Awkward Social Conversations About Your Beliefs

At a family gathering recently a late night conversation turned to the question about what happens when you die. The question wasn’t asked of me directly, but our small group started sharing views in the zealous way people do when alcohol has lowered their inhibitions.

I remained quiet, not really enjoying the conversation particularly. My partner listened for a while and then prodded me “I’m surprised you’re not joining in” he said, as everyone listened, “this is right up your alley”. He started to add his views about us being energy and said perhaps the others should read my articles. It was awkward and I said nothing.

Here’s why. For a start, my core belief is that there is no one truth, I believe each person has their own truth, “each to their own” as the expression goes. Expounding my own beliefs is fine if someone is genuinely interested, genuinely searching for answers and seeking inspiration in the experiences I’ve had. But then, that is why I share my experiences in these blogs, for those who are interested.

From the conversation that had already taken place, and from what I already knew of the family, it was obvious to me that he and I were probably the only ones there who believe we are all eternal consciousness, non-physical at our essence, having a physical experience as humans. It was also obvious to me that no one was really looking to hear about my experiences, they simply wanted to state their beliefs.

The reason I hadn’t been enjoying the conversation was its limitation; the limitations it infers of us as humans. Our general lack of awareness as a society of the vast powers of our consciousness is something I view as a sad state of affairs. I don’t want to dwell on that, I don’t want to give any energy to it by pushing against it; I’d rather just continue to strive to live life to its fullest potential and share that with others who are interested.

Besides, how on earth do I put into one or two sentences (which, in a setting like that, is all you get if you are lucky) the current answers I have to the questions I’ve been seeking answers to for more than half my life. What happens when we die? What is the meaning of life? What is life? What is our human potential? As I say, these are all questions I’ve actively explored for years, it’s an enormous field of study. It’s not just something I give thought to now and again.

Sure, the science of consciousness has moved far beyond many of the current views of the world’s residents, and anyone who checked out the latest research and findings in the realms of neuroscience and epigenetics would have cause to reevaluate some of their beliefs. However, most just aren’t that interested.

Why push a boulder uphill? And why try and persuade anyone to your point of view? Isn’t that the single cause of conflict on this planet? Isn’t that where religion fails? At the end of the day, we each have an opinion and only that.

As I shared recently in Why the Big Questions are Important, when I was talking to someone about life, existence and human potential, he acknowledged the probability of ‘something more’ because of the astounding perfection found in nature, but felt it was fruitless to pursue it as nothing could be proven.

My response to that is it can be proven, but only by yourself - through your own experience. And to have mind-expanding experiences, you generally have to be seeking them to be open to them. It doesn’t matter what our science can now tell us, you need to have the experiences to believe them.
As part of the same gathering, in a more sober state, the topic of my daughter’s ear infection came up. We happened to be flying in next week and so it was asked whether she was on antibiotics to make sure she’d be okay.

All the same emotions and thoughts came up for me then as they did when discussing what happens when you die. To most they are not related, to me everything is related.

Here are the thoughts that went through my head. Our bodies are perfect, they are far superior to anything man has ever constructed or dreamed about. They are most certainly capable of (and intended to) heal themselves. We are at a point as a society where we know antibiotics (like most synthetic medicines) kill not just the germs that are harmful, but those that are helpful, we generally all now also believe they are over-prescribed and the germs they were intended for are becoming resistant – and this is just in a matter of a few decades of use. 

Yet, in fear, many turn to them at the slightest hint of an infection.

Here is what I had done about my daughter’s ear infection. I first contemplated the emotional cause, for the body in its perfection uses illness to teach us what we need to learn in order to be healthy. It’s common for children to have earache because of the constant moralizing of adults – she had it at the end of the last school term too (though I don’t exempt myself from the choir that is preaching).

Then I had my daughter’s ears physically checked, indeed flying with earache is not just undesirable, it would be a dumb risk for me to take with her hearing. We could see there was fluid in her Eustachian tube. The fluid needed to be drained as it creates pressure on the ear drum, which can be done by blowing your nose regularly and using a nasal spray with just saline or something else natural, along with steam inhalations.

If the fluid becomes infected it can become painful, and the body might need some help. Antibiotics have been shown to be effective in only 1 in 9 cases of earache like this (though you can find evidence to support or refute this, but it sounded about right to me personally). I have a preference for energy medicines, homeopathy in particular, and chose Merc Dulc for the job.

Within hours the pain (that had become debilitating for her, along with the fever and vomiting) subsided. The next day the pain was gone entirely, the day after her appetite was back, and now the regular nose spray/ blowing sessions are revealing there is no infection and little fluid.

Her body, in its perfection, has healed itself.

So, what did I say when asked if I’d given her antibiotics? Just that I didn’t think it was necessary or would have been effective. This was enough to kill the conversation in truth, because it lay at the opposite end of the spectrum from the questioner’s beliefs and they did not want to get into an argument. If the topic had come up again in more general terms, I would have just ignored it as I did the question about what happens when you die.

Many of us feel awkward when faced with these questions, and we can feel awkward not answering, but it can get very awkward if you end up disagreeing or arguing about your opinions. What wasted energy, for they really are only opinions after all. So when faced with these awkward social situations I think the best thing to do is just to respond as I started here, with “each to their own”.

On the other hand, when people are more open or accepting, even if they don’t share your beliefs, it can be inspirational and uplifting. What is by far the most inspirational tact to take, is to simply live your own truth, and let others awaken to their own potential as life leads them to it.

I’ve found the best approach in social situations is to turn away from the awkward subjects and lean into the ones in which you have more common ground; it make the whole experience a lot better.
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