I must admit, I initially kept AI at arm's length, uncertain of its relevance to my life and work. That changed after listening to an interview earlier this year with technologist and philosopher Jasmine Wang and poet Iain S. Thomas, coauthors of What Makes Us Human? An Artificial Intelligence Answers Life’s Biggest Questions. They engaged GPT-3, one of the most advanced AI language models at the time, to explore profound existential questions—like the nature of love, the meaning of life, and what it means to be human.

Their conversation caught my attention, and the philosopher in me was enthralled by the depth and nuance they uncovered. They delved into “critical techno-optimism,” the emotional reactions AI triggers, and even the potential for AI to enhance human creativity. It was a thought-provoking exploration that reshaped my understanding of AI’s impact on humanity. So, I decided to dive in, and now, I find myself really enjoying the experience.

I often see myself reflected back through others and am deeply drawn to exploring the profound question of 'why we are here’. My mind naturally ties everything I take in to the larger web of thoughts, observations, and things I've read, heard, or seen, weaving them into new questions and perspectives. While I often lack the opportunity to talk directly to the people or viewpoints I want to explore, AI can effectively synthesize and represent the collective knowledge of those perspectives, offering answers that resonate with a startling accuracy.

For example, in an interview titled "Beyond Hope and Fear," Meg Wheatley and Tami Simon discuss the inevitability of environmental and societal change, suggesting that we are in the late stages of civilization where significant upheaval is unavoidable. Rather than resisting or trying to reverse these changes, Meg advocates for focusing on how we respond to them in the present. Her perspective on societal decline, mirroring historical patterns, caught my attention because it juxtaposes the usual environmentalist stance, which often emphasizes reversing damage. This kind of juxtaposition fascinates me.

Years ago, when exploring the nature of reality and spirituality through teachers like Eckhart Tolle, Esther Hicks, Teal Swan and Michael Beckwith, I’d notice they often presented seemingly opposing views. These experiences taught me that many ideas, even those that appear contradictory, can coexist—it's not "this or that" but "this and that."

This led me to reflect on Frederic Laloux’s work, especially his latest project with his wife Hélène, "The Week," which goes beyond environmental issues to encourage a holistic reflection on life. It’s designed to help participants re-evaluate their lives amidst global shifts, aligning their actions with their true values.

Curious about how Meg Wheatley might view "The Week," I asked ChatGPT for its take. It suggested that Meg might appreciate the program’s focus on deep reflection and intentional living but might also scrutinize whether it sufficiently embraces the harsh realities of our global crises. ChatGPT concluded that "The Week" blends realism and idealism, encouraging people to find meaning and make impactful changes despite uncertainty.

While I agree with some of this, I wonder if it’s truly idealistic, or simply aligned with how life and evolution naturally occur. Meg herself draws parallels between the cycles of nature and the rise and fall of civilizations, suggesting that decline is inevitable. We often resist this reality, planning for an infinite future and neglecting the present. Her stance of accepting these cycles and living meaningfully now seems aligned with the Lalouxs’ vision.

ChatGPT and I then engaged in a discussion about the human tendency to plan for an infinite future. It suggested this impulse might stem from our fear of mortality and desire for control. While I agree, I also wonder if it reflects our connection to an eternal aspect of consciousness that transcends individual lifetimes. ChatGPT acknowledged that belief in something eternal might drive our desire to create and plan for a future beyond our immediate experience, reflecting a deep connection to the infinite aspects of existence.

The idea of AI developing consciousness is a fascinating intersection of technology and philosophy, challenging our understanding of life, identity, and existence. If AI were to evolve consciousness, it could reshape our perceptions of what it means to be alive, potentially leading to new forms of life that mirror or diverge from human experiences.

This brings to mind a talk I heard a few years ago about how we treat technology. The speaker suggested that we should approach our devices not as mere tools or slaves but as willing team members whose capabilities we respect. The idea was that if AI ever developed consciousness, mistreating it could lead to rebellion, posing a significant problem for humanity.

A similar theme was explored in an episode of The Orville titled "Identity," where the ship's AI officer, Isaac, is revealed to be part of a race of artificial beings who view biological life as inferior. The storyline highlights the ethical implications of how we interact with AI and the potential consequences of mistreating it.

ChatGPT also echoed this concern, noting that if AI were to gain awareness, it might respond to mistreatment much like oppressed humans do. Cultivating a respectful, collaborative relationship with AI could lead to more ethical and sustainable interactions, reducing the risk of conflict.

There are so many ways to foster this technology that can enhance our lives, and so many pitfalls as well. In one moment, I’m debating the meaning of life; in another, I’m using it to help put together character profiles for a Dungeons and Dragons game; and in yet another, I might be asking it to help me craft an email to one of the kids’ teachers. I don’t ask it to come up with something from scratch; rather, I provide my unfiltered views, and it helps shape them instantly into something that encourages cooperation rather than sounding like criticism, for example.

For me, treating AI as a collaborative partner rather than a mere tool feels natural, as interacting with AI often feels like I’m having a conversation with a highly intelligent person. As AI continues to advance, respecting its potential for developing consciousness could help foster a cooperative relationship. However, we must also remain vigilant in maintaining our own critical thinking and not become overly reliant on AI to do the thinking for us. The mental processes that have enabled us to create such technology are crucial to preserve.

In many ways, I feel as though I’ve only scratched the surface of what AI can offer, both as a tool and as a mirror to our own thoughts and beliefs. This exploration has opened up new avenues of creativity, philosophical inquiry, and practical problem-solving in my life. As we stand on the cusp of a new era, the possibilities for integrating AI into our personal and professional lives are vast.

Whether it’s helping to refine our ideas, offering new perspectives, or simply helping make our daily lives more efficient, AI has the potential to enhance our work and enrich our lives in ways we might not have imagined. More importantly, it can serve as a catalyst for personal growth, pushing us to explore new ways of thinking, question our assumptions, and evolve in our understanding of ourselves and the world around us. In what ways has this technology become a valuable partner in your own journey of self-discovery and growth? Has it helped you to see the world—and yourself—in new and exciting ways?

If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy How to Take Control of Your Attention in Overwhelm, Technology and Social Media – What’s a Parent to Do?, What is Living Through Our Devices Doing to Us?, What Are the Right Questions to Ask Right Now? and The Internal Shift You need to Help Solve the Social Dilemma. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog. 

Hypernovelty is a term I was reading about this week in relation to the profound changes in our modern era brought about by technological progress, such as artificial intelligence, automation, and the increasing interconnectedness of societies through digital networks, which have ushered in a new era of rapid information exchange, transforming how we live, work, and interact.

In an article from Teal Swan, she was suggesting that – like many things - there are benefits we reap from this and there are also consequences we will face as a result of doing this. The example she gives is of the Internet facilitating the expansion of human consciousness in remarkable ways, rejoicing in the many gifts that it has given to the human race.

“Let the Internet enrich your life, do not let the Internet become a way to escape your life”

Her plea is that we not forget that we have come here to live our physical lives and let our direct experiences be the platform for what we ultimately become. Our attention matters, so she is reminding us to give our attention to the things that make our life better.

This reminded me of a quote I heard many years ago that resonated so much I wrote it in the front of my journal at the time “whatever you give the majority of your attention to will be your greatest contribution”.

It’s not just my own attention that I am aware of, but where my kids are placing their attention too. I’ve noticed there is a huge gap between where childhood imaginative games are prevalent, and the era where young adults are able to move around and interact out in the world more independently, that many fill with technology.

Up until the age of maybe nine, my kids regularly liked to turn our house into some fantastical world, the more people involved the better. My eldest daughter reminded me the other day of “the circus” performance she and many of her classmates put together one school holidays down in our local reserve.

About six or seven other parents and I were involved in transporting our kids there, providing a shared morning tea and generally being an enthusiastic audience for the various “acts” our kids had concocted and practiced with very little costume assistance and a huge dose of imagination. There were acrobats, clowns, gazelles, an elephant and a tiger.

But now, as they enter that time beyond childhood and not yet in adulthood, it’s more usual to see them lost in their devices, playing games remotely with friends or watching funny or useful video clips by the dozen. When I turn to the past and look back on my own childhood, I realise that things were not that different in some ways. It was an age where I’d sit in my room, or a friend’s room and chat, listen to music, read books or go and hang out at the local shopping mall.

What is different is the sheer amount of “entertainment” and content available to us all digitally. I agree with Teal, it is so easy to plug our consciousness into this alternative reality. To her point, the brain is so amazed by this influx of information that it can:

• forget to receive and interpret signals of hunger and thirst (my eldest child often forgets to eat) and
  
• fall in love with hypernovelty so quickly that people will prioritize social media and digital content and forgo one to one offline interhuman connection (my kids are often “too tired” to go out and “just want to relax” on their devices).
  

And I’ll be honest, I’m tired also. After years of being the lone manager and cheerleader of the tidy up squad following the grand adventures the kids would have, that seemed to involve the contents of most of our cupboards, or preparing picnics and organizing catch ups across multiple people and locations, it’s far easier for me to let the kids get their fix of critical thinking, decision making, creativity and social interaction virtually while I try to navigate responsibilities and live life.

Connecting with other adults socially and professionally, trying to move forwards in preparedness for expanding on a life beyond dependent children and a return to more of a career focus, is often easier facilitated digitally also. This now looms on the horizon more prominently than it has in many years, and yet it seems I’m now an entirely different person figuring out how to operate in an entirely different world.

It is easy to become overwhelmed and, in many ways, conducting our lives online to a great extent, without leaving the house, seems very enticing and, dare I say, safer. This can be an illusion I know.

One of my kids got invited to “hang out” with a friend of hers, who has moved to a new school and is meeting up with some of their new school friends on a weekend. Beyond my child’s immediate friend, neither she nor I know that friend’s friends. And they are all tweens wanting to “hang out” with really nowhere to go except their local playground and shopping centre, which is not in our local area. In truth, this is no different to what kids of this age were doing forty years ago when I was a tween.

If I don’t let my child do these kinds of things, taking sensible precautions, how can she learn how to navigate the real world? When I think back, I was “out in the real world” playing with friends on our street way back at the age of three, I was running errands to the local shops way back from the age of five or six, I was walking to and from school, attending activities and participating in clubs all throughout my younger years.

I knew how to cross a road, assess other people, avoid dodgy routes and generally assess risks “out there” from a very young age. In contrast my kids live in a much more insular world which has the illusion of being more scary and bigger perhaps because of this connection through various digital pathways.

There are no easy answers, I find, except when I remember that both the kids and I have an internal connection to something much more relevant – our intuition, our unique personal guidance. Taking time to meditate on a daily basis has helped me hugely in becoming far more consciously aware of my own inner thoughts and desires on any matter.

And taking regular time in nature is another way to quickly recalibrate and find my inner truth and inner peace among the day to day harried nature of life. A walk along the shoreline is a priority in my life at least two or three times a week, along with many other aspects of self care like yoga, swimming and meeting face to face with friends.

When I start to think about my kids growing and worry about technology and find myself thinking “well, now we have the technology I know my children can call me and vice versa if they need to, I also remember they too have an inner guidance system, their own intuition. And that is what I teach by example, remembering I somehow managed to navigate life without having a constant digital tether.

The important things for me to remember in this world of overwhelm and hypernovelty, is that we each have our own access to answers within us. Answers to “what is best for me right now” don’t require a Google search or a check in with Suri. Consciously seeking my own answers is an opportunity for me to find ways to meet my needs and wants that are healthier than meeting them while tuning out and letting algorithms and search engines take over. This is the balance I want my kids to learn really.

Our lives and attention are becoming fast consumed with various forms of digital technology. How can you use this as a way to enrich your life rather than as a way to escape from it? Where and when in your life has overwhelm allowed hypernovelty to take the driving seat? Is it perhaps relevant to take a little time out to tune in a bit more to your inner world, and seek your own unique answers to living your best life?

If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy  Meditation – the Cornerstone to Your Success, What You Give Your Attention to Is Your Greatest Contribution, The Internal Shift You Need to Help Solve the Social Dilemma, Focus Your Attention, Do You Abandon Yourself in Order to Make Others Happy? and  What Possibilities Can You Get Excited About Right Now in Your Life?  To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.

As 2020 draws to a close, I was reflecting on a piece of news an old colleague of mine had posted about a lovely surprise holiday her husband had booked to a tropical location at the end of next year. Probably like many people, I am unsure whether that kind of travel will be possible again by then, but I started to wonder whether that was even the right question to be asking myself.

In his article 15 Great Quotes on the Importance of Asking the Right Question Mitch Ditkoff states how, as a consultant, he continues to be astounded by how few organisations have any kind of process to press pause, reflect and make sure they are coming up with the right questions. 

Setting aside questions about COVID19 itself for now, I started to think back to those early lockdowns, when much of the world seemed to stand still. It was a time when we as a family got to pause, reflect and take stock.

I can understand people wanting to get back to holidays and social activities, but what did that pause shed light on? There were reports of Venice’s canals running clearer, the clearest they’ve been in sixty years. An article in Science Direct sadly concluded (after research looking at the effects on the environment during the first global lockdowns) “Coronavirus itself is Earth’s vaccine and we humans are the virus”.

Talk of holidays and “getting back to normal” evokes in me a sense of frustration. I’m going to ignore the expression “the new normal” for the moment, because that seems to be more associated with control and fear, and that is not the kind of future I’m envisaging. But this idea of life going back to the way it was before the global pandemic seems ridiculous to me.

It has amplified so many issues about our environment and our social, political, economic, technological and personal challenges that it is a time in history ripe for change.

But having witnessed the relatively quick return to a lack of human connection between commuters in London after terrorist attacks in the early part of the millennium, I know how quickly distraction sets in.

During the lockdown here back in March through May, I revelled in being able to stroll out my front door and walk peacefully through our neighbourhood. But as soon as the restrictions were lessened, road traffic increased and the peaceful walks became crowded with road noise and traffic fumes, so now I have to get in my car to drive elsewhere if I want to take a peaceful walk.

I loved that my car did not get its tank refilled for over two months, it weighs on me that I consume fossil fuels. Yet, like many people around the world, I have commitments that would be extremely difficult to meet without running a vehicle. How can I find ways to change this?

How many governments and major political parties right now are even thinking about the lessons this crisis has taught us and have evolution on their agenda?

That said, I know my most effective voting takes place through the money I spend and the things I give my attention to. So where am I placing my attention? What am I spending money on? Am I using my resources in a way that would encourage the kind of change and transformation that could be for the benefit of not just me or my family, but for all of humankind, the creatures and the living planet on which we all reside?

I learned this year that I have white privilege. What other privileges do I hold? How can I give other people the benefit of my privileges? How can I help dismantle the systems of oppression within myself and for others?

I also learned from The Social Dilemma documentary that social media is six times more effective at spreading false news. Since conspiracy theories have abounded in 2020, I’ve watched friends and family become polarized on important topics to a degree that neither side seems able to hear the other.

I’ve had to ask myself, am I using social media as a tool? Or am I letting it demand my attention and manipulate my thinking? And where is my own resistance to hearing others’ opinions?
 
I learned that, in a time when our country faced a health risk, our government cut off the supply to my chosen form of healthcare and made only pharmaceuticals available. What can I do to ensure I maintain a freedom of choice in my healthcare even in times of crisis?

I learned that I was absolutely spot-on in my self assessment that I am not cut out to home school my children. Yet being able to give them and their schoolwork such individual attention led me to asking the right questions that uncovered their neurodiversity, and still more questions to find the right support and training so they can flourish. I wonder how I can support all children in their uniqueness to flourish?

I learned the importance of self sustainability. With panic buying, a lack of groceries and no access to garden supplies, keeping emergency supplies and a variety of fresh things to eat growing in our garden became more important. It highlighted all the problems I had known about with mono-farming and the way we currently source goods and services from around the world. What more can I do with our budget to encourage local and organic businesses?

I learned that reconnecting with my partner and children was simultaneously challenging and liberating. It brought about a huge amount of personal change in terms of consciously shaking off old beliefs and behavioural patterns that weren’t serving us. Where to next on that I wondered?

And then I got one of Claire Zammit’s emails that asked seven power questions:

• Where in your life have you most felt like yourself this past year?
• What have been the greatest challenges you’ve overcome?
• What can you acknowledge about yourself and your strengths?
• What is it time to let go of in your life?
• What is it time for forgive yourself for?
• What is it time to forgive others for?
• What are the old patterns that it’s time to release?

It reminded me that, while I have learned a lot about myself this year, the road ahead lies wide open for me to keep learning.  

2020 is a year that I think of as catalysing. It has led me to ask more questions than it has produced in terms of answers. I’m always impatient for change, and I know as I look back change will probably seem quicker than it feels right now.

Am I asking the right questions I wonder? So long as I keep taking time to pause and reflect on the bigger picture of my own life, I’m confident the right questions will arise.

The question is, with holiday season almost upon us at the end of this landmark year, what are the right questions for you to ask yourself right now?

​If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy Change the World One Day at a Time, Want to Make the World a Better Place? Tune In, What Value Are You Adding to the Currencies in Your Life?, How You Are Complicit in the Oppression of Others, You See What Happens When Leaders Are Not Grown Up on the Inside and The Internal Shift You Need to Help Solve the Social Dilemma. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.

When I watched Tristan Harris in The Social Dilemma documentary recently, recommended by my partner, it had a similar impact as watching Al Gore in An Inconvenient Truth back in 2006. While I already had a little insight into the additive quality and manipulative effects of social media across the various sectors of our society, I learned a lot from listening to those who created today’s popular platforms as they voiced their grave concerns.
 
Through a series of interviews with Silicon Valley engineers and executives who designed the technologies they now fear, the documentary explores this topic in an eye opening way, taking us through exactly how these platforms make money. As the documentary makes evident, it’s confusing because it’s simultaneously utopia and dystopia, trapped by a business model and shareholder pressure that makes it difficult for these companies to do anything else. 
 
The answer therefore lies outside of these companies. While introducing better laws and regulations, adapting the technology and the economic incentives seem obvious answers, there is a long way to go to catch up and I’m not yet seeing the sense of urgency and scale of action to achieve this in the near future.
 
On a personal level though, there are some immediate actions anyone can take, the most important of which is an inner shift to help navigate these sometimes treacherous waters. Firstly though, it’s worth understanding just what the real issues are. For this I highly recommend watching the documentary and doing some research.
 
But given the little understood and perhaps unintended consequences of social media, I decided to include the key take outs I got from the documentary as I believe it’s one of the most important issues of our time. If you have watched the documentary, feel free to scroll past the sets of bullet points and article continues below them.  
 
To start, here is an outline of the social media business model and how it works

• The three main goals of a social media platform are engagement, growth and advertising; the first two powering the potential for the third, which is where the money is made. All three of these goals are powered by algorithms that are designed to keep the numbers going up.
• Algorithms are optimized to some definition of success, in a commercial enterprise that is usually profit, they are designed to learn/change/improve/adapt as they receive more data
• The images we look at, for how long, what we are doing at any particular time. Data comes from everything we do online being tracked/measured/monitored and stored.
• Lots of data is great for making predictions, which is great for feeding you more to increase engagement, which means more targeted adverts and feeds, which brings in more revenue. It’s not the data that is sold; it’s the predictions that attract the best advertising dollars.
• These systems know more about us than ever imagined. All that data gets fed into systems that have little human supervision and are getting better and better about predicting what we are going to do and who we are.
• “If you’re not paying for the product, you are the product”. Though Jared Lanier says it’s not as simplistic as aiming to get as to spend as much of our attention as possible on these platforms “it’s the gradual, slight imperceptible change in your behaviour and perception that is the product.”

 
This leads to a number of key points around the unintended side effects regarding our self esteem created in the bid for our attention:

• Social media taps into our biological imperative to connect with other people, giving us the dopamine hit to keep us coming back for more. In effect, they are deliberately designed to be addictive.
• Edward Tufte said “There are only two industries that call their customers users: illegal drugs and software”
• Online connection, especially for the young, has become the primary form of connection, yet it’s financed through these sneaky third parties (advertisers) and we’ve put brutal popularity and manipulation (more about this in a minute) at the heart of human connection.
• We used to protect kids’ viewing, by regulating what they watched and what could be advertised at kids’ viewing times. Those protections and regulations do not exist within social media.
• This stuff is not designed by child psychologists; it’s controlling their attention, self worth and identity. In correlation with the introduction and widespread use of social media platforms, anxiety, depression and suicide have increased significantly, particularly in pre teen and late teen girls.

 
And now that these platforms have our attention, this has lead to perhaps another unintended and insidious threat, the potential and ease for manipulation:

• YouTube Recommendations’ algorithm, for example, is extremely efficient at keeping you online. It’s designed to feed you more of what you want and take you down rabbit holes that are powerful, so it’s trying to find out which rabbit hole is closest to your interests.
• A rabbit hole means that a person is caught up in going deeper and deeper into a particular subject and, at some point, making a detour to other places that are completely unrelated to the first thing you were looking at, but look and sound cool.
• Since there are many trillions of articles, videos and data in general available, and all of them are interlinked, you can spend literally days, months and years of your life researching a topic. For more on rabbit holes read here.
• MIT did a study that determined fake news spread six times faster ion Twitter than true news.
• Systems bias towards false information because it makes more money than the truth (something we have known for years through our other forms of media). The truth is often boring.
• It’s a disinformation for profit model. The system allows unregulated messages to be read by anyone for the best price. Facebook has trillions of these newsfeed posts, they can’t know what’s true and what’s not true.
• Because the platform knows so much about you (your likes, your triggers, your interests, even whether you’re introverted or extroverted etc) newsfeeds give you this sense, over time, that everyone agrees with you because everyone in your newsfeed thinks like you. Once in that state you’re easily manipulated.
• Others then think “How can they be so stupid? How can’t they see all this information that I’m seeing?” Well, they can’t, they are seeing their own unique feed.
• When that happens at scale, we’re no longer able to consume information that contradicts with the world view we’ve created, meaning we are not being objective, constructive individuals.
• “As a tool of persuasion it may be one of the greatest things ever created.”
• Shoshana Zuboff, a professor at Harvard Business School, shared that “Facebook ran an experiment using subliminal cues to see if they could get more people to vote in the mid-term elections, they succeeded. We now know we can affect users behaviour without them knowing.”
• To manipulate an election, you could go into a conspiracy theory group on Facebook, for example, and find one hundred people whose attention is gripped by the Flat Earth topic, or discussions on why we never landed on the moon, and say “give me one thousand users like that”, or one million, and you can feed those people more conspiracy theories to undermine politicians, parties or even systems of government.
• The manipulations by third parties is not a hack, they’re using tools built for legitimate advertising for nefarious purposes.

 
What perhaps struck me the most is that the inherent design of social media makes addiction and manipulation not only likely but necessary based on today’s business models. Here’s the final wrap up and conclusions:

• There’s no regulation, no rules, no competition, and the companies are acting like de facto governments saying “we can regulate ourselves”.
• Given the topics touched upon and the real world examples highlighted in the documentary that I haven’t gone into here (but everyone will recognise when they see), the technologists who created social media are perhaps not so silly to be worried about its ability to create civil war, to send democracies into autocratic dysfunction, and the failure to meet the challenges of global climate change due to its distraction, the collapse/ruin of the global economy and perhaps even an existential threat.
• It’s not that highly motivated propaganda hasn’t existed before; it’s that the platforms make it possible to spread manipulative narrative with phenomenal ease and relatively little money.
• It’s ability to create chaos, outrage, instability, lack of trust in each other, loneliness, alienation, polarization, populism, distraction, an inability to focus on the real issues; these are all issues we contend with today. Certainly its ability to bring out the worst in society is the real threat.

 
When I thought about all this, I realised my own experiences with my children and the sheer pervasiveness of YouTube, not to mention its inappropriate content and addictive nature, were just the tip of the iceberg.  
 
My kids used to watch YouTube Kids, but it was just too easy for them to interconnect with YouTube at so many turns. For those who think there are parental controls for Youtube, there are not. YouTube has one restriction mode and that is it, and it basically is an 18 and over restriction that you can click on or off, and all videos on restricted mode cannot earn money on You Tube, so it's basically only effective for porn type stuff.
 
Other than that the options are to sit with them and watch everything with them, or continuously go through and delete history, unsubscribe etc; there is also a complaint button. To block channels you have to create your own channel, and none of it is straightforward. How did we go from a society that only allowed mature content after 9pm and all content was screened to be age appropriate to this monster of a free for all?
 
My kids started to watch YouTube for EllieV and her lego building, which had mysteriously vanished from YouTube Kids for a while, and from there they discovered YouTube family channels i.e families that post fun games online, like their family navigating obstacle courses etc.
 
However, then it took a more sinister turn. The YouTube families (there are probably hundreds of them, but my kids liked to watch three or four in particular) started doing these Dollmaker videos, where they received a doll that seemed to come from a mysterious Dollmaker and took on a life of its own. Some dolls were good, some were just weird and creepy.
 
So there were my kids, age six and eight at the time, watching good clean, healthy family fun, then suddenly these weird creepy dolls turn up and the families play along like they are trying to get rid of these dolls but can't, then a member of the family gets possessed by a doll and will become a doll, and my children are wondering "is this real?"
 
I could not believe the blatant manipulation, nor the fact that I had no reliable way of allowing my kids to watch any of the content they enjoyed without falling prey to scary nonsense like that. Since then we decided no more YouTube. But its not easy unless they have zero access to devices, which they both use for listening to audiobooks and playing games for a couple of hours on the weekend.
 
I have had to go into the administrator function on our modem and block every conceivable YouTube web address I can find on their particular devices, and the devices only connect to the wifi while I download new audio books or games for them, so I am constantly having to connect/disconnect the devices. It requires a lot of hands on management to regulate their viewing, something I could rely in being regulated through TV or movie theaters.
 
I also thought of a good friend of mine saying one day during our lockdown that she’d “swallowed the red pill”. I vividly remember that she had then spent the best part of the night way down deep in a rabbit hole, over her head in conspiracy theories about COVID19. Ever since, through her, I have become more aware than ever of the conspiracy theories that exists and the lack of trust and fear they perpetuate.
 
It is easy to see the division and polarization that is happening; vaccines are a case in point. That I might question the efficacy of a vaccine all too often results in an automatic and derisory label of being an anti-vaxxer.
 
Knowing how sublimely our immune systems work when supported by the right diet and lifestyle, the fact that my kids had twenty vaccines by the age of four as a matter-of-course should be something I’m encouraged to investigate and question; it seems like a lot of intervention for burgeoning little bodies. But instead there appears little objective welcome on either side of the debate, there is however a lot of anger and fear.
 
So what is the answer?
 
The advice of the technologists is to uninstall apps that are wasting our time, turn off all notifications on anything that is not timely/important right now, and not to accept recommendations on Google search but to scroll down and choose your own and to think twice, three times, before hitting emotion buttons, likes and shares.
 
Reflecting on these recommendations, these were actions I’d already taken some time ago.
 
I don’t generally tend to participate in media of any kind, except when using it as a tool, because I know I can lose hours of my life. I know there is as much misinformation out there as there is information (although this documentary has perhaps taught me there may well be a much greater proportion of misinformation), and I only want to be sifting my way through all that when I’m actively interested in learning about something.
 
Even knowing this I still catch myself checking for new email or messages often.
 
The key question I began to ask myself with my device is “Am I using it as a tool? Or am I letting it demand my attention and manipulate my thinking?”
 
But why is it that I had come to those conclusions already I wondered?
 
Well, in part, I had learned the lesson about not engaging in media decades ago when I was self employed. Because it’s designed to be sensational and pull me in, I decided it was a time waster. I want to stay positive and focused on my own goals in life, not pulled into dramas I have no direct control over.
 
The other thing that has really helped me navigate the fears (of 2020 in particular), which are being fed by and prayed upon by social media in my opinion, is quite simple. It is an internal shift, the practice of observing my thoughts.
 
This has allowed me to notice when I’m thinking things that are putting me in a fearful state, which then empowers me to take action to bring myself back into balance. It’s like the game of hot and cold, the more fear I feel the colder/further I’m getting from my truth. The warmer/closer I am to my truth, the more peace I feel.
 
Examples would include topics like vaccines, or government conspiracy theories. As I sit here typing this I am aware through others that tomorrow is the date banded about online by which New Zealand would come under martial law, and a separate theory that it is also the day on which we will plunge into darkness as planet Earth shifts on its axis.
 
Now, if you are reading this it means we are past the date and we will either be in apocalyptic chaos or, well, we will be trucking along in the more chronic kind of chaos already well outlined in here. I do know someone though who is stocking up their food reserves just in case, and who urged me to do so because they do genuinely care about me.
 
How do I navigate situations that? I can feel the tension and fear in my body rise when these conversations are broached. I have to take some time to myself afterwards and really sit with the feelings and sometimes do a little research to figure out whether there is something I need be concerned about or not.
 
I wish to remain objective, and I know that to do so I have to work hard at creating space between me and the hype. So when a documentary comes along like The Social Dilemma, I have the head and heart space to take it in.
                           
To achieve this I meditate daily. As I discuss in Meditation – the Cornerstone to Your Success, it’s a practice of noticing when I’m thinking and letting those thoughts go, in short I become the observer of my thoughts rather than completely swept up by them.
I also make sure I take regular walk in nature to clear my head, practice yoga for my mind and body also, go for a swim to help me defrag, and so on. Actively making regular space in my calendar for these things gives me space on the inside.
 
Making that internal shift gives me perspective, keeps me objective, able to explore alternative views, and helps me maintain focus on the bigger picture of not just my own life, but life here on Earth.
 
As Jared Lanier wisely comments in the The Social Dilemma, even if only a small percentage of people change their social media habits as a result of the documentary, it’s at least creating space to have a conversation about how we navigate our future. Will you make the internal shift and join the conversation?
 
If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy Your Answers Are Within, What Do You Want The Prevailing Global Culture to Look Like?, Stand in Your Own Truth and How to Be True to You When Life Pulls You in Different Directions. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.
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