Finding Your Purpose – the Magic of Those Who Believe in You

Some people know their purpose, they have dreams and goals and pursue them with vigour. Go them!

But what if you don’t know your purpose, yet feel there must be more to life than you are living?

That was me, and still is in some ways. Uncovering my life’s purpose has been a process of tiny steps, serendipitous moments, sorting through the wanted and unwanted, figuring out who I am beneath the shroud of a lifetime of gathered beliefs and trying out lots of ideas.

I agree wholeheartedly with Annette Noontil’s words “It is our absolute need to look inside and find our purpose; to know where we came from, what we are doing here and where we are going. Then we can move into fulfilling our purpose and not waste our time here.”

When I met my mentor twelve years ago, I had just wanted someone objective to talk to, be accountable to even, as I’d just moved countries and was starting afresh. The questions Annette Noontil poses were on my mind. So I asked someone I knew (who was on my wavelength) if they could recommend anyone, and that led me to my mentor.

While she works internationally by phone, I was fortunate to live nearby. From the first day I met her, she held a vision beyond all I could articulate at that point. I can’t remember the conversation specifically, but it felt like someone saying:

“Oh, I recognise you. That shell on the outside isn’t really you; you just had to develop that for protection. When you were a tiny seedling, barely taken hold, someone tried to shape you and it bruised and hurt; so you retreated within and developed an outer protection. But you are still whole inside that shell and we can retrieve that seed of who you are and give her the time, space and nourishment to grow and blossom.”

It took me many years to sift through what is me, the true essence, rather than the shell I’d identified with as being me for so long. My mentor, who was probably more of a coach at that point, rarely gave me any answers. Instead, she would encourage me to find my own, relentlessly reflecting back (and amplifying) the salient points of whatever was going on for me, but from a broader perspective.

I was the little seed taking root again down in the rich soil of authenticity, she was soaring above the treetops, her view expansive. She knew I couldn’t yet see the sun, but she would encourage me to feel its warmth, to take my nourishment and to just keep going.

And along the way, although for a long time I was still so completely buried in a life that knew only that outer shell, these were my moments of fresh air.

When I started writing, it was as a young shoot breaking through. As I have continued to write and to explore all the aspects of who I am, I have grown in awareness, confidence and strength. Now I’m a bud brimming and beginning to burst open, entirely transplanted in my authenticity.

Then my partner asked me why I continue to book in time with my mentor; I guess he figures I’ve gone a long way down the road of asking (and answering for myself) a lot of life’s big questions. I can tell you, without skipping a beat, my purpose relates to creating a higher level of conscious awareness on Earth.

But I want more; the part of me that shares through these articles is poised for expansion. Yet, like many of you, I am also bound to the responsibilities of life: looking after my kids, being in a relationship, running a household, supporting my partner’s business and cultivating our garden among other things.

Any expansion will have to come from serendipitous moments rather than me actively pursuing anything specific. I have begun from a point of ease rather than effort, building a pretty credible platform on my own terms, and intend to continue that way.

And that is where having someone who believes in me, and can see that ‘more’ is inevitable, is critical. The part of me that writes and shares with you is the part least understood by most of the people in my life.

So I cannot adequately express the gratitude I feel to have someone that understands the importance of this to my very existence and continues to encourage the brimming bud to blossom in the rays of the sun.

Someone who believes in us is a magical thing. There are many quotes about believing in yourself, but someone else who believes in you – even when you don’t feel like you can believe in yourself – is a huge motivator to keep going.

When you are earnest in your endeavours, my experience is that people step forwards to help, you just have to be brave enough to take it. It doesn’t mean you have to do everything they suggest, in fact they may not suggest much at all, but take the encouragement and use it to fuel whatever resonates.

I’ve come to the conclusion it is common to be surrounded by people who can’t see or believe what you can feel in your heart to be true. As much as others love you, and may want the best for you, they can see only their own horizons. That means you will have to seek out people who love what you love and have seen the sun rise and set many times over a different horizon.

When I was little I announced one day, after a swimming lesson, that I was joining the local swim squad. My parents were thrust into a world of driving me to and from pools in the cold darkness of the early morning and late evenings as I trained.

I was earnest, and I was disciplined; I showed up every day for years. One of the coaches took me under his wing and volunteered his time to help me focus on my technique outside of the usual training hours. We studied Mark Spitz, who had won seven gold medals and set new world records in each of those races in the 1972 Olympic games (the year I was born).

My parents loved and supported me, but this was not their arena. The head coach had written me off, but not Bill Tinney and not my next coach, Owen Flannigan (who we affectionately called Mr. F). So there was a measure of satisfaction when Mr. F told me one day I’d just narrowly missed being picked for the national swim team.

However, it was also a defining moment as I realised that wasn’t what I wanted. I had really been enjoying pushing my body but my most abiding memory is of the meditative effect of swimming up and down the lanes mile after mile, contemplating much.

So I thought of Mr. Tinney and Mr. F as I got back in the pool this morning, for the first time in earnest in over 30 years. Their time was not wasted, each cell of my body rejoiced as it got to move again, each limb remembered exactly what to do as I sliced through the water.  I won’t deny my underarms and shoulders ached somewhat, but in a good way.

There are not adequate words to express how thankful I feel to have these people – past and present –believe in me and help me along the way. If you have someone like that, embrace them; if not, go find them.

The effects of someone who believes in you and who has walked the path you are walking, or has walked with others who are further along the path than you are, is nothing short of magical.

And I can categorically say that, if you have been drawn to read this, there is more within you too. And the world will be a richer place when we can help you express it.

With thanks to a magical lady, Chrissy Ramsay, who holds a light for many. If you’d like a fresh perspective (and only that, it’s not advice you have to take or act upon) on a situation in your own life, feel free to contact me or click here for further information. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.