While something remains safely tucked out of sight in my inner world, no one can poke fun and burst my bubble. It also means I feel no obligation to follow through. It’s safe, it’s just a dream.

But bring it out in the open and I know I will feel both vulnerable and compelled, compelled to somehow prove myself right.

I’ve often said I’m a bit envious of people who have always known their calling, as I sat around waiting on the thunderbolt. I’ve written articles about just following the yellow brick road, taking the next inspired step. And I stand by every word.

Yet, in the process of doing just that, I feel like the thunderbolt has suddenly and unexpectedly hit. I always thought I’d just keep following the yellow brick road and then, one day, I’d look back and it would seem so obvious. In a way, that is what has happened. I’m not ‘there’, I haven’t realised my dream, far from it, but I have clarity and can be more focused in pursuing it now.

As Henry David Thoreau said “I learned this, at least by experiment, that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.”

And, as the cliché goes, it starts with a dream.

The thunderbolt came as it dawned on me that I do know where I’m headed. There were two things that I realised this week, two little ‘ah ha’ moments. The first is that I always have an opinion. You could ask me anything, literally, and it will always evoke a response in me. I now understand that is not what happens for everyone.

Ironically enough, it was my mum who used to always say “Shona knows everything” in a sarcastic tone (parents of most teenagers will know what I mean). I say ironically as I’m sure this trait of always having an opinion was inherited from mum. I remember years ago thinking I’d put together a book of mum’s opinions one day, it might be titled “Dog’s are Dirty” as she used to always comment “dog’s sniff bottoms and poo, then they come and lick your face.”

It makes me chuckle, even now.  Suffice to say, we never had dog in our house.

My opinions aren’t so much like that, they’re not fixed – quite the opposite in fact, my opinions are always evolving as I’m growing and learning. But, they arise in response to everything I hear none the less. When I say it invokes a response, sometimes it can be a slow burn, like when I was 18 years old and my boyfriend’s father (a physicist) said “how many dimensions do you think there are Shona?”

It’s a good question, he knew of ten for sure, which kind of blew my mind back then in the early 1990’s. Now I think there may be an infinite number of dimensions.

But I guess it’s why I’ve been so drawn to openly offer my perspective to people; you tell me your problems, I’ll have a response.

That said, it has taken years to get to a point of putting that out there. This is a good thing, for it is only now my perspective comes through a more authentic self who knows that it is not my opinion that counts, only whether it inspires something within you – because it is your opinion that counts when it comes to your life.

In the past, I may have been too attached to my opinion, too identified with it, for it to be given or received in an open way; in a way in where it could help point to your own inner truths and power.

The second thing to dawn this week is related to my dream of speaking to an audience. It’s something I’ve talked about now and then, but only having this vague sense of it as a possibility in the future.

The ‘ah ha’ moment came in the realization that it’s something I’m well prepared for, and that it could marry quite nicely with offering up my opinion to others who might have questions; a live interactive sort of a thing, perhaps starting in small groups.

Other than a momentary wobble in having to deliver a speech as a self-conscious spotty teenager in English Class, I’ve never really had qualms about my voice having an audience. As captain of the swim team, I used to lead the club chant to rally everyone at the start of a competition. One of the parents asked mum “What do you feed her? Raw Meat?”

As part of my postgraduate diploma I studied training delivery, which I then went on to do at various points in my corporate career. In my twenties I spent many years attending seminars where I’d listen and watch as successful business people and authors of self development and motivational books shared their stories and insights on stage.

All the while I’d be observing and critiquing their style, imagining how I would do it, inspired by their stories. I was learning and absorbing many details about the way a person would hold and project themselves from a stage, the dynamics and techniques that were powerful and those materials, colours and styles of dress that worked aesthetically.

I managed to get in some practice during my corporate life; designing and delivering leadership training, talking at corporate functions and even at several conferences (after winning some national awards in customer experience strategy many years ago).

But it has taken a while to get to a point of confidence about my latest subject matter, or the fact I even have one. It’s definitely grounded in personal change and transformation, but occasionally I project that out into visions of a more evolved world, or the more metaphysical aspects of our human potential.

I was just sharing this week that it took me 3 years of publishing my own blog to get comfortable enough to submit anything to a larger platform - Tiny Buddha. Meaning comfortable enough with my writing style, expertise and content that I wouldn’t feel dead in the water when an article got rejected, which is an inevitability.

I come from a background where people have ‘real jobs’, where pursuing a more creative career is so foreign that many of my loved ones are still waiting for me to ‘get back to the real world.’ But I haven’t been trying to figure out the next thing that will make me money, I’ve been trying to figure out the thing that I feel planted here on Earth to do, to be; the thing that will make my heart soar.

And of all the things I’ve learned in the last few years I’d have to say that the most important thing I’ve discovered is that we each have our own answers within us. To live that discovery to its fullest potential, and to help others to do the same, that feels important.

To be successful at anything, there are likely to be more rejections along the way or, more appropriately, re-directions as Dr Steve Maraboli says. To get to a point of delivering my perspective on a stage, interacting with an audience, there will be many moments to come that I can’t even fathom right now.

Of course I know of many routes that can lead there, but none of those have yet struck me as being on my yellow brick road. In fact, I have no idea what the next step even is, but I know I’ll be awake to the next intuitive nudge, serendipity or insight that gives me a clue.

Right now I’m just basking in this current step. A step from the mists of my imagination into words shared, a small step in the direction of realizing my dream, but a much larger step for the more vulnerable me inside.

But it was time, I could feel it.

Before I wrote this article, I had been talking about my dreams with someone I trust and respect. I said “If I were taking my own advice on this one, I'd say I know I will never be given a dream that is beyond my reach, follow the intuitive nudges and seek those who support your vision.”

So what about you? What is floating in your imagination that you have not yet spoken aloud? Listen to your inner voice, is it time to take a step forwards? I’d say that is very likely if you were drawn to this article.

Who do you know who could support your vision? If you are lucky there will be people in your life who will support you and believe in you. If not, you should seek them out. It’s not uncommon to face this situation, for our current lives are a reflection of yesterday’s dreams, and the players reflect that.

​Take a deep breath and a small step; go boldly in the direction of your dreams.

If what you read here resonates and you’d like a fresh perspective (and only that, it’s not advice you have to take or act upon) on a situation in your own life, feel free to contact me or click here for further information. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.

​“One can begin so many things with a new person – even begin to be a better man.” George Eliot, Middlemarch

“How do I open up from a point of being authentic me rather than living life through a defensive attitude?” This was a question posed to me after I had written about embracing your sensitivity.

It was an opportune question as I had just met someone the day before who had challenged me on this very subject. She didn’t know she was challenging me; she was just innocently going through a fairly standard process of meeting someone new. And, of course, meeting a new person is a perfect chance to portray the authentic me…. except….

Except authentic me is still in infancy in comparative terms to the more practiced version who has operated in the world for many more years. In truth, making the switch to authentic requires determination and persistence.

Each time I catch myself not acting in my own best interests, and dropping into the more comfortable learned behavioural patterns and coping mechanisms from my life to date, I have to take a deep breath and choose to be uncomfortable for a time.

I had, overall, a lovely conversation with this new person I met. Yet it all felt rather awkward and bungled from my inner perspective. We met through our respective parents-in-law, who are old friends, and we started up a side-conversation as the others caught up on their news.

It was the sort of conversation that took a natural course. We each have foreign accents, so the aspects of what brought us to New Zealand and how long ago and how we like it etc were discussed. Then the conversation turned to the traditional “and what do you do?”

The answer I wanted to give is “I be me”, but that tells her nothing and everything at the same time. Based on what she’d shared about what she did and was interested in, I made a judgment (a mistake) that she probably wouldn’t be interested in my world – the deep ‘meaning of life’ world.

So, instead, I just said “I write about personal growth stuff and I give people advice, a perspective, on things they are tussling with.” That’s at least one hurdle I have overcome in the introduction of my authentic self, not too bad an opener in terms of describing where I’m at, but there have been many more bungled attempts in days no so long ago.

When someone asks what I do, I could go ahead and describe the things that take up most of my time, like looking after the kids and the various roles involved in supporting my partner’s business. Those are the more ‘ordinary’ answers but not my authentic answer. It was however – as I discovered – the tact she had taken in her answer, which is why my judgment was incorrect.

“Oh, so do you mean like a life coach?” she asked. And that, while taking me down a less practiced route, was what opened the conversation up. I tried to explain that I don’t use that term as I don’t have any expectations on what people do with my perspective.

She then asked about what qualifications that requires and whether there is money to be made. That all felt a bit harder to explain on the spot, especially compared to the previously well-versed and practiced responses I had grounded myself in days gone past when I worked in the corporate arena and was used to explaining who I was and what I did.

Certainly my breadth and depth of experience, objectivity and intuitive sense usually equate to a perspective that is helpful to others, but right now I’m in exploration mode, I haven’t settled on a label or a career, nor do I particularly want to; I’m simply answering a calling.

This was not the smooth answer I gave though (having now had time to reflect on it), in truth I can’t remember what I said. I became aware my ego was itching to step in and boost my credibility by explaining that I used to have a successful corporate career, but my awareness of that stopped it in its tracks and so my explanations felt faltering.

But we bungled on anyway. She shared that she liked to read Oprah and other personal growth perspectives, and she was wondering whether I wrote similar kind of stuff. Then she surprised me by asking what I thought about the shift in human consciousness that is purported to be occurring and whether I agreed.

This took us to the deeper stuff, having established that area of common interest in what’s happening in the world as people seem to be awakening to the broader part of themselves. It was a wonderful conversation in all, diving into the kinds of questions that fill my soul while, at the same time, filling my tummy with the delicious homemade cheese scones that had been placed in front of us.

I was aware of the conversation being a learning ground at the time, and wasn’t thrilled about the initial awkward feelings it gave me inside. But that is part of growth. I could continue in my not-so-comfortable rut with it’s more socially acceptable and comfortable labels for things, or I can strive for authenticity and revealing the authentic me.

A friend of mine, who has been studying psychologist and anthropologist Alberto Villoldo’s discoveries on ancient Shaman wisdom, was talking about this very issue of authenticity and labels. While the shamanic practices that she loves will be an integral part of whatever she does, she is also finishing off a diploma that will allow her to anchor herself into something more widely understood.

While there is nothing wrong in that, it just highlights to me that the labels we have no longer really fit and we are trying to credibly create bridges to a future, more enlightened, world. As more of us are recognizing our desire to discover and reveal our authentic selves, I have no doubt that the things we are grappling with today will get quickly forgotten in the future we create.

It all starts as we bring more of who we authentically are into the world. As George Eliot said, with new people you can be a better human, but really – whether with new people or those who know us best -
introducing the authentic you will lead not only to a better future for you, but a better future for our world.

​If what you read here resonates and you’d like a fresh perspective (and only that, it’s not advice you have to take or act upon) on a situation in your own life, feel free to contact me or click here for further information. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.

Lately the phrase “let your light shine” has crossed my path several times. While I know the wisdom of those words, lately it’s evoked the question “what is my light exactly?”

It’s not that I’m lacking awareness around my strengths, it’s more that I’ve been feeling a lack of passion for anything in particular to pursue. I’ve always envied those people who knew from early on that they wanted to be or do a particular thing, whether it’s rock climbing or wrestling with the physical laws of the universe.

There have been many things in my life I’ve pursued with vigor, some successfully, some less so, but there has always come a point where flame died out, lacking any desire to keep burning.

I remember back in the early millennium, I had an industry article published about a national award I had won three years in a row for my contributions in the field of customer service (within the transport sector in the UK); it said something like “Shona Shines”. While it created many opportunities I was acutely aware that I didn’t want to claim the label of customer service strategist as ‘my passion’.

Having gone down this path, uncovering root causes for poor service, I discovered there were bigger issues to tackle. This led to the wider field of the customer experience as a whole, which in turn led to bigger issues around corporate cultures and structures and the role of the individual within those. This in its turn led to bigger questions about society’s systems and structures as a whole.

When I decided to start focusing my questions and thoughts through these articles over three years ago, my conclusion was that any change begins within each one of us. We are the ones with the power to change the world, when we change who we are being within it.

So it seems strange, having embarked on this ‘journey to me’ as I call it, while I am much clearer on who I am, I still struggle with this issue of my ‘light’ or passion.

What unlocked this question for me was rephrasing it from “what is my light?” to “what lights me up?”

That is a much easier question. In fact, when I made a list of my heart’s desires, it became obvious why I struggle with the question. The things that light me up are not activities per se, they are more subjective experiences.

What I am passionate about are things like:

• having an ‘ah ha’ moment in each day
• catching a wave of inspiration and riding it
• helping others feel into their own intuitive guidance
• assisting my children’s desire to feel their freedom and express who they are in the world
• expanding my horizons through travel and connecting in with people who live in quite different places and circumstances to mine,
• letting each person have their own truth
• having enough space to feel the inner stillness within me on a regular basis (if not consistently)
• and advocating for transparent communications, more evolved leadership and healthcare, education, government and economic systems.

Looking back, while I didn’t always have this one burning thing I wanted to pursue, I have always pursued whatever felt like the most interesting and enticing of the things before me at the time. When I look now at my list of passions, I can see why I’ve not been able to give it a label. The list, like me, is subjective and always evolving.

I think perhaps that is the most important thing, to go after the things that appeal and beckon, rather than leave them on the dusty shelves within our cluttered minds somewhere.  It really doesn’t matter if what you want to pursue is an activity or simply something that starts as a question in your head, it’s being courageous enough to go after it that is important.

So what is your list? What are you passionate about?

Once you have your list, keep pursuing those things you are passionate about. Take any opportunities that come your way to expand within them and upon them, then you will have found your light and are letting it shine. Keep following and growing the light and it will lead you through your best life.

 If what you read here resonates and you’d like a fresh perspective on a situation in your own life, feel free to contact me. There’s no strings attached, I simply and truly enjoy helping where I can, click here for further information. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog

“Finding my Truth North gives me the courage to focus my energy where I believe it should be, not according to what is popular or pleasing to others.” Jennifer Cummings, Author

My friend and I had been discussing our different perspectives over a protracted conversation. Her tone fell flat, disappointed that I seemed rather dismissive of the ways and abilities of the Shaman.  Another friend, observing the conversation, commented it was like watching one of those high brow literature discussions, except on spirituality.

Perhaps we sounded like we knew what we were talking about, I suspect our adoption of Alberto Villoldo’s analogy of the particle and the field may have sounded somewhat intellectual. In reality, we are just two people trying to find our own version of our truth.

We are both very much motivated in our quest, earnestly searching for answers from many sources, the best of which is – in my opinion - inside our own hearts.

It’s a strange thing, beliefs. My friend and I would both agree we are spiritual but, beyond agreeing on the existence of a higher intelligence, it was quite fascinating to uncover where our similarities and differences lie.

That said, I suspect we are more alike than different; it’s just that our differences define the edges of the relationship between us.

I find it a fine line to allow someone their beliefs and be interested in exploring them and comparing them to my own, without appearing either disparaging or so keen that I might want to adopt them.

This was likely what my friend was sensing as we discussed a Shaman’s abilities. I was not shunning her beliefs, it’s just that some aspects of those don’t resonate with my own truth. While the Shaman’s ways are a bit too abstract to appeal to my nature, I actually hold them in absolute reverence.

When I wrote an article last year called Awkward Social Conversations About Your Beliefs it was interesting to see what it elicited. One man who conversed with me on the subject was quite keen to discover and categorise my beliefs (he had a stab at the Dharmic faiths), whereas I think he was really just trying to orientate himself on whether to pay me any heed.

That was how I felt back in 2014 when I had an ‘awakening’, which I will define as the process of moving from a vague sense of something bigger to a more conscious awareness of it, and then a friend invited me to see Eckhart Tolle at the city theatre.

My first thought was “who’s he?” accompanied by feeling a bit threatened that this person might not believe what I believe and try to convince me otherwise. Having just discovered my truth, I felt a bit protective of it and I didn’t want to hear anything that might contradict or convince me of something else at that point.

Then I read The Power of Now and, instead of contradiction, it inspired me to new depths of my freshly founded beliefs about the world. Not only did I buy a ticket to accompany my friend to his talk, I also signed up for the Presence Through Movement class beforehand with his partner, Kim Eng.

Kim’s class was another turning point in my life, she’s an amazing teacher, again adding new words and depth to my thoughts, feelings and beliefs.

That led to my exit from the corporate arena and opened me up to more seeking. I started to write to help focus my thoughts, and began to share my writing to encourage others to do what they love and become the person they are on the inside.

Shortly afterwards Sounds True (a multimedia publishing house) ran a free month-long event with founder Tami Simon interviewing a whole raft of authors about their relationship with spirituality and their experience of awakening. There were as many divergent experiences as there were similarities, and I realised then that there is no one truth, only one’s own truth.

No one else has my DNA, my heritage, ancestry or experiences, nor the lenses through which I see the world; we are each unique. And so our truths are similarly so, speaking to us in different ways.

When I’m open to new information, I’ll either happen upon it or go and seek it. I don’t like even the faintest whiff that someone might be trying to convince me to their way of thinking on anything. I’ve had enough of that in life.

It’s my observation that we humans appear to have a bad habit of trying too hard to emulate philosophies or principles that someone else has lived by. Systems, rules, and rituals then get created, based on someone’s interpretation of these philosophies, and there becomes a ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ way to do things.

This isn’t just unique to religious groups, it happens in all walks of life. Yet I’m fundamentally not into a one-size-fits-all of anything. I don’t care how good, how amazing or how miraculous it’s been in someone else’s life, it might not be for me.

It’s not that I’m closed to new things, it’s more like I feel the other person is making a judgment; that what they have is better for me than anything I might have already.  No one else is invited into my belief system, in fact it would repel any followers, since no one else is walking in these shoes.

The most empowering thing about more consciously exploring who I am, and what I believe, is a more solid sense of what my needs actually are. My default belief system, like yours, was formed by my early experiences growing up. When I examined the things I believed, I found there was a lot that simply didn’t serve me at all.

Often, while attempting to ‘be a good person’ or ‘do the right thing’ or simply just fit in, I’d find myself doing activities and making commitments that the inner me was really not on board with, and I’d be stressed, anxious or unhappy too much of the time.

There are so many ways to think about the world, the things that happen to us and the things we have control over. I have now more consciously woven my beliefs together from a smorgasbord of offerings I’ve heard, read, seen, felt or experienced over a number of years. More than that, I’m constantly resetting my compass as my beliefs evolve.

I personally feel I’ve hit upon a truth when it’s something that inspires me and empowers me in the here and now. I certainly don’t hold any beliefs that would do the opposite.

But I also accept that others do; and I’m okay with that. Of course I’d love it if everyone believed in things that empowered them and made them happy, but since only experience can really teach each of us anything, the best I can do is be an example and inspire others to explore their own beliefs. 

To make conscious decisions, rather than run on default, when it comes to every aspect of my life is hugely satisfying and liberating.  

Just as I would encourage anyone and everyone to explore and be who they truly are, I think a huge part of that is about claiming our own truths without the need to explain or justify them to anyone else. If you can set your own true north, you’ll never get lost, you will always manage to navigate the way towards your best life.

If what you read here resonates and you’d like a fresh perspective on a situation in your own life, feel free to contact me. There’s no charge or strings attached, I truly enjoy helping where I can, click here for further information. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.
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Beyond religion, what is grace? Here is my experience as I sat on the beach, hot on the heels of writing How Do You Want to Feel Today, summed up in a poem:

Grace, a word for which I’ve had no use
One I associated with religion’s noose
Yet yesterday as a man said to me
“What does the rest of the day hold for thee?”
I pondered a moment and looked outside
There I saw some bright blue skies
"To the beach I will go and walk in the sand"
Nature’s way of taking my hand
 
As I walked and felt the sun’s heat
Through the cold nip of the air and the waves biting at my feet
There was a feeling that swelled inside
One that came quicker than the rhythm of the tide
A growing sense of anticipation
Arising from the emancipation
The freeing of the real me inside
Allowing it to take the lead with pride
Forsaking all that I had known
In the world of thoughts and form
 
Two little dogs ran round and around
I giggled with glee as their owner frowned
That feeling of freedom, of joie de vivre
Of letting it go, restraint taking its leave
I looked at the sky
Where two seagulls flew
Like joggers together, basking anew
In the company of another who enjoys the same
In like minds they flew, enjoying their game
 
Small white clouds gathered in the distance
As I looked I thought in that instant
"Go ahead, take this moment of grace"
Here, now, in this beautiful place
 
I giggled again, the sun to my face
At the irony of hearing such a word as ‘grace’
Yet all the while knowing
The truth of it showing
The feeling inside
From which I cannot hide
All these things that I see
Are connected to me
 
The good and the bad
The happy, the sad
All together in this world of ours
As loved as if we are delicate flowers
 
Now I sit and reflect at that moment on the beach
The voice still within me, the feelings within reach
Take this moment of grace
Regardless of what place
 
If all around there is concrete and sound
Just a window you need find
If not imagine it in your mind
Look up at the sky, at the clouds at the snow
Whatever surrounds you, just know
You need not believe in any one thing
Except the beauty of you and the joy that you bring
 
For grace abounds and can always be found
In each and every little thing around
The secret to finding it, is letting unwind
Those stories about yourself, locked in your mind
The ones about you that began from birth
Your very arrival upon this earth
The well meaning guidance you received
From those around you that believed
They knew best, how to help you along
Rather than trusting intuition’s song
 
 
Yet you can find your own truth
If only you will let loose
The thoughts, the beliefs that are holding you back
The person that you were born to be, a little off track
Know that you will always be
A person that is worthy of being the real me
Let the sun shine upon your face
Take in this moment, take your grace

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shonakeachie.com is both a place where you can continue to read my articles (and even watch videos...soon), and it’s a portal for potential clients to get insights and connect with my consulting and mentoring services.  It’s aimed at those who want to create change in their life or those seeking to evolve their business.
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