 When who you are, your most authentic self, carries a stigma...
“Who the heck AM I?” I wondered. I had just, quite unexpectedly, told my good friend what her dead sibling had to say to her. That was over 2 years ago. I was – and still am – on a deliberate journey to figure out who I am. I had left the corporate world more than 6 months beforehand and had started publishing a blog. Writing helped me focus on what I wanted to say, or find out. As I wrote I came to realise that we are each a bit like onions, with layer upon layer of self-limiting beliefs we have picked up in our lifetime. I also recognised the joy and release in focusing my attention in the present, and that joy is our natural state. The year before I had awakened fully to my spirituality, a series of dots suddenly joining, but this phenomenon was something new. Growing up I had heard about psychics and mediums, if I’m honest they probably scared and intrigued me a little, but I really had nothing to do with anyone like that – mainly because I didn’t know anyone like that. It was the stuff of fairgrounds and gypsies so far as I knew. My upbringing was conservative, as was society. I wasn’t aware of anyone I knew who was ‘different’ in any way. It was really only through media hype, reading fiction, self-development and watching movies and sci-fi that my world expanded. When I watched the first version of The Secret DVD in 2006, I listened again and again to Esther Hicks, her words were so poignant and wise, and I was eventually intrigued by the subtitle “Voice of Abraham”, wondering what that meant. When I later watched The Secret Behind the Secret DVD, which is Esther’s story, I began to understand that she was channeling a more universal intelligence than that which resided in her own mind. At the same time I was starting out in a new country and looking for someone I could bounce ideas off of as I built my life, someone who could give me a broader perspective. A friend recommended a lady who was a ‘psychic remedial psychologist’. The word psychic didn’t sit comfortably with me, but I decided to meet her anyway. I talked, she listened, and she’d reflect back to me what she had heard. Except sometimes she’d reflect back to me what she’d heard without me ever talking. While there was a frustration in not being able to mentally offload at times, what I was hearing resonated so I kept listening and by the end of the session felt lighter without saying much of anything. It was a strange experience really because she never explained what psychic meant, or tried to teach me the art, she simply amplified back to me what she was sensing or conveyed what she was hearing. Only now do I understand it enough for it to seem quite normal to me. Now I can quite easily articulate that, given that we are just energy at our essence, with that energy preceding all thought, and thought (and, more importantly, feelings in relation to those thoughts) creating the experiences we are having, interpreting the energy doesn’t seem so weird. In fact, we all do it every day, it’s called our intuition. Psychic ability is simply the ability to turn up the volume on your intuition. We all have (and generally acknowledge) intuition, we do not all – however – acknowledge the existence of anything more than we can process with our physical senses, nor do we all agree on what that non-physical realm might be. This creates a conundrum. If the fullest expression of who you are is something the world at large recognises and agrees on, great. If not, it can be a bit tricky. Listening to JP Sears talk recently on the topic of self acceptance, I was reminded of a concept that I have heard Eckhart Tolle, Esther Hicks and many others talk about, and it this idea that you are not your beliefs. Your beliefs are, after all, just a repeated thought pattern and can be changed. He was also talking about the importance – for him – of being playful about his spiritual beliefs because this helps to remind him he is not his beliefs. Acknowledging that we each have our own truth, there is no ‘one’ truth, kind of got me stuck in that conundrum for a while. If I ‘came out’, psychically speaking, would I be rejected? And who is the ‘I’ that could be rejected? I am not my beliefs, this I can see. I think it was Esther Hicks that pointed out the need to get others to agree with us is the single cause of conflict in our world and it’s so unnecessary. What you or I believe might shape what we think, do and feel, but it’s not ‘you’ or ‘me’. I then began to wonder whether this ability to turn up the dial on my intuition was ‘me’. Well, it’s a gift, but does a gift define ‘me’? It still didn’t feel like the whole answer. If I take a broader perspective, acknowledging it’s within the confines of my own beliefs, if we are all one energy coming into and out of form, then ‘me’, the one writing this now, is simply a point of focus until this body stops breathing. Like a wave on the ocean. Therefore the “I’ or the ‘me’ who was realizing my psychic ability, can’t really be rejected, only the idea of it can be rejected. As I shared some stories with my parents on how this was unfolding, ‘coming out’ as you might call it, they rejected the whole idea, yet - strangely - I didn’t feel rejected. After some initial feelings of defensiveness and frustration, I asked “do I feel rejected?” and can honestly say that, no, I don’t, I still feel loved. I think this idea of who “I’ am, is just an intention. It’s like the wave on the ocean, perhaps a bit like a wave that finds itself on a river inlet when it had intended to break on the shore of a sandy beach, I just have a sense of what I intended for my life and whether the experience was a match to it. In my corporate guise it was not, just writing and producing articles it was not entirely either. However, when I receive and pass on messages, whether to myself or others, well, that feels more of a fit. Where the messages come from, whether they are a translation of an answer to a desire or a question a person has, or whether they are delusional, is really of no consequence. What is of consequence is whether the messages help. This is how I felt in the years preceding my own spiritual awakening when I’d connect in with my psychic remedial psychologist. I used to call her ‘my voodoo woman’ to my friends, in order to disassociate from the term psychic. Putting aside the term and any construct in her belief system, the messages resonated, so I kept listening. And so it is that I tell readers and individuals to simply take what resonates. It doesn’t really matter how you hear something, in this context or any other, if it helps, keep it; if it doesn’t, ditch it. I can’t say where any of this is going in my own life, there is so much learning and growing to be done to ever be as good at it as my psychic remedial psychologist or the likes of Esther Hicks. I don’t think I’ll be updating my title on LinkedIn to Medium anytime soon, but who knows? It’s interesting that neither of the two teachers I have named (Esther and Eckhart) have ever labeled themselves with their ability, not wanting it to stand in the way of people hearing the messages. While a crystal ball would certainly fit with the image some might conjure, translating energy can only ever apply to what is in the now – and since we each create our own energy and have free choice – we each determine our own future in the choices we make in each moment. I can only tell myself what I’d tell anyone, that when you are in touch with who you really are, and you are expressing that to the world, it can only help you to live your best life, therein making this world a better place. Have the courage to be who you are, the world needs you. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.
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 How many things are there in your life that feel more like an obligation or a chore than a joy?
Stuff You Shouldn’t Be Doing Trusting I’m enough, instead of being the perfect parent, perfect school mum, perfect friend, perfect daughter, I could go on and on, actually requires a bigger act of trust on my part than believing that there’s something bigger than me. Yet if I believe there is something bigger than me, something powerful enough that lines up circumstances and events to bend to my desires, a trust in life that results in things always working out for me (at least in the end), it should follow that I must be worthy of these? That is a big disconnect for most of us, resulting from years of having our behaviour corrected and being told – often in well-meaning and certainly in many guises - we are not good enough. This results in many of us acting out of fear, shame and guilt, doing things we think we really should ‘if we were a good person’; I often have to stop and question these in my quest for authenticity. Right now I’m contending with the annual school fair that the parents at my kids’ school are required to run. I not only feel the pressure myself but see it in so many around me. There is so much to do to get ready for it (it’s a big community event), and too many people dancing to the beat of someone else’s drum, instead of looking at it through the lenses of what they’d like to contribute, the things that would give them satisfaction and joy. Shame and guilt feature prominently in the landscape of already overwhelmed parents. And that is just a poxy fair (not to diminish our wonderful event, but you get what I mean). It takes courage to say no, and to do that without any defense. If you are finding yourself justifying what you’re saying no to, you are still in defense mode. Practice focusing on what you can and want to do instead. I call it win-win-win giving. When you can do that it creates more space in your life for what’s truly important. Stuff You Really Should Be Doing This is about your goals and dreams, the stuff that is both big and small. Do you even know who you’d rather be and what you’d rather do beyond all those obligations you feel? Another way of asking is whether you are acquainted with the person you were born to be? Knowing who I am and what I want, truly, and feeling like that is enough or that I’m brave enough or worthy are ongoing for me. It started with a deliberate journey to authenticity, now well documented, but it continues to be something that takes practice. One of my kids’ favourite story series is about a young brother and sister who time-travel in a magic tree house. I love listening to the stories as the kids (both mine and the characters in the stories) learn so much from their missions. There have been many stories where they’ve helped famous figures in history connect in with their greatness long before it was recognised. In the one we are listening to now, Jack and Annie have gone back to a time when Florence Nightingale is a just young lady, before she ever served on the battlefields, she was an aristocrat spurned by her circle for not acting the way a lady of her breeding should, and certainly it was unthinkable that she should be a nurse. There have also been the stories of helping Wolfgang Amadeus connect in with his musical talent and Leonardo Da Vinci and Louis Armstrong and many others beside believe in themselves. While these are just fictional accounts, albeit written with great mastery, they are a great reminder that the world would have missed out on some amazing inventions, contributions and people if we were simply born to comply with other people’s expectations of us. I will continue to beat the drum of worthiness in my own ears and those of anyone who will listen. If you can trust that you are enough, and ditch any defense and time wasting crap, and trust that the universe will always find ways you can’t even think of to deliver your desires, even just some of the time, you will start to open yourself up to the best version of your life. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  I’ve always believed that – in the bigger scheme of things - things work out for all of us. Sure, we might experience pain – a lot - along the way, but certainly when I look back on my life there isn’t a single thing I’d change. Everything that has happened has ultimately benefited me in some way.
Despite that belief, I have also spent too many years trying to make things happen, feeling like I’m swimming upstream. “If it’s going to be it’s up to me”, I just didn’t realise what that actually meant. I didn’t realise that my work was to figure out what I wanted, and then to trust it would happen. I don’t mean that things would just drop into my lap, though things like that have happened from time to time, often when they are things that – while I certainly wanted them - I wasn’t so wedded to wanting them that I was dwelling on not having them. Like the time I had a salary figure in my head of $150k as being my worth in the market, and out of nowhere I got more than a $25k raise to match the salary I had in mind. I didn’t need the raise, our bills were taken care of, and I wasn’t expecting it. If I had been, I likely wouldn’t have come so easily, that is the irony of feeling needy. Or the time I imagined finding a huge shell on the beach where I usually walk, where there are soft sandy beaches and hundreds of smaller shells, and then I found a great beauty just the day after wishing for it. Or more recently, we started dreaming of a holiday in Hawaii and then were gifted one in Fiji (no need to split hairs, it was a tropical paradise minus the consumerism, so it worked out well). But often there are things I want and I do feel their lack. The big one that so many relate to was when I was trying to get pregnant, which is a whole other story of its own. Then there was coming home from that holiday in Fiji and realizing it had created a desire for more than just 6 weeks of reliably hot sunny days a year, the kind of days where you just want to flop in a pool. Interestingly the first question I get when I share that is “where would you live?” or something similar. The ‘what’, ‘where’ and ‘how’ are where trust comes in. I can spend hours researching options and trying to make things happen. I can try to reason with my partner when he says “well I’m not moving, I’ve spent so much time and effort establishing a business here.” But what’s the point in that? The answer may not be in moving, it may be in travelling more or something else I haven’t ever thought of. At this juncture, it’s just a thought, the seed of desire, I feel no urge to check anything specific out; anything I do think of feels like too much effort or not quite right. That is where I’ve pushed through in the past, if I’ve felt it important enough, making it my mission to make it happen. Yet when the timing is right and the stars are lined up, I know I’ll feel inspired to take action if it’s needed and the transformation will be relatively effortless. Too often I’ve experienced happenstance and serendipities to disregard their role in life. There was a time when trusting in life wasn’t something I was inclined to do, but a lot of years of hindsight have helped me see that things always seem to work in my favour in the end, and I wasted too much time worrying along the way. I was reading an old collection of Enid Blyton books to the kids recently, about a family with three small children who live in a caravan and have all sorts of adventures. In one book they look after another little boy throughout the summer holidays as his mum is very sick. There is a conversation between Ann (the youngest caravan child) and Benjy (the stranger) where they’re talking about saying prayers, and Benjy feels his are not really heard (by God, the Universe, whoever). Ann is shocked and says “well you can’t feel very safe then” and he replies that he doesn’t “I’m always afraid something awful is going to happen”. Trusting that life works perfectly if you go with its flow, remaining alert to the things that you feel called to, the things that inspire you, makes life so much easier and much more relaxed. My lesson now is taking this tact with the day to day things that irk me, like queues, slow traffic, fundraisers at school, the school fair (organized by parents), so many things about school! Yet if I can remember to remember that things always work out, it eases the pressure, it takes away the angst of feeling that I’m ‘needing to’ do certain things. That ties in with feels about my own self worth, another topic to explore. Trusting in life and its ability to bend to your every desire, whether relatively trivial or deeply important, takes practice – and it’s a lot easier to start in the realms of the trivial. But just make a start, the very next thing that irritates or inconveniences you (it won’t take long), just try saying “thank you” and remember to remember that things always work out. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  Before there was Earth
Before there was life There was you You are the basis of creation You are that which we are Without you, there would be no more life… You have existed here for billions of years Flowing through the air, through the earth, through the seas Through each cell of our bodies, through plants and trees You have touched our past and rain it upon our present The miracle of existence evident in your presence There is nowhere you have not been In this physical world, a life unseen Always changing, always expressing in endless ways From the dark depths of the sea to an early summer’s haze Frozen in time, with a crystalline form Running free in a river, or in the cells of a worm Eons spent in an ocean under the moon Caressing turtles as they shelter in the lagoon Entering in, flowing through, staying a while, creating the new The ocean with its gentle waves Or thundering industry on more blustery days All of it you, in your many guises Experiencing a life so full of surprises You do not discern between bad and good You give and take life in servitude The moon moves you forward and back Heat and cold changing you from excess to lack The winds move you through the night As vapor, or perhaps a cloud taking flight You surely must delight in each form that you take So many each day, with never a break You dance freely through this life never ending In awe I can sense my mind bending In your very existence you are showing There is no death, just more life unfolding This is true of us all I have no doubt We simply change form on the roundabout So versatile, so necessary to all that we are From whence you came, maybe a star Or in the mind’s eye of just the one creator It does not matter how you birthed Just that you gave life to this Earth Thank you, water Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  Don’t be dissuaded from your own true nature. But be sure to know what that is.
I heard an author talk about virtue recently, saying how undervalued, how unpopular it has become in our society. True perhaps when you look at social groups. Yet I was reflecting that it’s interesting that when looking for a mate, or to someone in authority, or to those we elect, those virtuous qualities are generally still important to us. My mother-in-law came for a visit last week and saw all the banner advertising as she drove into town, we have an impending national election here in New Zealand in the next month or so. She was telling me what a farce it’s turning into and how out of date many of the banners are already due to public scandal and resignations. Yes I live my life happily without ever watching or reading the news, why on earth would I want to track that kind of nonsense? It’s not the world I want to live in and I’m not going to fuel it by giving it my attention. I’m also not entirely sure why anyone else does? Years ago I recall a friend taunting “don’t choke on your halo Shona”, and it really upset me. Not so much because I didn’t want anyone to think I was a goody-two-shoes, I didn’t care whether they thought that or not, what I cared about was not wanting to appear sanctimonious. I’ve never seen myself as superior to anyone, nor anyone as superior to me, morally or otherwise. We can know more about certain things than each other, or have different talents or experiences, but we are all in this game of life together. One affects all. When I was a child, there was talk of our school fighting another school. I don’t know how this started, but I do know even my best friend turned up with a wrench. I was scared, not so much of getting hurt as I had no intention of being anywhere near, but that this pointless bravado would result in others getting needlessly hurt. I just knew the right thing to do was blow the whistle, so I did. I have no idea if anyone ever knew it was me, I wouldn’t have proactively told people but wouldn’t have shirked away from an answer if I had been asked, yet no one ever said anything. Now as I see even my young 6 year old in school, there’s something about a social group that seems to bring out the worst in human behaviour, all in pursuit of being popular. Why is bad behaviour so popular among a group I wonder? And why does virtue tend to lack more when people think they can get away with it? I think we generally rebel from feelings of being quashed ourselves, being indoctrined into society means being told what not to do, and rebuked for doing it, from the moment we start to interact with the world. Less than virtuous behaviour is generally our way of clawing back power, yet the irony is that the power always resides within us. Virtue is not just for the few, virtue is a quality we are born with. Yet as adults it is often proffered as an undesirable trait, naive even. No one wants to be seen as naïve, nor as overly goody-good, why not? I want people to treat me in a virtuous way, with honour and kindness. I want to live in a society that displays that in its political systems, corporations, education and healthcare. We seem to be born into this world in pretty good shape, loving, full of joy and self worth, then we become subject to the opinions of others. Why do we place so much importance on those? I understand as a youngster so much is out of our control, big people are in the driving seat, and boy we seem to do a lot of damage in a short space of time. It’s like a collective collusion to disable our next generation. In the guise of teaching what is right (which, frankly, does not need taught, only demonstrated) we seem to knock down and rebuild; rendering the adult a former shadow of the self who arrived as a baby, and more of a drone. The birth of new generations perhaps takes us inching towards a better world, but the pace is painstakingly slow, encumbered by the relentless tides of knocking each new hope’s self confidence and filling heads with utter nonsense. Wake up people. You were born to this life with a purpose, you came knowing love, self worth, knowing virtue. Love yourself enough to be virtuous . You are not powerless, you always have the choice to do the right thing, and it is never fruitless nor too late. You don’t need to take a stand against anything, you just need to take a stand for the right thing. Fighting against something, anything, is a waste of energy, it fuels the very thing you want to get away from, just focus on what you do want, and live that life. Small things, figuring out the right thing to do can sometimes perplex, especially when ‘”doing the right thing” has become somewhat of a euphemism for sacrifice. The fact is, if it doesn’t make you feel good, trust your instincts and don’t go along with it. Like this week when I was angsting about throwing a birthday party for my kids who both have birthdays coming up in the next few months. I simply don’t want to do a party for either, but both my kids love parties and want one because many of their friends have them, so I was feeling like maybe I should. In the end it took someone wiser than me to point out that it is a better thing to teach the kids to be true to themselves by being true to myself. There are plenty of things I feel inspired to do for the kids, and they don’t go short of anything really, but this is not one of those things. Each of these little dilemmas in life provides insights to our best life, and the answers are easier to find when you allow yourself a bit of space, taking regular time to fill your own cup. Try and get out into nature, take your lead from the examples all around. Despite some of the atrocities in the world, the sun keeps coming up, doing its thing. The leaves keep growing, shoots keep forming, rain keeps falling, and rivers keep flowing. Nature is not dissuaded from its true nature as we are, so it’s easier to get grounded in nature, tethering your resolve to its aspect. Look within, be virtuous, and you will be victorious in living your best life. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You. |
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