 “Once you see something from a broader perspective, there is no going back. I stand today, determined to do nothing in life if I haven’t felt the impulse to do it. Not as a favour to a friend, not out of a sense of misguided obligation to a close one and certainly not out of a fear of the consequences.”
I’m not talking about following through on the impulse to smash someone in the face, I’m talking about the impulses that pulsate through you, as surely as your heart beats, since the day you were born. It’s become the golden rule for my best life. Let’s take the face smashing example, or any other impulse that comes from anger, doubt, insecurity, shame, depression or any other shade of grey you might feel. If you are feeling bad, you simply cannot tap into the impulse I’m talking about. I’m talking about the impulses that you felt into so easily as a child, when you pulled the sheet from the bed to create the mast of a pirate ship, or the impulse to learn how to draw a flower, or ride a bike. The impulses that you slowly learn to tune out of as you get told time and again “no”, “don’t”, “listen to me, I know better.” I’m talking about the impulses you feel in your gut or your heart when you have to make a decision, or the ones you felt when you met the love of your life, or the person who turned out to be quite the opposite. These are quite different to the anxiety you feel when your head starts rationalizing things out and introducing fear into the equation, the “what if…” stuff. Listen inwardly. You were born with intentions for your life, along the way you have unwittingly discerned what you truly want and don’t want as you have been exposed to more and more of life’s experiences. What I mean by that is, there is a background programme running in your system, every time you’ve experienced what you don’t want, you feel bad, and your background system has noted it; likewise when you feel good. This background system is your truth, it’s the part of you that ultimately knows what you want and don’t want. You can’t usually hear it in your head, the subconscious programming that happens in early childhood generally rules your thought patterns. For example, you might have seen your parents repeatedly fighting over something when you were little; so your subconscious mind determines that particular thing is therefore bad, or that relationships are bad. Your background programming however, the one you connect to through your gut feelings or your heart space, it just knows that fighting is fruitless. It has the same experience as the mind but, instead of interpreting those early scenes of parent’s fighting as you wanting to avoid money or bad relationships, it knows that what you truly want is harmony. Sadly, from childhood we often get taught to ignore our feelings, and rationalise things out in our head. So many simply tune out of their impulses and learn too late (when their business fails, or their relationship breaks down) that they should have listened to their instincts earlier. When I left my corporate role almost two years ago, I left with a steely determination to tune in and figure out who I really am, what I really like and what I really want out of life. Along the way I have shared a lot of my insights through these articles, but I can tell you from where I stand today, happy with my life, that steely determination has taken root. Once you see something from a broader perspective, there is no going back. I stand today, determined to do nothing in life if I haven’t felt the impulse to do it. Not as a favour to a friend, not out of a sense of misguided obligation to a close one and certainly not out of a fear of the consequences. That might seem selfish, and it is, that is healthy. It’s important to know there really is no need for anyone to be different for you to have all that you want in life – and vice versa, you don’t need to change or do anything to make others happy if it doesn’t make you happy. When you do more of the things that do make you happy, you’ll start to experience the impulses that come. These lead to something more, more enriching, more fulfilling than trying to control all the people and circumstances around you out of a false sense of how things ‘should be’ as a parent, spouse, child, employee, leader, coworker etc. Impulses aren’t usually grand, they’re subtle. One day you might just follow an impulse to stop and have a coffee somewhere and that leads to a brief exchange with someone who expands your thinking a little, and you leave feeling uplifted. That puts you in the path of a conversation you might not otherwise have had with a client you were going to see, and opportunity’s door opens. That is how impulses work, always guiding you in some subtle ways to your best life. Drop all that societal conditioning about what you should do, not that it is an easy task, it requires focus. Understand that unwinding the clock to those early years (when, as a child, your impulses got thwarted at every turn) is not actually feasible, but you can neutralize the effects by becoming aware of it. Whatever contract you are under, whether by state, employer, marriage or otherwise culturally implied as ‘socially acceptable’, there is no greater contract you have than to be who you are rather than what anyone else thinks you should be. If you have any doubts about his, listen to those nearing the ends of their life, the number one biggest regret people have is just that. More than that, listen to your inner feelings, what has resonated here? What is your truth? Take root, stand as you are, let all that you are not drop away, and let your impulses lead you to your best life. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. You can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.
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 Not a human on this planet is the same as another, nor ever has been. Each of us is as unique as a snowflake, yet we desperately want to be seen as part of the snow.
Look at newborns, they come into the world and know just how amazing they are, they are full of self love. Not for one minute would it occur to a newborn that they weren’t worthy of the attention they absolutely need and get. That was you, once upon a time. You knew your worth, you knew you had love and you simply radiated it. Then you started to become aware of the world, and the world - at a time when you were young, vulnerable and completely dependent on the adults around you - gave you messages that maybe you weren’t so great after all. I write a lot about the power of our subconscious mind, and how the roots of it are formed in our early years through impressions rather than words. For example, a child who is repeatedly corrected for their behaviour, however well meaning, may take from that a message that says “I’m not good enough” or “love is conditional”. These messages form your belief system and attract experiences like magnets throughout the years, reinforcing your beliefs. You may not even be aware of your own beliefs, they just sit there quietly in the background guiding around 90% of your 60-70,000 thoughts each day, and thus your experiences in life. Once you become aware of these self limiting beliefs however, what can you do about them? It’s your job is to release them, but you can’t do that by putting more focus on them. So, flip that belief and see what thought it gives you. For example, this week I was at a school parent’s evening. The teacher invited interruptions at the outset, her preference was to address questions as they arose. I enjoyed the topics she was talking about, I have a keen interest in child development as you can tell. As is typical for me I had a constant stream of questions and observations that would continually well to the surface. However, again as is typical for me, I began to feel self conscious as there were few others who would speak up or join in, and I didn’t want to dominate the conversation. Being aware is a first step. Sure, I do want to allow others space to speak but I often hold back for fear of standing out. So I took my own advice, knowing that the questions and observations I was making were from a good feeling place, and flipped my belief. I thought, what if people are interested in what I have to say? Well that thought certainly felt better. Then I started to think about examples in my life that support that new belief, it soon became apparent that I’ve been holding back from fully expressing myself for years because of a self limiting belief. Suddenly I realised the obvious (which will be really obvious to those who know me well), I love to talk, to question, to share. I’m a speaker, as much as I am a writer and a student of life. Some of you who have heard me speak to an audience will think that is indeed really obvious. Being confident to speak when you have external permission is one thing, but giving yourself permission is really where it starts. I have no idea where that subconscious belief started; it may just have been born out of early more generic beliefs about not being good enough. Then I saw a caption on a post from Collective Evolution, it said “If you feel you don’t fit into this world, it is because you are here to create a new one”, I really liked that, it deeply resonated. If you don’t feel like you fit in, great! It means you are probably more tuned in to your inner self than the people around you. You are special, not because others aren’t, but because you are more aware of your uniqueness than others. Each person, as a unique snowflake, has the potential to change and evolve our world in ways we can’t yet collectively imagine. Just look back over the last half century at the evolution that we have undertaken when it comes to things like gay rights, the fall of the iron curtain and the Apartheid regime. These shifts start with one person, then another and so on. For me, the conversation with an old boss that I mentioned in my last post was pivotal. As I evolved in my own career, unwinding back customer experience transformation to the people and culture that deliver it, I just knew that the key is in unlocking people’s passion and potential. I commented that it would be awesome to take the hundreds of people who worked for us and help them find and grow into their passion, profits would soar. While I don’t remember the response verbatim, it went along the lines of “Most of these people wouldn’t really even follow what you are talking about, let alone know their passion.” But there it was, the next phase of my career, following the path to the root of the issue. I know many companies have spent vast sums on programmes designed to do just that, to unlock passion and potential, and I know exactly why they have not really succeeded – it requires intrinsic change in people all across the organisation, starting with the Chairman of the Board or the CEO. You can read more about that in my past business articles listed here. Finding your own passion is a deep journey, dare I even say a spiritual one. It’s certainly not one of the mind, no matter how many ‘tests’ you take or books you read. Passion is about feeling, the language of the soul. The mind, as I stated at the outset of this article, is the thing that clouds your passion as you second guess and talk yourself out of your uniqueness. As excited and focused as I was in finding my own passion, the implications for helping others do just that for themselves are amazing. Imagine the world we can create in the next 50 years if more and more people come to find their passion and awaken to a life worth really living? As Dr Suess said, “Why Fit in When You Were Born to Stand Out”. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. You can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  The single biggest factor in determining whether you will live a dream life is your belief in whether you can. I say “a dream life” rather than “your dream life” deliberately, because most of us don’t even dare to dream the kinds of dreams that are possible.
You might be able to point to heavenly holidays, idyllic relationships and dream lifestyles, you might even have put together vision boards and begun to visualize these things, but they mean squat if you don’t actually believe you can have them. I remember back in 2008 visiting the Australian Zoo, run by the Irwin Family, and the thought struck me that Steve Irwin, nicknamed ‘The Crocodile Hunter’, had lived and died doing something he was completely passionate about. The idea of getting paid to do something you love, something that was so different from the everyday work world I was part of, opened a door to possibility within me. I began to look around, the world is filled with people doing things ‘out of the norm’. The simple fact is that you can get paid for anything in life that adds value. Aside of the more traditional creative endeavors you might think of (like gardening, writing, painting and cooking) there are people being paid to move icebergs and dress elephants; there are even professional bridesmaids, mourners and cuddlers! It may be that you have begun to realise some of your dreams, or have had past successes, and then just when you are starting to ‘live the dream’ you sabotage it in some way. But for many people they are simply unaware of their dreams. My world, when I worked in corporate roles, was filled with people who came to work for a pay check and perhaps a bit of social life. I remember a conversation with an old boss, who was quite visionary, as we contemplated on the future of the call centre, “can you imagine” I said, “if we gave these (hundreds) of people free reign to choose, and support to grow into, roles they were truly passionate about?” This is the world I want to live in. A world where people are tuned in to who they are and what they want in life, a world where people believe it’s possible to have anything they can imagine, because they can. All that, but for one thing – a limiting belief. In other words you don’t think you can. Even if it’s possible for others Earlier in the week I was listening to an online seminar about the self limiting beliefs we have. When the speaker asked if any of us had ever felt that, as kids, we needed to behave perfectly all the time in order for the people around us to feel happy, or if we had constantly received feedback on what we could be doing better, it resonated. Others might have felt their accomplishments and achievements were ignored or that their siblings or friends were rewarded when they weren’t (but felt they deserved to be). In those early years we soak things up like sponges, and not through the words being used. As parents, it’s usually in our well meaning, our desire to teach our children the ‘right’ ways to behave, that we inadvertently communicate “you are not good enough”. There are many versions of this playing in people’s minds, like “if I try, I’ll fail” or “no one will want me”, but they all add up to some version of “I’m not worthy”. And over the years they have, like magnets, attracted many stories and examples through your experience to back these thoughts up, to strengthen them into subconscious beliefs. There are many ways to overcome these, but it starts with being aware that these subconscious beliefs are there. It is not important that you uncover the root of your unworthiness, in fact, once you are aware of it, it’s more important that you pay as little attention to it as you can. The more attention you pay something, the more energy you are feeding it. Instead, use this principle in your favour. Start to create new beliefs, ones that serve you better. Start with “I am worthy” and list as many examples as you can think of about the great things that are in your life, or have happened in the past. There are many ways to create new beliefs; it’s a question of finding a technique that works for you. A belief is just a thought that you keep thinking. It will take time to foster a new belief, and it will require focus, like anything new you learn. Right now, I’m fostering some new beliefs about money and, in addition to the technique I shared in the last article, I now spend some focused time each day tending to that small flame within, the flame born of hope and possibility. Once you’ve identified a new belief you want to foster, surround yourself with supportive people. Like giving up smoking, or losing weight, it’s hard to go in a new direction if you are surrounded by naysayers. These days it’s easy to find people of similar interests online if there’s no one immediately obvious in your life. However, once you start to practice your new belief, you will soon attract more like minded people to support you and help you gain momentum. So what beliefs do you hold about yourself that are holding you back from living your best life? What are the dreams within you that would enrich your life and that of those around you? I hope you will look within for the answers because it’s the kind of world I’m sure we all want to live in. It starts with you, just believe you can. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. You can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  I get a lot of emails about techniques to attract more money into my life and I ignore them. It’s not that I don’t want more money, or that I don’t believe these techniques could work, it’s that attracting more money has never really made it to the top of my list of goals in life.
Believe me, it’s in the mix, it’s just that when I compare it with my other goals, and I imagine a life without the other things I want versus the money, it’s way down the pecking order. I guess I’ve always felt like, in the scheme of things, my needs would be taken care of. Yet, no matter how much money I have earned (and I’ve earned a lot) it never seems enough. So I had a bit of an ‘ah ha’ moment as I was listening to someone talk about their worry over paying the bills. I realised that, while money isn’t in my top 5 things to focus on, and while I inherently believe everything works out in life, I still have a lot of chatter in my head that is keeping money from coming in. Phrases like “cut your coat to suit your material” and “money doesn’t grow on trees” were part of my childhood. I grew up knowing that my parents worked hard for what they got, and that it was always just enough to pay the bills. Meanwhile science is finally catching up to the fact that we are all energy, and our thoughts – and the feelings they perpetuate – act like magnets for the things we want (or don’t want) in our life. As I said to my daughter after we visited an exhibition about earthquakes that made her worry, if you worry, the universe sends you something to worry about. Chances are, you’ll never experience an earthquake, so it’s best to focus on things that make you feel good, so the universe will send you more of the good stuff. Yet at home my partner and I often send our children messages about the cost of things, the roots planted in our own subconscious in our early years, conveying a sense of lack. There have been many times when our youngest daughter shows us in no uncertain terms that she feels no such lack (as she wastes this or that). We have had a habit of chastising her, but what message does that send – that she too should deny the abundance she most naturally feels? However it can be hard to feel abundant when you have to face the stark realities of paying a bill and there’s not enough money in the bank. Especially since we are so used to letting what we observe dictate how we feel. Yet it’s the opposite approach that works in our favour. You don’t even need to feel good about the specific thing you want in order to get it, so long as you are not feeling bad about it or other things either. There’s the rub. While I might feel like everything works in my favour in the end, and so I don’t get overly motivated to “make a million” or some such goal, there are daily moments when I am creating conflicting energy in my relationship with money because of my contradictory thoughts. Ah ha! The question is what to do about it. Here’s the stark reality, if your finances are not where you want them to be, there’s some subconscious beliefs that are getting in your way and it’s time to create stronger, more self-serving ones…
When I started to look at some of my beliefs, and wrote them down, it started to get to the heart of where the glitches (let’s call them) in my subconscious are. It’s not like these thoughts are loud and clear, they haven’t gotten that bad yet that they are consciously screaming at me. Though getting a migraine after doing the monthly bills is probably a major signpost. I wrote my thoughts down because it’s the most focused form of thinking; otherwise thoughts stream through my head like there are on fast-moving, simultaneously flowing, conveyor belts that I can’t ever quite grasp. Leaving behind a regular paycheck can be scary because suddenly you are thrust into a world where you can’t always see where the money is going to come from right at this very second. So I started there, I wrote “I worry about having enough money to pay the bills next month”. Then, taking a lead from the advice I’d just given my daughter about the universe sending you more to worry about, I flipped it. If that was what I didn’t want, what do I want I thought….”not to have to worry about money”. Mm, still a bit too much of a ‘worry’ feeling in there, so I stole a phrase I heard recently in an Abraham-Hicks conversation “I want make choices in my life based on what I truly desire (not what I can afford)”. In itself, that achieved very little, so I continued along the vein I’d heard Esther Hicks talk about. I started to pull out thoughts I already have that match that. There were many. I started to recall the many ‘big’ decisions I’d made in life that money could have had a bearing on, had I let fear dictate the decision: whether to be in certain relationships, whether to emigrate and whether to have children – or have more children. I got on a roll, realizing it really doesn’t even affect many of my day to day decisions. Then I hit a hot button, I realised that while I hadn’t let fears about money get in the way of most of my big life decisions, I had let it have a big bearing when it came to which career to pursue. So I started again, I wrote “I need to do something in order to earn money”, then I flipped it… “Money comes with ease”. Again, I found many examples of this that I’ve experienced in my life: generous gifts from relatives, redundancy packages, rising equity in property, rising investments and savings, bonuses and unexpected rises in pay or tax rebates. The list went on, and then I realised how aware I am of the many other ways money can flow to people that I haven’t yet experienced, like big wins and inheritances. Then I hit another hot button, residual income. Years ago, when I ran my own business, I learned a lot about the risks involved and knew I had uncovered something. Heaps of thoughts started to flow – negative, scary thoughts – like “it takes 2 to 5 years to make money in business, and most fail in that time”, “you have to sell, sell, sell in business”, “only the lucky few artists (in the broadest sense of all creative endeavors) ever make it” So I tried to take the essence of all those thoughts and flip them, I got to “I can pursue my heart’s desire and money will flow easily”. This time I struggled to come up with matching thoughts that I already have. Sure, I know there are successful writers, speakers, artists, musicians and so on, and I know enough of those stories to know instant success isn’t the norm. I also know enough about how this stuff works, the process of rebuilding my beliefs, to know that they won’t change when they don’t sit right. Time to get more general I realised; what if I separate out pursuing my heart’s desire from money flowing with ease? I was already comfortable that money can flow in many ways other than a paycheck, or things like royalties or income from affiliates, so I set that aside. I focused on my heart’s desire, which right now involves pondering life’s big questions through my writing. Then I captured some of the negative thoughts I have, like articles not getting published in more public streams because of changes in algorithms, or because it’s not the right platform, and I wrote “there are people who are eagerly awaiting the content I publish”, and got on a roll (thanks to all those who have hit ‘like’, commented, shared and connected with over this last year). That took me into the territory of one of my goals, to become an accomplished author, which for me is about knowing my writing resonates with people, feeling like it makes a difference. With that I felt satisfied I was back on track after the wobble I had about money. All in all, while looking at your relationship with money can provide some valuable insights, what you really want to make sure is that you are soothing any feelings about ‘lack’ in order to allow more. Knowing what you want is one thing, but believing you can have it is where the work is. That starts with getting on good terms with what’s happening in your life right now, the stuff that smacks you in the face each day. If you find you are constantly resisting ‘what is’, try out this process and see if it can’t remove some barriers for you, make you feel a bit better about where you are. That, ultimately, is always your aim; to feel good about right now, to allow more of the good stuff into your life. Go on, give it a try. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. If we’re not already connected, just fill in your name and email at the top of the blog page to subscribe to my newsletter.  Those who feel offended
Realise it’s not intended So let us begin to frame… the answer, that will become clear To those that are looking for it here God has become a word For a concept that’s absurd That there is separation between Thee and Me The idea that we are not connected Is being outright rejected If you take a closer look You’ll see that no one got forsook Imagine we are all here Each and every one held dear All part of one Each thing, bar none Like a wave, part of the sea That is a good analogy The wave comes Then it is gone But the sea rolls on “I can’t be connected to that person over there You don’t know me, how do you dare?” Take a closer look and see It’s just another wave, part of the sea “If I’m connected why do I feel so alone?” Cause it’s what you get taught, in society if not at home The tap turned off, you are stuck in your mind Every thought within You will find Was planted there in your early years By people who held only fears Fear of you getting hurt Not fitting in or coming unstuck They meant well, instead sent you to hell Turned off from your inner knowing Frustration all the while growing What about that guy? He’s a nut Not as a newborn, he was love His acts towards others are a cry from the dirt It’s easy to judge others when you’re not in their shoes If you knew their story, it would give you the blues Doesn’t mean you would go the same way You’re a different expression, moulded from the same clay When you feel good, you are open wide People smile back You get a bounce in your stride When you’re in that place And you allow in Grace You feel love for everyone in this place “What does all this have to do with God?” You are it, and you ain’t no fraud Everything is just one thing Ding-a-ling Call it what you like, infinite intelligence, God, source, or just energy It’s all that is everything, from land to the sea From the cosmos to you and me So if we are all one, what is the point? To have some fun while you’re kicking around this joint If you make it your mission to feel good Things will start to flow to you Just like they should Be as one and you will see Nothing works for or against you Like your energy Get in flow and you will know You are it So what are you waiting for? Let’s go Not my usual style as regular readers will know, but it came to me so I went with it - perfect for a rap artist! If we’re not already connected, just fill in your name and email at the top of the blog page to subscribe to my newsletter. I’d love for you to comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly - shona@shonakeachie.com - I'm always happy to help. |
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