​Are You Overlooking the Obvious Opportunities in Your Life?

Image by Steve Buissinne from Pixabay

I got an email today from someone in lockdown who is struggling to see any of the positive aspects in her life. It is serendipitous as I’d just been ruminating on the messages life has sent me over the years that I’d completely missed.

In hindsight I can see that some things I disregard or push away are the things I need to embrace. In fact, all the things in my life that feel uncomfortable, stressful or painful are all telling me something important.

The general thought pattern in my head goes like this “The thing I feel most inspired towards/want the most is X (fill in the blank), this particular issue has nothing to do with that and it doesn’t inspire me so I’m not going to focus on it.” In fact, it is fair to say I usually feel it would be easier to focus on all the other, less important, things if only I could have the one thing I desired the most first.

That blank (the thing I feel more inspired towards/want the most in my life) has been different things for me at different times. It’s not something that usually changes on a daily basis, but rather something that becomes an overarching or dominant theme for an extended period of time. And the longer I don’t have it, the more strongly I want it and the more I think about it, yearn for it and feel its absence.

As I was reminded by Claire Zammit in her Unlock Your Feminine Power talk recently, I do have aspirations in all areas of my life, and it is often helpful to focus on something of less importance in order to create some positive momentum.

There is no greater example of this in my life than when I wanted to start a family. After years of trying and four unsuccessful pregnancies, as I describe in Food for Your Best Life, it was only when I felt I’d done all I could and decided instead to focus on my overall health and wellbeing the way forward presented itself.

However, this is obviously not a lesson easily learned for me as I still have a tendency to focus on my main desire to the exclusion of all else. Yet when I turn to the other areas in my life that need attention, and are usually easier to get traction on, I get so much positive momentum. Usually, in hindsight, I see they were all intrinsically linked like a magic code to unlocking my deeper desire.

I’ll give you some examples. Despite my experiences that led to finally having the family I had dreamed of, I had gotten off track with my diet after the kids arrived. For a number of years I knew my body fitness and health needed some attention but it was not my dominant theme. My dominant theme was about uncovering my life’s purpose.

I allowed myself the excuses of a busy work life and a busy home life, and had argued in my mind that I could get through until about age sixty without making drastic changes, by then I’d have the time and energy to focus on it as the kids would be grown.

Then a couple of years ago life decided it had enough of my crappy excuses and sent some stronger messages as I contended with my first kidney stone, which I wrote about in What Are Our Thought Patterns Really Doing for Us?

I knew the changes that I wanted to make, I wanted to take up swimming again and eat a diet that resembled something consistently closer to nature rather than anything processed. Having given my mind permission to ignore this until I was sixty, my body rebelled.

My body had decided instead that my mid-forties were more suitable and delivered me some straight forward calls to action through my osteopath as I wrote about in Get Moving to Get Moving: Where Physical Exercise Fits into the Soul Journey and Listening to the Signs – My Road to Health.

In the midst of this I realised my life’s purpose - as discussed in How My Kids Helped Me Find My Purpose (and it is not them) – and my deepest desire then evolved into a desire to understand how to live my life’s purpose, how to be of service in the here and now.

Meanwhile the relationship I have with my partner is another example of an area of my life that was (and is) important to me, and it wanted its time in the sun despite my attention being focused on how to live my life’s purpose. As this year got underway, having come out of the long summer school holidays here in the southern hemisphere and an extended visit from a family member drawing to a close, I was ready for a big out breath; finally some time to myself.

However, only four days later my partner had an accident. Instead of out working, he found himself at home, incapacitated, for a few months. To give this context, he is a person who likes to be productive and enjoys being out and about serving his customers, meanwhile I enjoy the solitude that (and the kids being at school) brings.

This happened before our country was particularly concerned about the spread of COVID19 and a month before lockdown. I won’t deny that I had my moment of anguished “why me?” and “are you kidding me?” cries to the universe. My partner and I had not spent that much time alone together since before the kids were born and, while it required some major mental shifts on both our parts, it was a true gift.

Now, in light of the lock down, it has actually turned out to be such a blessing. That time together enabled us to be on a more solid footing together before the kids got added to the 24/7 environment.  As I described in Is This the Opportunity of a Lifetime? It is allowing us to work on our whole family dynamic and relationships.

Would I have chosen any of these things? The answer would be an emphatic no. However, I cannot deny that these are all areas of my life that are flourishing as a result of giving them some positive attention. That being the key, I think, they are all now receiving my positive attention rather than the negative light I saw them in beforehand.

Another area of my life coming to light, that I have been pushing away for some time, is about creative expression. I decided the other day that – while we are all in isolation together – I have to find a project I can work on in snatches that gives me an outlet for expressing that deeper part of me. The obvious answer, since I love to explore and focus my thoughts through writing is to write a book (or at least start one); something many people have suggested.

This idea is one I have never really felt inspired towards, but when I consider how uninspired I was about improving my health and relationships, and how well that has turned out, I’m thinking it’s an idea at least worthy of consideration since it keeps coming up.

It also tackles another area that I’ve been ignoring, and that is taking time for myself when the rest of the family are around. If ever there was a prime opportunity for cultivating that it is now.

There is a quote by Rumi “what you seek, is seeking you”, so what is seeking you right now? What challenges are you facing, and therefore what opportunities are staring you right in the face? If ever there was a time to really confront the obvious, it is now.

If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy in Life Really Does Support Your Deepest Desires (And How to Access Its Support) or What to Do if You Feel Trapped By Your Circumstances. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.