Presence Your True Needs, Talents and Desires to Step Into the State of Fullness

Image by Jacques GAIMARD from Pixabay

Let’s get the quick quip out the way; I’m not talking about loading up on the processed carbs until I have to unbutton my jeans just to get comfortable…I’m talking about coming into the fullness of who we are.

A friend commented that she can’t really remember a time when she felt in her fullness or even fully in her body. Fullness is defined as the state of being complete or whole, but if I use those terms I can’t help but wonder if that points to some deficiency, and I’m making myself feel wrong for simply being the best me I know how to be right now.

The idea that there are many parts to our psyche has roots in various schools of thought from Gestalt Theory and Internal Family Systems through to Jungian archetypal work. In her Completion Process, Teal Swan refers to the parts of us that we have denied, suppressed or disowned. The work is about identifying and reclaiming those parts, integrating them along with all our other parts.

For example, as a child there was a part of me that liked to sing, but I was told none of our family has good voices so we don’t sing. The part of me that likes to sing sat in the shadows for a very long time, not confident in airing my voice unless it was hidden among a larger crowd or in moments of solitude where no one else was around to hear.

Now in my fifties I realise that, while I may not be able to belt out a tune the way Aretha Franklin or Freddie Mercury could, my voice isn’t terrible. So now I make the effort to sing a few lyrics in front of others now and again when I’m being asked how a tune goes or I just have a particular song stuck in my head.

But there are many parts to my psyche that can present a more or less confident persona to the world, certainly there were many messages growing up (received through the family and society) about how I should behave. Therefore it’s those parts of me that I have denied, suppressed or disowned that I want to reclaim in order to embody the fullness of who I am.

Tony Robbins talks in terms of questioning which part of us is in the driving seat of our life, at any one time, and learning how to put the most resourceful parts there. I like this idea because there are certainly times when I will default into my less confident small child mode rather than the adult me who knows I can overcome and give things a go.

What I'm really passionate about is helping people live their most authentic life. I believe the more integrated the parts of our psyche are, the more aligned our outer and inner worlds are, and the better this world becomes to contribute to and live in. So rediscovering and reintegrating all the parts of me that were in some way quashed or ignored has become an ongoing commitment.

I guess for this reason I was attracted to a new group Briana MacWilliam set up recently which I took to be about love and ambition and presencing more of the feminine parts of our psyche in the world. This intrigues me as, having had a successful career in the corporate world and then having switched tracks to focus on bringing up my children, now my kids are growing up I want to be of service to the wider world.

That said, I have zero desire to return to the patriarchal corporate world and want to bring in more of the authentic and feminine energy I’ve been learning to cultivate within me. Although I’ve been coaching, learned a tremendous amount about developmental trauma, and published my personal reflections and lessons over the last eight years, I’ve yet to receive clarity on what the way forward is in my life from here.

This was another frustration my friend and I have in common, we both have much more clarity on what we don’t want, but as to what we do want, this has yet to become clear. And the trick in the meantime is to focus on things that are nourishing and fulfilling which distract us from the blank we are drawing on our way forward into the next phase of our careers and life.

But one thing I have come to trust over the years is that there is little point in investing energy and time into things that haven’t arisen from a point of clarity or inspiration. Any time in my life when I try to force things, I might achieve whatever I’m trying to do, but it doesn’t leave me feeling like I’m fulfilled.

Which really is where this meandering thought began, to step into the fullness of oneself has a lot to do with feeling fulfilled, and actually one is the precursor to the other. When I am presencing my true needs, talents and desires in the world, I am much more likely to feel fulfilled than when I’m sacrificing or disregarding them.

And so I have concluded that in order for me to step into the fullness of who I am, it means focusing on and embracing those aspects of my life that feel fully me while remaining open to clues about those aspects that don’t yet feel in alignment.

Where in your life do you feel fulfilled? And which aspects of you feel in alignment with your true needs, desires, talents and gifts?

If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy  Overwhelm? Worry? Lack of Confidence? Parts Work and Its Importance to Your Growth, Heal Your Past Hurts To Help You Fulfill Your Potential, Take Back Your Power - Only One Thing Need Change for You to Feel Good, Life Really Does Support Your Deepest Desires (And How to Access Its Support) and  Should We Abandon Happiness as the Impossible Dream? To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.