​Life Really Does Support Your Deepest Desires

- And How to Access Its Support

​Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

I was listening to Claire Zammit coach someone this week in her workshop designed to help people break free from hidden power blocks. The particular block the lady had was around a deeply held desire to cultivate an intimate, growth-oriented relationship with a loving partner. Despite many attempts, she had yet to find the right person and has developed a story in her head about the universe perhaps having a different design for her life.

I recognised that story.

My deepest yearning is not the same; instead I feel a deep knowing that I am called to use my talents and gifts in service of others, but the answers about the next best step seem to evade me. Like the lady being coached, I have oftentimes accepted that – as my gran would say – what is for me won’t go by me, and I should just trust that life has a different plan right now.

But the yearning calls to me frequently, many times in each day; it refuses to remain subdued and feels like a dead weight inside. I constantly wonder what it is I am meant to be doing with my life, feeling a mix of emotions from the shame around a lack of contribution right now, to a lonely ache to be something more and blocked on moving forward.

Yet deep down I know life supports me in all I desire. I truly believe that, if something was not for me, I would not desire it. The desire is the seeds of creation I was born with, the beacon that calls me to the life I had intended when I volunteered to come forth.

I only have to look back on my life, and all the things that have happened, to see how life supports me. As Lance Allred, a former NBA player, said to Tami Simon in an interview about his new book The New Alpha Male:

“I’ve had to start over so many times in my life, and each time I look back and see how life has had my back, even when I didn’t feel like it did. And I can see how all of these experiences have set me up to be in a beautiful place that I could not have imagined in my own logical, analytical, left-brained head.”

Then a thought occurred to me last week as I caught part of a conversation between Jessica Ortner and a guest she was interviewing, it was about the upsides of sabotaging my success. As I chewed on that, I realised that, with not knowing my life path, there could be no more demands made on my time. I acknowledge I have a fear of overwhelm.

I’m someone who likes space around everything so I can fully experience and immerse myself in what is happening and have enough fluidity around it to dial it up or down or take it in a new direction. I don’t want the little spaces I’ve carved out taken up with other commitments.

When I dived into this using the parts work I described in Do You Really Know the Different Parts of You? I rediscovered the part of me who was joyful about some of the different aspects of working with people I experienced during my corporate career.

This more optimistic part of me was able to appreciate where the fear I had about overwhelm was coming from; life is busy. However, it was also a part of me that recognized there are many aspects of that busy life that are not bringing joy and – should I choose to redirect my energy to something more fulfilling – I can outsource those other aspects without feeling I’ve compromised anything.

It was the first time in a long while I had even reconnected with the part of me that believes that, not only can I have my deepest yearning, but it is my calling. This was very like the lady Claire was coaching, she had disconnected from her deepest desires and thus created a barrier between herself and the ways in which life was supporting her.

When Claire asked her to describe how it would feel to have the loving, connected relationship she was seeking, the lady gave a description that just sounded like a bullet point list we could all relate to in terms of words.

In that moment though I could hear so clearly what others have referred to in me, she was speaking from her head rather than her heart. I could not hear the yearning, the feeling, in her words. In contrast, when I was listening to Lance Allred talk I could hear the raw emotion when he talked about “so many deaths of so many dreams” and what it means to persevere.

Learning to tap into that heart space and be vulnerable is really the turning of a tide in my life. I’ve noticed it more in every aspect; the most authentic core of who I am is beginning to take its place in the sun.

What I found interesting, having been drawn to Claire Zammit’s work on Feminine Power and Lance Allred’s work on the New Alpha Male, is that both are singing from the same song sheet; both are deeply heart centred.

How heart centred are you? If you need help making that shift there are so many resources out there, including the ones I’ve mentioned here and the many others mentioned in my other articles. But the key thing is to become aware of our subconscious patterns and blocks and – to steal’s Lance’s phrase -  “catch them quicker” and recentre ourselves in alignment with our deepest desires.

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