​Embrace the Present Moment Consciously and Skillfully to Craft a Better Future

Image by Ri Butov from Pixabay

I drew a picture of how I’d been experiencing life recently, this wasn’t something I pictured and then drew, I just let it evolve as I chose each of the coloured pencils I wanted to use one at a time. What emerged was this tiny constricted version of my mind self surrounded by a little dark vortex with lots of sharp instruments and lightning bolts aimed at penetrating the vortex. This was in the top left corner of the page.

In the top right corner there was a bright sun with light rays shining all across the page, though they were unable to penetrate the little vortex. In the foreground of the picture there was a larger than life lady emerging from the Earth, from the sea and land, surrounded with trees and life. She had her arms outstretched to embrace it.

I knew immediately that what I was drawing depicted the limited and constricted life I lead when I’m in my head too much. It’s a very visual and visceral way for me to capture how much is “out there”, just under my nose, to be embraced and enjoyed when I can be more present to my life.

It was when I was walking along the beach recently that I realised how much I was living in my head at that moment. I caught myself playing through a conversation I predicted having in the future, ruminating on the likely twists and turns and all my possible reactions and responses.

If this were a scenario happening next week that would perhaps be more understandable, but this is something that may never take place – though I understand that by ruminating upon it I’m making it far more likely to occur.

“Once you let your past decide how you experience the present, you have destroyed your future” - Sadhguru

It is true that those various sharp weapons and lightning bolts depict real events and people who have perpetrated some insidious expectations and behaviours upon me in the past. It is completely understandable when I look at my past why I developed various coping mechanisms that perhaps don’t serve me well in the present.

Nevertheless, the aspect that wanted to be seen when I drew my picture is the aspect of me that anticipates – and therefore perpetuates - boundary violations.

Andie MacDowell’s performance in a recent movie I watched was of a woman holding her boundaries artfully, gracefully and assertively, it was wonderful to witness. In Tara Road, based on the Maeve Binchy novel of the same name, Andie MacDowell plays Marilyn Vine, a grieving American mother who does a house swap with Irish mother Ria Lynch. Ria’s husband of many years – a high flying property manager called Danny Lynch - betrayed her and left her for a younger woman who was pregnant with his baby.

As the movie progresses a number of Ria’s so-called friends and neighbours try to encroach on Marilyn’s (Andie MacDowell’s) space by turning up at the house unannounced and trying to barge their way in.

The epitome of Andie MacDowell’s graceful maneuvering was when Ria’s ex - who still had a key for the house and just let himself in while this American, who is a stranger to him, is house sitting – tries to take Ria’s car keys and paperwork for the house. As the movie had progressed, it had become evident what a self centered scum bag Danny Lynch really was.  So my admiration for Andie’s character Marilyn was at its height when - despite Danny standing right in her personal space in the kitchen of the house – she gently holds her ground and skillfully asserts both her own boundaries and some on behalf of Ria also. 

Given my own history with those in my life who had no regard for my boundaries – not that I knew I even had any, or that there was such a thing until recent years – I found this performance exquisite role-modeling of how to assert them. This is something I’m learning to do, and could only aspire to the elegance with which they were demonstrated in Tara Road.

Despite having moved on physically from the people and circumstances that put me in that position all the time, while I’m ruminating about future interactions my mind is still trapped in the past, anticipating future dangers, which is stopping me fully embracing the present.

Yet, the truth is, there is no real danger here other than that which I create in my head. I have done a lot of inner work, learned and am applying new communication skills (though not as artfully or gracefully as Andie MacDowell’s character yet) and simply wouldn’t let such self-centered people into my life again.

My future is down to me, and it relies on me fully embracing my present.

As I navigate the tendency to anticipate and perpetuate boundary violations, I am reminded that true liberation lies in embracing the present moment fully. To do that, I have to keep applying the basic principles I learned and shared many years ago on a video on my website, and continue to apply in my life:

• The first is to practice becoming the observer of my mind, which is something I’ve been able to do far more easily after years of meditation practice;
• The second is to take an active role in how I’m feeling, rather than letting circumstances or people dictate my mood. This is built upon the first principle, and often requires different approaches depending on who the people and what the circumstances are;
• The third principle is to embrace change. Impermanence or transience are states of life here on Earth. Nothing remains the same, and when we learn or achieve one thing, another appears to keep us moving forwards.

Drawing inspiration from the graceful boundary-setting portrayed in the film "Tara Road," I am also reminded of the importance of asserting myself with dignity and grace. It is a lesson I continue to learn and integrate into my own journey of self-discovery and growth.

And as I reflect on the journey, depicted in my recent drawing and the insights gained from it, I am reminded of the intricate dance between past experiences, present challenges, and future aspirations. The imagery of the constricted mind surrounded by a vortex of past traumas, contrasted with the radiant sun and embracing figure of possibility, speaks volumes about the complexity of human existence.

What about you? As we continue to walk this path of self-discovery and empowerment, I invite you to join me in embracing the richness of the present moment and the boundless possibilities it holds. Together, let us cultivate a future rooted in mindfulness, resilience, and unshakeable self-belief.

If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy What Resentment, Frustration and Pain Have to Do With Your Boundaries, Presence Your True Needs, Talents and Desires to Step Into the State of Fullness, Take the Quantum Leap: Nurture Your Creativity and Intuition to Craft a Life of Purpose,  and Give Yourself the Gift of Presence to Relieve the Torture of Stress. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.