wellbeing.
One day this man looks over at an apple tree on some neighbouring land. He sees others picking all the apples, putting them into boxes. Upon investigation he discovers the apples are being picked for a thing called a wholesaler, who will exchange them for a thing called money with a thing called a shop. A shop is where his fellow man will go with his own money that he has earned from a thing called a job to buy the apple. Some portion of the money the wholesaler and the retailer made, will go towards a thing called a tax imposed by a thing called a government. I could go further. On neighbouring land he may in fact see orchards full of apple trees, propagated for more so for their looks and shelf life than anything else. This land will be sprayed with fertilizers, insecticides and weed killers to keep the orchard in full production. What part of this makes sense? The man could not make sense of it, why would his fellow man take a job to buy something he had freely available? He had planted a variety of trees and shrubs, the plants on the land he tended did not need things sprayed upon them in order to thrive, they naturally attracted insects that were helpful to their growth and the dead leaves and fallen branches of other plants would fertilize the soil. Once upon a time there was an Earth more abundant with plant life and beasts than it is today. Humans lived in that abundance, freely on the land, man had not yet ‘carved up’ nature proclaiming ownership of some sort. Yet here we are, the proverbial frogs slowly boiled in a pan of water. How did this happen? I can recount to you several theories, or perhaps you can work it out for yourself. Logic would dictate it was driven by a thirst for power and by people who did much planning and scheming. We had abundance, we cut it up and created ‘systems’ that we now we live in slavery to. Whoever the original source or sources, they had time to think and knew that their thoughts held the key to creation. Perhaps let’s not dwell on who, because it’s happened over such a long period of time (proverbial frogs remember) and it really is no longer even relevant. What is more relevant is to recognise it for what it is, insanity. It is said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Mmm, well then, how do we break the cycle? Well, start by simply becoming aware that you live in bondage to a man made construct called ‘society’ shaped and reshaped over hundreds or years, thousands actually. Given all the habitable land on Earth (estimated 15.77 billion acres) this is enough for more than 2 acres per person, though as Mahatma Gandi said “There is enough for everyone’s need, but not for everyone’s greed”. So why it that land, which preceded humans, is something which is ‘owned’? I used to think ‘living off grid’ was the domain of hippies and doomsday preppers, but lately I’ve been looking at things a little differently. Although I wouldn’t call myself a gardener, I do recall what my dad taught me about planting with the end in mind, with regard to the natural size things would grow, the natural cycles and seasons, to create all year round interest and food. A few of the parents at our kids’ school have taken such courses in organic gardening in recent years. People are beginning to see the sense in returning to the land. We should not underestimate the difference in taste and nutritional value of plants grown in loving care. Talking to ones plants has always been a bit of a kooky gardener’s thing. Yet think how anything reacts if it is treated simply as one of a number. Perhaps look at the work of Masaru Emoto when he decided to photograph frozen water from various different sources – the difference between water bestowed with good wishes and that which is not is immense. While I’ve focused on plants here, it’s worth also consider whether humans have yet to make anything anywhere near to the perfection found in nature. Even with plants we have lost a lot of what our ancestors knew about their healing properties. But there is so much about the natural world, including our own bodies and consciousness that eludes us as we have become so entrapped in a different world of our own making. There was a time when I would aspire to things money could buy: bigger houses, nice clothes, expensive trips and fine jewelry were on the list. I’ve had, and still have, nice things. But nothing we humans have created comes even close to the intelligence and beauty found naturally. Compare nature to the ugliness of man’s rotting creations of yesteryear, the ever-growing garbage pile of consumable goods, never mind the run down appearance and associated societal issues with old housing and untended parts of towns. Everything we create requires maintenance. We have becomes slaves of our own creations, creations that are substandard to those that naturally exist, and are freely available in nature. And nothing – not all the massages, spas and holidays – comes as close to soothing and creating clarity as time in nature. Time to think, to contemplate life, your life. Time, as another friend reminded me today, another man made construct. It’s the one thing most people yearn for more of, time to do with whatever they feel – the things you want to do rather than the things you feel you have to do. What can you do about it? Rage against the machine is one thing, but it does nothing but give power to the machine. Better to ignore it altogether if possible, focus on the future you do want. What is that though? Have you taken any time to think about it beyond the relentless machine you are part of today? Perhaps now is the time. As we approach another new year, a time when typically people reevaluate their lives. What about a commitment to have regular time to contemplate your life, to keep your eye on the bigger picture, to make quality decisions? Making it a priority to take time just for you, to think, to simply be, is far more important than you realise. You are part of the generations becoming more aware of themselves on Earth, you know you are a frog whose skin had adapted to the boiling temperatures of the pot, but you also feel the freedom beyond the pot and yearn to make the leap. Go ahead, take the leap, escape the insanity of this man made world and take some time to fill your cup in nature. Not just temporary reprieves, but life changing moves. Take the time to contemplate your life, to do your best thinking, and that will lead to your best life. I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others if they inspire, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  As I was talking to someone last week about life, existence and human potential, he acknowledged the probability of ‘something more’ because of the astounding perfection found in nature, but felt it was fruitless to pursue it as nothing could be proven.
I reflected on this and realised that is not in fact true, it can be proven – but – only to oneself. There is little value in trying to prove or persuade anyone else to a belief in something that cannot be taught, only experienced. The more I pondered this, I asked myself why it’s important to ask the bigger questions about our existence. The answers are many, but can be summed up simply as the answers lead you to your best life. As discussed in previous articles, like “is religion stopping you from exploring your inner world?”, for many years I simply didn’t think too deeply about the meaning of life, although I did come to a vague point of appreciating that there was more that existed beyond my comprehension. Then, just prior to leaving the corporate world three years ago, I had a number of things fall into place that suddenly opened my eyes to a whole new world around me. Shortly afterwards, I managed to neatly manifest an exit from corporate life with a steely determination to uncover more of the real me, I just felt there was so much more to me and to life than I was experiencing. Over these last few years, I have written to focus my thoughts and understand my feelings, understanding these are the very tools of creation. Thoughts, and the way we feel about them, become things. Taking charge of our thoughts and feelings begins a process of creating life experiences that are wanted rather than a result of lazy thinking. Lazy thinking is – for example – thoughts about hating a boss, a job, a partner. There is nothing wrong in having the thought, the point is to recognise the thought and recognise that unless you do something to change the thought you will continue to experience all the same things in the future. Note I’m saying “change the thought” rather than the boss, job or partner. You can do those things too, certainly the thoughts you have gathered about those will have a lot of momentum and are perhaps easier to change when there are not those specific people in your life. However, if you don’t learn to recognise and change the unhelpful thought patterns that led to those circumstances, you will simply attract them again in a different guise. So, yes, you can change your experiences in life. First there are those experiences with the things that you have personal relationships with – like your health, wellbeing, relationships and wealth. A good place to start, but as you undertake the journey and your experiences validate the power of your thoughts and feelings in your life, keep asking yourself about the bigger questions -“why am I here?”. “what is the purpose of my life?”, “what is the purpose of all life?”. As I did and discovered that the more I come to know, the more I realise I don’t know. Life is exponentially more amazing than I imagined. Muhammad Ali once said “If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it – then I can achieve it”. I’ve known this to be true for a while. So let’s zone into something quite spectacular. Think Star Trek and “beam me up Scottie”, can a human dematerialise and then rematerialise in another place? In the same or a different time and space dimension? Only you can answer that for yourself. I have now had enough experience of my own existence in this physical body and of the non-physical energy that flows through it to believe that is indeed possible. Though is seems a rather intense process to put the physical body through when it is entirely possible to separate all that you are from your physical body temporarily and undertake experiences elsewhere much more easily. I was thinking this as I spent almost 60 hours in a metal tube flying through the air this week to visit loved ones. Now that really takes a toll on the body physically. Yet, if there was a more widespread understanding of the human capacity to do this, people who live at a distance could easily ‘visit’ or communicate with each other without the arduous undertaking of the body making the actual journey. You can remain skeptical of this, but should you wish to explore it, you will find there are examples out there of humans who have and do achieve this. And should you wish to not believe them, you will find evidence for that too. What remains at the heart of this is the controversy that we are eternal, non-physical beings who are simply having a physical experience in this time and space dimension. Instead we see ourselves cut-off from all that is and believe we are only this body and the thoughts it has. But for me, and the experiences that have led to me to this broader understanding of life, so much of the way we live and the things that cause pain are so unnecessary. If every thought that ever existed still remains, it is only energy after all, and you can access that ‘thought bank’ at any time, then why do we ‘educate’ our children? Why do we treat our children as empty vessels that need to “learn about the world”? What if they are actually only needing to learn how to best flow their energy through this physical apparatus they projected themselves into? Therein lies the problem. That is not something most of us know how to teach, and so for generations we have perpetuated this insanely limited and cut-off version of who we really are. What if nature can provide you with absolutely everything you need? There is nothing man has invented that even comes close to the natural world. You might think of modern technology as being something of an example, well, while the internet perhaps provides a conceptual example of what I am talking about in terms of the ‘thought bank’ I mentioned, it is vastly inferior to what already exists. But just look at water, The Miracle of Water was what came of me contemplating this for months as I walked along the beach. But you could do the same with air. Then there’s earth, an amazing ever-changing aspect of the planet, bringing us all that we need to be healthy. If we understood the power within nature to heal us, rather than relying on the synthetic versions produced by companies who are after money, a construct in itself created by humans to what? To keep you busy, to stop you from thinking about the absurdity of working to earn money to be able to buy food and shelter which is already available to every human being on the planet. The only reason it is not freely available is why? Why do governments exist? Why do the leadership of those governments not get the time to make quality decisions? Why do we entrust so much to people who haven’t got that quality time? Quality Time = Quality Decisions = Quality of Life. These are big questions, but money, education, healthcare, commerce, governments, the whole construct of our society today is so unnecessarily restrictive to human potential. If you are interested in opening up to alternatives to these just read things like Frederic Laloux’s Reinventing Organisations or Vladimir Megre’s Ringing Cedar series. And even death, it is thought of as a bad thing, a painful thing in our society. But if we believed we are non-physical and we are eternal, we might have a different vantage point of this process. Ask yourself the questions, start with you, and who you are, but keep asking and you will find that the secrets to your happiness and wellbeing are not so hard to find, for they lie within. To go within, step out into nature, meditate, it’s not hard, you just have to want to do it. If you are not entirely happy with your life, this is a starting point if you want it to be. Asking the big questions will lead to answers, and those answers will help you unlock the secrets to your best life. I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others if they inspire, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  Where do you do your best thinking? For me it’s at the beach, which is only a short drive away, and I make it a priority to get there regularly and alone.
Good for me, what a luxury to regularly get to the beach. Not so much, I have moved mountains to make quality thinking time a priority, even then it only happens in short bursts, but anything is better than nothing. If I’m at the beach and my kids are in tow, well, it’s unlikely much of my attention will be focused anywhere other than them. The same applies if I’m with a friend, or anyone else who is going to need my attention. It’s not just people who distract you from your inner world though, it’s all the thoughts that are swimming around your head about what has happened, what is happening and what needs to happen. That is what makes some form of regular meditation so vital, to quieten the less useful thoughts, the fog, and get some clarity and perspective on what is important. There’s no need to make a meal of meditation, the point is to do it regularly, 15 minutes is all you need, allow yourself to get in the habit of noticing and switching your thoughts instead of running on automatic pilot. These last few years I’ve written a lot about how we cloak ourselves in layer upon layer of others’ beliefs and expectations, derived mainly from our early childhood years and societal expectations, resulting in us not really dancing to the beat of our own drum. But what is it that leads to these expectations and how do we break free of them? Well, for a start, think about your beliefs. Do some quality thinking. These days with so many working outside the home, and so much media vying for your attention, it’s easy to get sucked along and not really do much thinking at all. As I read about the leaders of a country being so busy that they really didn’t get the time to make quality decisions, it led me to memories of the corporate world and all the unnecessary meetings and truckloads of email and other nonsense that constantly stood in the way of allowing enough space for quality thinking and, therefore, quality decisions to be made. It leads you to wonder who is shaping the thinking of today’s leaders? I read a thought provoking statement about Hitler the other day, that while his generals were held to account after the war for their actions, what about his advisors, his spiritual advisor for example? The whole thought pointed to Hitler as more of a puppet than a puppeteer. So setting aside that particular example, it does raise an interesting question - who are you, the puppet or the puppeteer? My mum, always so worried I’d be led astray by some dogma or other, asked me quite a few times when she read my early articles about who and what was influencing my thinking. I told her what I’ll repeat here, I do my own thinking and encourage everyone to do the same. Sure, listen, read things, read the opposite just to challenge yourself, but go with what feels right for you in that moment. I recall a conversation at two in the morning with an old mentor of mine (we were in different time zones) who was a whistle-blower on the leadership of an Amway distribution group that had been deceiving people about the extent of their profits coming from the personal development system, rather than the Amway products themselves. He said to me “If something feels off, Shona, trust yourself, it probably is”. That resonated, and it was a turning point for me in terms of self confidence. Over the last 20 years I’ve largely shut myself off from sources of distraction and persuasion – like TV, newspapers, social media etc, and tend to shun any kind of ‘group think’ in favour of my own thinking. You might wonder that I am therefore not abreast of ‘important’ current affairs, believe me it’s amazing what I seem to pick up by osmosis through everyone around me. It’s more amazing what people think is important, yet those same people aren’t taking the time to think about what is truly important. Those who read my articles regularly will know I’ve been encouraging people to start thinking about the big stuff – the “Why am I here? What is life about? What is my purpose?” stuff. It’s important; it will kick you into a different mode of thinking, one that can be less influenced by the plethora of media out there. It’s just as important – more so probably – for our younger generations to think about these things, they are leading us into the next evolution of our world after all. If you get caught up in the drudge of life, before you know it you’re at the other end, wondering what happened and wishing you’d spent more time dancing to the beat of your own drum, rather than doing what was expected of you by others. So what of all this? You do your best thinking and what? Well, you make better decisions, pure and simple. The kind of thinking and decisions many only make once a year (if that) when on holiday. This is how I like to live life. And right now I can tell you I’m happier than I’ve ever been, it’s been that way for a while. It doesn’t mean I don’t have challenges or that I don’t want more from my life, quite the opposite. It just means I make it a priority to make sure I have perspective, so I don’t get bogged down in drudge and get back on a hamster wheel. You are important, you are unique, you are worthy and you are enough. What do you want for your life? How do you want to feel day after day? Only you can make you a priority. If you don’t, no one else will. I can tell you something though, if you will make it a priority to give yourself the space to do some quality thinking on a regular basis, you will absolutely change the momentum of your life for the better. And that is good for everyone. I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others if they inspire, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  Life was designed to be perfect
As were you and I Yet, far too often ‘less than’ is the now prevalent cry Really? Are you able to see what is all around? In nature energy and answers always abound Are we so cut off from our world we can’t see what really is? Instead we live our lives in some kind of indoctrinated fizz We took what was perfect and carved it to our demands Yet have created nothing as perfect or sustainable As already exists in our heart and our lands In fact we took our world and carved it in such a way As to make ourselves nothing but slaves both night and day When I am sick or sad or mad, it’s a gift for me to see What my inner world has been trying hard to tell me Help is always near in the natural world that we live Take a walk, feel the truth of all that actually is Switch off your device Stop listening to that clown The fizz is stifling; it keeps your thoughts spinning round Round the same old circuits, believing you are less Believing in what? The answer is anyone’s guess Whatever it is Is usually designed to keep you down Believing you are not enough Intended to wipe the smile, perpetuate a frown Do you know why you’re here? Do you know how perfect you are? Do you know that in all those questions you can ask The answer is never far Yet most live their lives The questions, even if asked Left unanswered as they hide behind the mask Go take time in nature Reach within and you shall see The answers are already there They exist within me I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others if they inspire, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  Hello
I do not know where to begin, only that there must be some words inside to stir your heart with warmth. In the way it has been for generations we treated you like something that needed tamed, shaped. Like a horse, you got broken. This was society’s way, we knew better than the generation before, but only marginally. We stopped physically lashing out for the most part, but our words, feelings and actions were used to control you none the less. You came knowing your worth, your purpose, and your freedom. We have tried extremely hard to cast layer upon layer on top of your knowing, yet you still feel it do you not? Only now there is no clarity, for now we have succeeded in obscuring it. Clarity will come, but you have to seek it. To know who you are, why you are here, why any of us are here, these are important questions. Right now you believe you are learning to think for yourself. If you start to ask yourself these important questions about your life, there will come a point when you realise that your mind – a most powerful tool – is starting on those outer layers. You are heavily shrouded. Your first answers will be tainted. And more. Yet the answers lie within, keep going. What to do? What to say? To fail you, well, that was our path, and it is a perfect path because it can be nothing else. We have failed you miserably, yet not. Bad is good, in that it shows you the way if you choose to listen. We cannot go back in time, we can evolve from today. Your experiences will play their part in our evolution. Celebrate being not normal. Normal is a zombie of yesterday’s paradigm. As the saying goes, you did not come to live in this world, but to create a new one. We need a new paradigm on earth; you needn’t look far to see this. “But I need money to live”… trapped in today’s Earth. Our potential far exceeds the way we live today. Your potential is incomprehensible to those with rational minds; ignore them as best you can. The answers are there to find, look within. Imagine a life free of economic constraints. Imagine a life free of government control. Actually, be more basic, let’s start somewhere else, you are a teenager after all. Imagine a life free of parental control? Free of the limitations of an educational ‘system’. Imagine a life free of your neurosis about how you look? How you will appear to others. What others will think of you. Imagine a life free of sexual desire. In itself this desire is not a bad thing when it is born of love, but born of lust it is empty, soulless, you know this. So let’s go bigger, imagine a world where people act out of love. Wow, a world where people act only out of love? Sounds like a revisit to the 1970’s. Those hippies transcended their self limiting thoughts using drugs. The same exists today. You do not need drugs to transcend the thoughts we have shrouded you in. You only need to become conscious of how badly these thoughts mess with your happiness. Your thoughts are controllable, so are you feelings. Shoot, now I’ve let the cat out of the bag. Learning how to master that is key to mastering your future. Our future. The future of mankind. When your heart breaks, you have allowed someone’s opinion to become your reality. Realize there is nothing but opinions out there. Nothing said before, by anyone, is anything but opinion. There are no such things as facts – unless you would like me to cite the ‘facts’ of yesteryear to see what a ridiculous concept this is. One plus one does not always equal two, otherwise how would you exist? Man plus woman can equal man plus woman plus child in case you didn’t get that. Perspective changes depending on your plane of thinking. Include this stream of words among those that you need to discern for yourself the truth – and that lies within. Look into your heart for the answer. So you, young teenager, have much to think about. It will take you a lifetime so there is no hurry. For now, as always, enjoy what is before you. Just know that you are more than you thought, you are love personified and you worthy of the future you will create. Is that too big? Did I miss the mark? Then we have made you feel too small. The sadness you feel, the hurt you feel, the anger you feel, is you knowing that life is meant to be more. Yes indeed, you are more, and life is more. But you need to ask yourself those important questions – to know who you are, why you are here and why any of us are here - then go seek your best life and we will stand in amazement at the beautiful future you unfold. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  “Who am I?” I asked, “why are we here?”
The answer came and it keeps coming Obtusely my thoughts wander to my young daughter’s creations She often doesn’t know when to stop, beauty rapidly transforms into chaos I note this is where I am in my musings about life There is much to learn None of it taught in school In fact it is perhaps true to say What is important Is undone in school Though the truth begins before that, at the spawning, the dawning, of each life Parents so unaware of who they have created This tale could go on Let’s say for now that you are so much more than you know Our children, especially those in their first years Are much more so Imagine every thought that has ever been Held in a universal memory bank Instantly accessible to anyone to understands how to direct their attention We come knowing If we come able to access all that is and all that has been Then what use is a parent that tries to teach us to fit in to this world when we have come to create a new one? What use is a school system that teaches knowledge rather than enquiry? History rather than how to shape our future? Imagine your child knows all there is to know And you spend all your time convincing them they know nothing Teaching them fear in a bid to keep them safe Now look around, this is the world we live in I consciously try to focus my thoughts now Because I know my thoughts, together with the way I feel when I am thinking them, shape my reality I understand this isn’t some rah-rah designed to get me to hit my monthly target, drive a Ferrari or live in a mansion, this is serious shit This is the heart of all creation My hope for humanity Is that more of you start to take your thoughts seriously To shake off your shackles of yesteryear when you were taught how unimportant you are When you were subjected to a multitude of opinions that told you how unworthy you are And you see all of that for what it is, opinion Opinions that were relentless, when you were powerless Opinions that were manipulated generation upon generation Rendering you a mere shadow of your true nature Please step out of the shadow You are important Please start to take more care of your greatest gift Your thought Use it consciously Use it wisely It can lead you to your worst nightmare or your best life You decide If I can be more conscious of my own thoughts Heed my own words Then there is indeed hope Taking charge of our own lives, our own feelings, our own thoughts This too, is simply another opinion My hope for humanity Is that you look into your heart And you feel the truth of your own power For human potential to flower again This is my hope Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  ;This week conversations with friends seemed to centre around connecting with our life purpose. I’ve always wanted to say “…and that is my calling”, but I’m just not quite in that place yet. I can sense it’s getting closer, yet it’s still elusive.
One friend, that I have watched struggle so much in the last year as she has taken off the corporate layers that were weighing her down, reflected on the temporary job she has helping in a school that requires extra assistance with pupils who need more focused attention. She said “although it’s not my life’s purpose it is, at least, doing something more purposeful.” There’s something in that. Then I was reading an account of a young girl whose mother had left her as a baby in a small rural village with her grandparents to bring her up while she went off to seek her fortune in the big city. Years had passed and the little girl was so miserable and sickly as she yearned to see the mother with whom she had no contact nor memories. One day she happened to meet with a very wise lady in the forest and, when asked what was weighing on her tiny shoulders, the little girl shared her heart’s desire as she looked at this lady with tear stained eyes. Unlike the grandparents, this lady made no move to console her with thoughts that one day soon her mother would come. Instead, she quietly and calmly told the little girl that her mother may not come back for 20 years, or ever, though perhaps she would come by next week, she could not say. Her mother, who had not made her fortune in the city, and in fact had lost everything, comforted herself that perhaps at least she had done the best thing for her daughter. The wise lady talked to the little girl about this. Then she asked the little girl to think about the scene her mother would come upon if ever she did return, ailing from her own disappointments and hurts and failure. Would the little girl prefer her mother find her sad and weak, living in run down conditions, or that she find her strong and vibrant, in a thriving environment? From that moment the little girl determined to take more care of herself and the little house she lived in with her grandparents, and this in turn inspired the grandparents and then the neighbours to take more care of their little village. The scene transformed from run down to flourishing. There is something in that too. I may not know yet what role awaits me, but I do trust that one will come about that fits like a glove. In the meantime I can wring my hands and weep for what is not yet in my life, or I can be purposeful and do things that matter. What matters to me matters not. There is not a shelf stacked with ‘good causes’, though society would have you think that. What matters to you matters; discount anything that matters because it's important to someone else. Whether it’s nurturing a seed, taking a hike, contemplating the extraordinary science of nature or throwing a javelin, what matters is that it fills your cup and feels like time well spent. We are often so busy doing things we feel we should do, and being miserable, what is the point in that? Misery was certainly not your life’s purpose, it only points to what you don’t want in your life. A great start, but don’t stay there. If your life is crap, just do something that at least feels better than whatever you are doing right now that is making you miserable. But don’t stop there; keep going, until your life is more joyful than miserable. Be purposeful in filling your cup and then, one dot at a time, one day at a time, it will lead you to your best life. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  Possibility has been on my mind a lot lately, I seem to be drawn to stories about the extraordinary capabilities of our kind. I’m not talking particularly about the physical feats of athletes, more about what is possible – natural even - in terms of wellness, healing, intellect and communication.
A few years ago when I watched the sci-fi movie Lucy, starring Scarlett Johanssen and Morgan Freeman, based around the concept that humans don’t use more than 10-15% of the brain’s capacity, I cried. Through an accidental overdose of a mythical synthetic drug, Lucy develops extraordinary abilities (such as telekinesis and telepathy), eventually as the drug continues to be absorbed into her system, she is unable to sustain her human form and dematerializes into non-physical energy. I cried because I felt the movie, albeit a fictional account, had hit upon several truths: one being we are all energy coming into and out of form, the other is our conscious awareness of that energy (and its power and potential) are – even when recognised – so underused. Then last year when I read Jonathan Livingston Seagull, the revised edition with an added fourth part, I felt that also explored the same concept with the added depth of perceptiveness into why humans have shunned the powers and insights available to us. It’s no surprise that since then I’ve also uncovered stories of people alive today who are both consciously aware of their powers and use them to great effect, two recently were particularly interesting. There are the abilities of Teal Swan to divert her waking consciousness to other realms, though her abilities were enhanced by a rather brutal and harrowing start in life. Then there’s the contrasting story of Anastasia, someone you could call a hermit living in nature, who displays extraordinary intellect, wellbeing and knowledge as well as healing powers and astonishing powers of non-physical communication. The interesting thing about these stories, whether you believe them or not, is the possibilities that open up. While I have talked about my own spiritual awakening and the abilities that seem to be opening up in my own life, what I am constantly drawn to are these bigger secrets of the universe. Listening to anyone who clearly channels wisdom greater than that stored in their own head is completely fascinating. It quickly becomes apparent how crude our current science and technology is, and how little we are tapped into both the physical and non-physical worlds around and within us. The question for me is what to do with this expanded view? It’s not that I feel compelled to uncover the secrets of sound energy as indicated by Abraham Hicks in response to a question asked about the pyramids in Egypt, or to investigate the accuracy of Anastasia’s theory for quickly and economically reducing city pollution by 30-40% by inserting a filter of sorts in car bumpers, or the plethora of theories about what our natural environment has to offer or theories in relation to child rearing – in that respect I feel more like I’m awakening to truths already known. As I look around at our world, it’s no mistake that I have felt more than a little dissatisfaction with our education systems, healthcare systems, judicial systems and the very systems of government and enterprise themselves. The premise and philosophies most of our ‘first world’ societies are based on feel too limiting, too primitive and, well, frankly, cut off from what is right under our noses. Many times I’ve wondered about at the questions that arise from apocalyptic stories, and how most of us would fare in a world without ‘modern’ conveniences. And I’ve always been drawn to the ancient wisdom of tribal communities who seem much more in touch with nature and the world around and within them. Yet none of this has compelled me into fields of learning or discovery beyond that which first grabs my attention; I learn what I need to, when I need to, following my intuition. Anastasia was brought up in the purity of nature, in Siberia, well away from human communities of any sort; her raw potential nurtured and allowed to flourish. In contrast I chose a life experience like most, in a society that caused me to close off my intuition early on and learn based on reason, authority and rational explanation. Only 7 or 8 years ago, I was undergoing a Myers Briggs psychometric evaluation as part of a corporate restructure/career planning process that all the senior managers were subject to. By this point in my career I had undergone so many psychometric tests it was hard to keep up with all the labels – and anyone who knows the MBTI evaluation knows it results in 16 boxes you can find yourself in. What really struck me at this point was just how lost I was. In my early twenties when I started doing these kinds of tests, they were fascinating, illuminating even, facilitating lots of personal growth. However, nearing my forties, I was starting on a more determined path to an authentic career. The consultant and I spent a long time discussing sensing versus intuition, thinking versus feeling and judgement versus perception. Now I look back and can see clearly I was emerging from the highly rational, mind-oriented, society-indoctrinated cocoon that had wrapped around Shona Keachie and been presented to the world for nearly four decades. But at that point I couldn’t even clearly answer questions about using my intuition; I just couldn’t decipher who I was. Compare this to the me who has embraced my highly intuitive psychic abilities lately. So I am starting to get a clearer picture about what is possible for humanity, the question is what to do about it? All of this possibility and no clear impulse yet. That is the crux of my musing, life is always full of possibilities regardless of where your spheres of interest lie, the question is what you will do with those possibilities. Of course, I don’t want to get to the end of my life and wish I had done something and instead done nothing, but that is unlikely given my track record. Neither am I going to rush off to the Siberian taiga to find myself, though I do have an undeniable thirst for nature. What I lack at this point is clarity. And that is okay. If I look back at the twists and turns in my own life, I have faith that I will know when the time is right and I’ll act on whatever it is that has inspired me. So I shall just keep interested in following the clues that seem to present themselves – which basically just means I’ll keep doing whatever I feel inspired to do, be it read another book or tune into to anothers’ story or take a walk on the beach. That is all you can do. The world is full of possibilities, can you see those in your own life? Just follow your inspiration one day at a time to uncover your best life. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  If you are of my generation – I’m a generation X-er – or older, you were likely brought up in a culture where there was deference to authority. The word of the government, and those systems run by government (the health care system and the education system), or the word of the church, and the people called to them and employed within them “knew better”.
This was a carryover from the hugely powerful opinions that dominated for centuries. As white men adopted technology and thought they knew better than the “savages” they “civilized” large parts of the globe. Let’s cut to the wise words sung in Colours of the Wind in Disney’s Pocahontas: You think you own whatever land you land on The earth is just a dead thing you can claim But I know every rock and tree and creature Has a life, has a spirit, has a name You think the only people who are people Are the people who look and think like you But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger You'll learn things you never knew And so as the money that ‘great’ British Empire was built upon diminished, people are slowly learning that the great systems of government - even those created in ‘breaking free’ of the Empire - are no longer so great after all. There was a time when healthcare actually involved a deeper level of care, and sadly many who are healers and compassionate in their core are drawn into a system that is more about budgets and targets these days. In the words of Alan Shore, played by James Spader, in Boston Legal: “The fact is the U.S. pharmaceutical industry spends almost twice as much on promotion as it does on research and development. That’s obscene!” Albeit this is from a fictional storyline, it points to something that is evident. Dee McCaffrey (one of the government scientists that put together the original food pyramid, the government’s recommendations of healthy proportions of food groups) talks about how pressure from the big food companies ended up in the pyramid changing, with way more emphasis on bread than was actually though healthy. She also talks about the history of stevia – a natural sweeter that does not upset the chemical balance within your body in the same way as refined sugars and sweetners, and can be harvested quite cheaply in plentiful amounts – and how the company selling artificial sweeteners in the early part of the twentieth century lobbied the government to ensure stevia was discredited and made unavailable. Yet many still look to their doctor for healthcare advice and treatment. Doctors study for jobs that largely involve surgical procedures and pharmaceutical interventions that ‘bomb the enemy’. Look to any war to see the devastation that creates in society for decades, even centuries, beyond. The same is true within the microcosm of society that exists within our own bodies. Alternative therapies and/or complementary therapies have been positioned in a derogatory way next to the big pharmaceuticals. Setting aside energy medicines that are based on the belief we are made of energy and essentially non-physical beings having a physical experience (that is a whole other debate, but you will find fields like neuroscience and epigenetics are now starting to point to this), even those therapies that have a direct effect on the physical system, like nutritional supplements, massage therapy and herbal remedies are often seen as woo woo. Even when they are not, too many people still put their healthcare in the hands of “medical professionals” who are generally less likely to have the knowledge and experience about these alternative and complementary therapies – never mind funding - that can help the patient back to a point of wellbeing. Certainly very few are funded to offer these as treatment routes. Meanwhile there are many more health practitioners out there who have studied many of these alternative therapies in great depth, and continue to keep abreast of the latest research and findings despite the many attempts to discredit or downplay their importance. But because of an ingrained deference to the ‘authority’ of traditional systems, too many people are still missing out. If you haven’t looked lately, over the last 20 years huge swaths of research and studies have been undertaken around the world that seek to understand alternative medicines and their effects on humans, and to understand our emotional wellbeing and its’ effects on illness, and even to understand consciousness itself. I could talk in similar ways about the education system, and its effect on burgeoning humans – and the various doctrines of any church. Dare I say all of these things are simply the perspective of a person. Even those whom channel the energy of that you might call God, or spirit, have channeled it through their physical apparatus with all of its limitations. This is a perspective, it is no more valid or credible – and no less so – than anyone else’s. Each person experiences life from a different vantage point, and (regardless of training and experience) all anyone EVER has to offer you is an opinion. No more, no less. Look to our new generations, who pay much less attention to ‘authority’ because they see it for the falsehood it is, it is only an opinion, and certainly it is not absolute. The only opinion that really counts, the only ONE truth, is the truth you hold within yourself in this moment. I’m not talking about the truth as you were taught to believe it, the one that speaks from the facts and figures stored in your mind, I’m talking about the wisdom that resides in your own heart, your own intuition, which can always discern your own truth, the way that is best for you right now. Putting your life, whether in its physical, mental or spiritual capacity, in the hands of any other authority than your own, is detrimental to your wellbeing. Sure, seek advice, seek opinions, but take charge of your beliefs, question the thoughts that reside as a result of your early upbringing, they may no longer serve you. Not to put too fine a point on it, reexamining your beliefs can save your life. Take your wellbeing into your own hands. Your own opinion is the only one that counts. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  When who you are, your most authentic self, carries a stigma...
“Who the heck AM I?” I wondered. I had just, quite unexpectedly, told my good friend what her dead sibling had to say to her. That was over 2 years ago. I was – and still am – on a deliberate journey to figure out who I am. I had left the corporate world more than 6 months beforehand and had started publishing a blog. Writing helped me focus on what I wanted to say, or find out. As I wrote I came to realise that we are each a bit like onions, with layer upon layer of self-limiting beliefs we have picked up in our lifetime. I also recognised the joy and release in focusing my attention in the present, and that joy is our natural state. The year before I had awakened fully to my spirituality, a series of dots suddenly joining, but this phenomenon was something new. Growing up I had heard about psychics and mediums, if I’m honest they probably scared and intrigued me a little, but I really had nothing to do with anyone like that – mainly because I didn’t know anyone like that. It was the stuff of fairgrounds and gypsies so far as I knew. My upbringing was conservative, as was society. I wasn’t aware of anyone I knew who was ‘different’ in any way. It was really only through media hype, reading fiction, self-development and watching movies and sci-fi that my world expanded. When I watched the first version of The Secret DVD in 2006, I listened again and again to Esther Hicks, her words were so poignant and wise, and I was eventually intrigued by the subtitle “Voice of Abraham”, wondering what that meant. When I later watched The Secret Behind the Secret DVD, which is Esther’s story, I began to understand that she was channeling a more universal intelligence than that which resided in her own mind. At the same time I was starting out in a new country and looking for someone I could bounce ideas off of as I built my life, someone who could give me a broader perspective. A friend recommended a lady who was a ‘psychic remedial psychologist’. The word psychic didn’t sit comfortably with me, but I decided to meet her anyway. I talked, she listened, and she’d reflect back to me what she had heard. Except sometimes she’d reflect back to me what she’d heard without me ever talking. While there was a frustration in not being able to mentally offload at times, what I was hearing resonated so I kept listening and by the end of the session felt lighter without saying much of anything. It was a strange experience really because she never explained what psychic meant, or tried to teach me the art, she simply amplified back to me what she was sensing or conveyed what she was hearing. Only now do I understand it enough for it to seem quite normal to me. Now I can quite easily articulate that, given that we are just energy at our essence, with that energy preceding all thought, and thought (and, more importantly, feelings in relation to those thoughts) creating the experiences we are having, interpreting the energy doesn’t seem so weird. In fact, we all do it every day, it’s called our intuition. Psychic ability is simply the ability to turn up the volume on your intuition. We all have (and generally acknowledge) intuition, we do not all – however – acknowledge the existence of anything more than we can process with our physical senses, nor do we all agree on what that non-physical realm might be. This creates a conundrum. If the fullest expression of who you are is something the world at large recognises and agrees on, great. If not, it can be a bit tricky. Listening to JP Sears talk recently on the topic of self acceptance, I was reminded of a concept that I have heard Eckhart Tolle, Esther Hicks and many others talk about, and it this idea that you are not your beliefs. Your beliefs are, after all, just a repeated thought pattern and can be changed. He was also talking about the importance – for him – of being playful about his spiritual beliefs because this helps to remind him he is not his beliefs. Acknowledging that we each have our own truth, there is no ‘one’ truth, kind of got me stuck in that conundrum for a while. If I ‘came out’, psychically speaking, would I be rejected? And who is the ‘I’ that could be rejected? I am not my beliefs, this I can see. I think it was Esther Hicks that pointed out the need to get others to agree with us is the single cause of conflict in our world and it’s so unnecessary. What you or I believe might shape what we think, do and feel, but it’s not ‘you’ or ‘me’. I then began to wonder whether this ability to turn up the dial on my intuition was ‘me’. Well, it’s a gift, but does a gift define ‘me’? It still didn’t feel like the whole answer. If I take a broader perspective, acknowledging it’s within the confines of my own beliefs, if we are all one energy coming into and out of form, then ‘me’, the one writing this now, is simply a point of focus until this body stops breathing. Like a wave on the ocean. Therefore the “I’ or the ‘me’ who was realizing my psychic ability, can’t really be rejected, only the idea of it can be rejected. As I shared some stories with my parents on how this was unfolding, ‘coming out’ as you might call it, they rejected the whole idea, yet - strangely - I didn’t feel rejected. After some initial feelings of defensiveness and frustration, I asked “do I feel rejected?” and can honestly say that, no, I don’t, I still feel loved. I think this idea of who “I’ am, is just an intention. It’s like the wave on the ocean, perhaps a bit like a wave that finds itself on a river inlet when it had intended to break on the shore of a sandy beach, I just have a sense of what I intended for my life and whether the experience was a match to it. In my corporate guise it was not, just writing and producing articles it was not entirely either. However, when I receive and pass on messages, whether to myself or others, well, that feels more of a fit. Where the messages come from, whether they are a translation of an answer to a desire or a question a person has, or whether they are delusional, is really of no consequence. What is of consequence is whether the messages help. This is how I felt in the years preceding my own spiritual awakening when I’d connect in with my psychic remedial psychologist. I used to call her ‘my voodoo woman’ to my friends, in order to disassociate from the term psychic. Putting aside the term and any construct in her belief system, the messages resonated, so I kept listening. And so it is that I tell readers and individuals to simply take what resonates. It doesn’t really matter how you hear something, in this context or any other, if it helps, keep it; if it doesn’t, ditch it. I can’t say where any of this is going in my own life, there is so much learning and growing to be done to ever be as good at it as my psychic remedial psychologist or the likes of Esther Hicks. I don’t think I’ll be updating my title on LinkedIn to Medium anytime soon, but who knows? It’s interesting that neither of the two teachers I have named (Esther and Eckhart) have ever labeled themselves with their ability, not wanting it to stand in the way of people hearing the messages. While a crystal ball would certainly fit with the image some might conjure, translating energy can only ever apply to what is in the now – and since we each create our own energy and have free choice – we each determine our own future in the choices we make in each moment. I can only tell myself what I’d tell anyone, that when you are in touch with who you really are, and you are expressing that to the world, it can only help you to live your best life, therein making this world a better place. Have the courage to be who you are, the world needs you. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  How many things are there in your life that feel more like an obligation or a chore than a joy?
Stuff You Shouldn’t Be Doing Trusting I’m enough, instead of being the perfect parent, perfect school mum, perfect friend, perfect daughter, I could go on and on, actually requires a bigger act of trust on my part than believing that there’s something bigger than me. Yet if I believe there is something bigger than me, something powerful enough that lines up circumstances and events to bend to my desires, a trust in life that results in things always working out for me (at least in the end), it should follow that I must be worthy of these? That is a big disconnect for most of us, resulting from years of having our behaviour corrected and being told – often in well-meaning and certainly in many guises - we are not good enough. This results in many of us acting out of fear, shame and guilt, doing things we think we really should ‘if we were a good person’; I often have to stop and question these in my quest for authenticity. Right now I’m contending with the annual school fair that the parents at my kids’ school are required to run. I not only feel the pressure myself but see it in so many around me. There is so much to do to get ready for it (it’s a big community event), and too many people dancing to the beat of someone else’s drum, instead of looking at it through the lenses of what they’d like to contribute, the things that would give them satisfaction and joy. Shame and guilt feature prominently in the landscape of already overwhelmed parents. And that is just a poxy fair (not to diminish our wonderful event, but you get what I mean). It takes courage to say no, and to do that without any defense. If you are finding yourself justifying what you’re saying no to, you are still in defense mode. Practice focusing on what you can and want to do instead. I call it win-win-win giving. When you can do that it creates more space in your life for what’s truly important. Stuff You Really Should Be Doing This is about your goals and dreams, the stuff that is both big and small. Do you even know who you’d rather be and what you’d rather do beyond all those obligations you feel? Another way of asking is whether you are acquainted with the person you were born to be? Knowing who I am and what I want, truly, and feeling like that is enough or that I’m brave enough or worthy are ongoing for me. It started with a deliberate journey to authenticity, now well documented, but it continues to be something that takes practice. One of my kids’ favourite story series is about a young brother and sister who time-travel in a magic tree house. I love listening to the stories as the kids (both mine and the characters in the stories) learn so much from their missions. There have been many stories where they’ve helped famous figures in history connect in with their greatness long before it was recognised. In the one we are listening to now, Jack and Annie have gone back to a time when Florence Nightingale is a just young lady, before she ever served on the battlefields, she was an aristocrat spurned by her circle for not acting the way a lady of her breeding should, and certainly it was unthinkable that she should be a nurse. There have also been the stories of helping Wolfgang Amadeus connect in with his musical talent and Leonardo Da Vinci and Louis Armstrong and many others beside believe in themselves. While these are just fictional accounts, albeit written with great mastery, they are a great reminder that the world would have missed out on some amazing inventions, contributions and people if we were simply born to comply with other people’s expectations of us. I will continue to beat the drum of worthiness in my own ears and those of anyone who will listen. If you can trust that you are enough, and ditch any defense and time wasting crap, and trust that the universe will always find ways you can’t even think of to deliver your desires, even just some of the time, you will start to open yourself up to the best version of your life. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  I’ve always believed that – in the bigger scheme of things - things work out for all of us. Sure, we might experience pain – a lot - along the way, but certainly when I look back on my life there isn’t a single thing I’d change. Everything that has happened has ultimately benefited me in some way.
Despite that belief, I have also spent too many years trying to make things happen, feeling like I’m swimming upstream. “If it’s going to be it’s up to me”, I just didn’t realise what that actually meant. I didn’t realise that my work was to figure out what I wanted, and then to trust it would happen. I don’t mean that things would just drop into my lap, though things like that have happened from time to time, often when they are things that – while I certainly wanted them - I wasn’t so wedded to wanting them that I was dwelling on not having them. Like the time I had a salary figure in my head of $150k as being my worth in the market, and out of nowhere I got more than a $25k raise to match the salary I had in mind. I didn’t need the raise, our bills were taken care of, and I wasn’t expecting it. If I had been, I likely wouldn’t have come so easily, that is the irony of feeling needy. Or the time I imagined finding a huge shell on the beach where I usually walk, where there are soft sandy beaches and hundreds of smaller shells, and then I found a great beauty just the day after wishing for it. Or more recently, we started dreaming of a holiday in Hawaii and then were gifted one in Fiji (no need to split hairs, it was a tropical paradise minus the consumerism, so it worked out well). But often there are things I want and I do feel their lack. The big one that so many relate to was when I was trying to get pregnant, which is a whole other story of its own. Then there was coming home from that holiday in Fiji and realizing it had created a desire for more than just 6 weeks of reliably hot sunny days a year, the kind of days where you just want to flop in a pool. Interestingly the first question I get when I share that is “where would you live?” or something similar. The ‘what’, ‘where’ and ‘how’ are where trust comes in. I can spend hours researching options and trying to make things happen. I can try to reason with my partner when he says “well I’m not moving, I’ve spent so much time and effort establishing a business here.” But what’s the point in that? The answer may not be in moving, it may be in travelling more or something else I haven’t ever thought of. At this juncture, it’s just a thought, the seed of desire, I feel no urge to check anything specific out; anything I do think of feels like too much effort or not quite right. That is where I’ve pushed through in the past, if I’ve felt it important enough, making it my mission to make it happen. Yet when the timing is right and the stars are lined up, I know I’ll feel inspired to take action if it’s needed and the transformation will be relatively effortless. Too often I’ve experienced happenstance and serendipities to disregard their role in life. There was a time when trusting in life wasn’t something I was inclined to do, but a lot of years of hindsight have helped me see that things always seem to work in my favour in the end, and I wasted too much time worrying along the way. I was reading an old collection of Enid Blyton books to the kids recently, about a family with three small children who live in a caravan and have all sorts of adventures. In one book they look after another little boy throughout the summer holidays as his mum is very sick. There is a conversation between Ann (the youngest caravan child) and Benjy (the stranger) where they’re talking about saying prayers, and Benjy feels his are not really heard (by God, the Universe, whoever). Ann is shocked and says “well you can’t feel very safe then” and he replies that he doesn’t “I’m always afraid something awful is going to happen”. Trusting that life works perfectly if you go with its flow, remaining alert to the things that you feel called to, the things that inspire you, makes life so much easier and much more relaxed. My lesson now is taking this tact with the day to day things that irk me, like queues, slow traffic, fundraisers at school, the school fair (organized by parents), so many things about school! Yet if I can remember to remember that things always work out, it eases the pressure, it takes away the angst of feeling that I’m ‘needing to’ do certain things. That ties in with feels about my own self worth, another topic to explore. Trusting in life and its ability to bend to your every desire, whether relatively trivial or deeply important, takes practice – and it’s a lot easier to start in the realms of the trivial. But just make a start, the very next thing that irritates or inconveniences you (it won’t take long), just try saying “thank you” and remember to remember that things always work out. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  Before there was Earth
Before there was life There was you You are the basis of creation You are that which we are Without you, there would be no more life… You have existed here for billions of years Flowing through the air, through the earth, through the seas Through each cell of our bodies, through plants and trees You have touched our past and rain it upon our present The miracle of existence evident in your presence There is nowhere you have not been In this physical world, a life unseen Always changing, always expressing in endless ways From the dark depths of the sea to an early summer’s haze Frozen in time, with a crystalline form Running free in a river, or in the cells of a worm Eons spent in an ocean under the moon Caressing turtles as they shelter in the lagoon Entering in, flowing through, staying a while, creating the new The ocean with its gentle waves Or thundering industry on more blustery days All of it you, in your many guises Experiencing a life so full of surprises You do not discern between bad and good You give and take life in servitude The moon moves you forward and back Heat and cold changing you from excess to lack The winds move you through the night As vapor, or perhaps a cloud taking flight You surely must delight in each form that you take So many each day, with never a break You dance freely through this life never ending In awe I can sense my mind bending In your very existence you are showing There is no death, just more life unfolding This is true of us all I have no doubt We simply change form on the roundabout So versatile, so necessary to all that we are From whence you came, maybe a star Or in the mind’s eye of just the one creator It does not matter how you birthed Just that you gave life to this Earth Thank you, water Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  Don’t be dissuaded from your own true nature. But be sure to know what that is.
I heard an author talk about virtue recently, saying how undervalued, how unpopular it has become in our society. True perhaps when you look at social groups. Yet I was reflecting that it’s interesting that when looking for a mate, or to someone in authority, or to those we elect, those virtuous qualities are generally still important to us. My mother-in-law came for a visit last week and saw all the banner advertising as she drove into town, we have an impending national election here in New Zealand in the next month or so. She was telling me what a farce it’s turning into and how out of date many of the banners are already due to public scandal and resignations. Yes I live my life happily without ever watching or reading the news, why on earth would I want to track that kind of nonsense? It’s not the world I want to live in and I’m not going to fuel it by giving it my attention. I’m also not entirely sure why anyone else does? Years ago I recall a friend taunting “don’t choke on your halo Shona”, and it really upset me. Not so much because I didn’t want anyone to think I was a goody-two-shoes, I didn’t care whether they thought that or not, what I cared about was not wanting to appear sanctimonious. I’ve never seen myself as superior to anyone, nor anyone as superior to me, morally or otherwise. We can know more about certain things than each other, or have different talents or experiences, but we are all in this game of life together. One affects all. When I was a child, there was talk of our school fighting another school. I don’t know how this started, but I do know even my best friend turned up with a wrench. I was scared, not so much of getting hurt as I had no intention of being anywhere near, but that this pointless bravado would result in others getting needlessly hurt. I just knew the right thing to do was blow the whistle, so I did. I have no idea if anyone ever knew it was me, I wouldn’t have proactively told people but wouldn’t have shirked away from an answer if I had been asked, yet no one ever said anything. Now as I see even my young 6 year old in school, there’s something about a social group that seems to bring out the worst in human behaviour, all in pursuit of being popular. Why is bad behaviour so popular among a group I wonder? And why does virtue tend to lack more when people think they can get away with it? I think we generally rebel from feelings of being quashed ourselves, being indoctrined into society means being told what not to do, and rebuked for doing it, from the moment we start to interact with the world. Less than virtuous behaviour is generally our way of clawing back power, yet the irony is that the power always resides within us. Virtue is not just for the few, virtue is a quality we are born with. Yet as adults it is often proffered as an undesirable trait, naive even. No one wants to be seen as naïve, nor as overly goody-good, why not? I want people to treat me in a virtuous way, with honour and kindness. I want to live in a society that displays that in its political systems, corporations, education and healthcare. We seem to be born into this world in pretty good shape, loving, full of joy and self worth, then we become subject to the opinions of others. Why do we place so much importance on those? I understand as a youngster so much is out of our control, big people are in the driving seat, and boy we seem to do a lot of damage in a short space of time. It’s like a collective collusion to disable our next generation. In the guise of teaching what is right (which, frankly, does not need taught, only demonstrated) we seem to knock down and rebuild; rendering the adult a former shadow of the self who arrived as a baby, and more of a drone. The birth of new generations perhaps takes us inching towards a better world, but the pace is painstakingly slow, encumbered by the relentless tides of knocking each new hope’s self confidence and filling heads with utter nonsense. Wake up people. You were born to this life with a purpose, you came knowing love, self worth, knowing virtue. Love yourself enough to be virtuous . You are not powerless, you always have the choice to do the right thing, and it is never fruitless nor too late. You don’t need to take a stand against anything, you just need to take a stand for the right thing. Fighting against something, anything, is a waste of energy, it fuels the very thing you want to get away from, just focus on what you do want, and live that life. Small things, figuring out the right thing to do can sometimes perplex, especially when ‘”doing the right thing” has become somewhat of a euphemism for sacrifice. The fact is, if it doesn’t make you feel good, trust your instincts and don’t go along with it. Like this week when I was angsting about throwing a birthday party for my kids who both have birthdays coming up in the next few months. I simply don’t want to do a party for either, but both my kids love parties and want one because many of their friends have them, so I was feeling like maybe I should. In the end it took someone wiser than me to point out that it is a better thing to teach the kids to be true to themselves by being true to myself. There are plenty of things I feel inspired to do for the kids, and they don’t go short of anything really, but this is not one of those things. Each of these little dilemmas in life provides insights to our best life, and the answers are easier to find when you allow yourself a bit of space, taking regular time to fill your own cup. Try and get out into nature, take your lead from the examples all around. Despite some of the atrocities in the world, the sun keeps coming up, doing its thing. The leaves keep growing, shoots keep forming, rain keeps falling, and rivers keep flowing. Nature is not dissuaded from its true nature as we are, so it’s easier to get grounded in nature, tethering your resolve to its aspect. Look within, be virtuous, and you will be victorious in living your best life. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  I watched a rather confronting documentary about dying after a friend recommended it. Death has much to teach us about life, and I am always an interested student on that topic.
It was a western man interviewing an old friend of his, they had both travelled far from the urban life of their childhood, and over the years his friend – a wise scholar and sage – had increasingly immersed himself in traditional indigenous thinking and practices and earned the name Griefwalker for the role he played in helping people to die well. While the riddles of many of the indigenous stories are not my favoured path of learning, I understood the sentiment with which they were spoken. We shy away from death, we sanitize it and we fear it, yet it is a part of life. As a flower will bloom and then fade, so do we, each stage having its own challenges and beauty. Many barely have a grasp on life, feeling like ‘someday’ they will have their time in the sun, so death seems cruel, a punishment. Yet when my great aunt died recently, I could feel what a welcome release death has to offer when the body is both sated and weary. But she was one of a minority these days that recognise death in its approach, and welcome it in. In the documentary, a couple said farewell to their young child, who had been kept alive only by medical treatments – every treatment and surgery was exhausted and she was now being kept alive with constant blood transfusions. Griefwalker asked them whether they thought these transfusions were strengthening or depleting her, the man narrating referred to her as having joined the list of those officially not allowed to die. The couple stopped the transfusions and took their 2 year old home. And so she died well, not surrounded by machines and strangers, but by having some time out in nature, and at home in the arms of her parents. Western medicine and its approach is limited to fixing problems, but the underlying premise is that disease, injuries and death are unwelcome. Yet all have a part to play in our life here, all point to burdens we carry and can let go of if only we knew how to live well. To live well is not to fear death, but to be grateful for the life we are living, including all the things that feel bad at the time, and live it to its fullest. That includes being the fullness of who you are. Dancing to the beat of your own drum, hearing the beat of your own drum and its insights, and knowing that your dance is a good one, an amazing one that will forever change you and the people and world around you in ways unforeseen, that is the fullness of life. To cower in the shadows of others’ opinions, to remain frozen in fear or fierce in defense, that is a life not even half lived. To know that life will present you challenges but that you will handle everything as you always have and always will do, and that everything always work out for the better, that is to face life head on. Death, death is nothing but the transformation to something else. Here, in this life, you could call it transformation to a memory, or a legacy, transformation to dust. This is what many fear the most, that the memory will fall short, that the legacy – if there is one – falls far from the mark in their ideal state. The regret turns to a life half lived, dancing to the beat of another’s drum. But you, you are not dead. Yes you are dying, that is the paradox of life. If you have breath in you, you are still living and you can still find the joy that resides in being brave enough to be you, fully you, to seek your truth, to speak your truth and to feel love for yourself beyond any you feel for any other. To understand and forgive yourself for ever being unkind or feeling less than worthy, to know that you are enough and to know that there is enough for everyone to do and be anything they really want. This is life. To see the atrocities and be as thankful for those in the world as you are for the cherry blossoms and miracles that occur every day, is to have the wisdom to know that life and death, that joy and sorrow, and wellbeing and pain, are all players in the same game. Without one the other cannot exist. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  “Do you ever worry about all the suffering in the world?” the kind looking gentleman asked me after introducing his besuited grandson. These strangers stood at my door, the older man holding leaflets in his hand. “No” I replied with a smile.
“No? It doesn’t worry you?” he looked at me as if quite stunned. “No” I reaffirm, “If I worry about all the suffering, I just add more energy to it; I can’t help those suffering if I join that club of worriers.” The man looked at me, “yes I suppose that is true” he said, thrusting the leaflet in my hand. “Take this anyway” he smiled and quickly ushered away his grandson who stood a few steps behind him. “Really?” I thought “is that their angle to start a discussion about finding God?” I’ve always been one to call a spade a spade, call out the elephant in the room, but let’s not wallow in it. Call it out to dispel the fear. This week I was offered the chance to pick up the Cloud Cuckoo Palace Lego set. While the Lego Movie isn’t one my young kids are even aware of, I indulged anyway. A few years back, one of the more significant (and fun) pieces of work I ever spent time on in the corporate arena leveraged that very movie. I could call it ‘the transformation that almost was’ as it didn’t get it’s time in the sun due to – ironically – micromanagement, ego and fear. We were working on an inward culture change in order to significantly lift the morale and the customer experience, with the added benefit of efficiency. I was working with the guy who looked after about a third of all the company’s staff, mainly call centre based, he was a visionary and he too was happy to call out the elephant in the room. Emmet’s journey in the Lego Movie was such a parody of life in that part of the company, I was inspired to use clips from it edited into a video interview I did with the leader. Given the demographic of the staff and the company’s brand culture, I knew it would have great cut through. Using humour to say “we know this is what it’s like and we recognise there’s more in you and we want to make things better” was the right thing to do. While there were significant parts of the programme of transformation that did happen, like leadership assessment and development, momentum popped like a balloon as large amounts of the follow up work never got off the ground and others were swept under the carpet, the leader ‘left’ and much of the work now sits in the Philippines. So I chose Cloud Cuckoo Land, it’s much nicer. Though there is one difference, there is no “stuffing down of negative feelings” in my world, that leads to some nasty side effects. Earlier this week I was listening to some authors talking about a programme they’ve developed called “Shadow Work”. While I don’t think their video was a great introduction, a bit too much wallowing in the suffering seemed to be going on, I like the expression. Shadows are only cast in light, yet many live among them constantly. They accept the shadows as their truth, fearing that if they walk out into the sun they will be burnt. Fear is created in the minds of people and, just like in the Lego Movie, perpetuated in society, systems and government. It is perhaps a mix of well and ill intention but, regardless, fear is not welcome in Cloud Cuckoo Land. We should never be scared of the shadows, without fear they serve more to sharpen our focus on the type of person we wish to be and the type of world we want to live in. This year I have watched as someone close to me has been faced with their own shadow. A shadow common in our society, cancer. It is interesting that our bodies produce cancer cells all the time, yet in some people they can lead to such suffering at specific points in life. Years of stuffing down emotions, perhaps putting the needs of others before their own, living in fear rather than in love for ourselves, manifests as these devastating diseases. The body’s last attempt to wake us up, to relieve itself of the burdens it unnecessarily carries. For me, this translates to a different kind of shadow. In the last few years I’ve become better and more attuned to reading the energy that surrounds us. When people are looking for answers, they evoke their own solutions but often they hold themselves from those answers as they sit in fear in the shadows. When someone asks “Why me? I didn’t ask for this” I hear an answer. Often it’s not a question they have asked outright, more of an anguished cry within. So being in possession of an answer that someone hasn’t directly asked me can be weird, and I will usually share what I hear but tell them just to take what resonates. I want to help, to sooth, but when someone you love doesn’t want to hear, well, that is a shadow right there. Accepting another’s right to choose is fundamental in my book, yet the desire for me to help, to sooth, remains. I do not feel good in that shadow, but I see that it is there and it teaches me about my own choices. I do not stay in that shadow for long, I thrive in Cloud Cuckoo land and I know it’s from there the right inspiration will come to me to help ease suffering where I can. Yes there are some stinking situations in this world, yet you can still choose to live in one that focuses on magnifying the many wonderful aspects within and around us and focusing on creating more of that and wondering what can be. That world, the one that some call Cloud Cuckoo Land, is where many of our most inspired contributors have come from, from inventors to composers, artists to the various spiritual teachers upon whom world religions have become founded, and even business people and doctors and scientists. Given the choice is mostly in our own hearts and head, Cloud Cuckoo Land is the one I choose to live in anytime. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  “Do not touch that!” I screech at Jenna, looking at the pop-up that appears on my screen asking whether I really want to discard the email I had been drafting. I have a vague awareness of the crestfallen look on her face as she slinks beneath the keyboard on the desk where I am busily focused.
At this precise moment I am driven by a desire to sort out an issue with the telephone supplier, wanting to hand off the details to someone with the power to action them, before taking the kids to school. This sense of urgency I feel is conflicted with the need to fully focus on the kids at this time of day. As I press send on the email awareness returns to my surroundings. “Oh Jenna” I say, she’s still under the keyboard looking glum, “I’m sorry; mum was a bit grumpy then huh?” She slumps into my arms for a cuddle, and then I refocus on the task at hand, fleetingly thinking that perhaps I should have just left the email until later. This may seem minor in the scheme of things, and it is, but I could recount many examples in each day where I am somewhat distracted and growl at the kids, or my partner, or inwardly (mostly) to anyone else who happens to interrupt wherever my attention is focused; I like to get things done. The world of handy devices makes it so much easier to multi-task, except we aren’t actually wired to focus on more than one thing at a time. It can’t make for a very nice experience of being with me at those times I’m sure. Each week as I sit down to write these articles, it’s always to reflect and share what’s inspiring me in the moment, always linked to the lessons I’m learning. When I read them to my partner he says “they all sound the same to me, different circumstances, but you’re saying the same thing”. True, the basis of a happy life is simple, think good things, feel good things, and more good things will come to you. “Yes, “I say “I need to keep writing about it to drum it in.” The problem is, imperfection. At birth we arrive in our complete perfection, knowing it, then life (in the guise of often well-meaning people) sharpens our edges and we grow into adulthood with fears, insecurities and a lack of self worth. We humans are a bit clunky at all that for now. Loving ourselves in all our humanness is one of our biggest challenges; even knowing ourselves is a challenge. There are so many versions of us; certainly there’s the happy, inspired version and then there’s the version under stress, when we are far from our best. These days that super stressed version of me isn’t around as much as it used to be, but it certainly presents itself often enough to remind me it exists. In the past I’d likely even have lacked the awareness that I’d hurt Jenna’s feelings, the little 4-year old who just wanted some of her mum’s attention, far less apologised. It’s more likely that my mood would have spiraled in self righteous indignation at having been constantly interrupted – and included more yelling at the kids about them not being ready. We expect so much of ourselves, and certainly there’s nothing wrong for aspiring to be the best version of who you are, but you have to cut yourself a break. I find myself dwelling on the things I could have done better, then I remind myself that those things have passed, and there is zero benefit to wallowing in any bad feelings about it. Then I feel bad that I even wallowed. As I say often, I am a most imperfect being, and thank goodness because it’s taught me some valuable lessons in life, heralded some magnificent opportunities and growth and reaped many rewards in that awareness. But I am quite sure I could embrace that imperfection without the constant beat up sessions. Perfection is the aspiration, imperfection is the inspiration. Like everything else in life though, it’s about the journey, not the destination. If I am trying to get things done and other things keep getting in the way, I know enough now to see it’s actually a sign that I just need to be more present, let the other stuff go until it can have my full focus. One thing at a time. So I am thankful for this morning’s distraction and imperfect parenting moment for reminding me that I do not need to get everything done all at once. We have not transcended our humanness and become superheroes. Embracing our imperfection in this way can only help lead us to our best lives. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You. |
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