​The Alchemy of Mentorship and Self-Discovery in Unlocking Growth

Image by Mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

Although I had done a lot of personal growth work in my earlier career, when I left the corporate world ten years ago I determined to figure out who the real me is. I’ve read a lot of books, attended some courses, taught myself a lot of techniques and taken advantage of every free master class that resonated.

That said, it’s been a time in my life where my focus has been primarily based on raising mentally, emotionally and physically healthy kids, so neither time nor money for personal growth were in ready supply.

Despite these challenges, I remained resolute in confronting unhelpful patterns of thought and behaviour, determined to uncover my true values, needs, and desires, free from external influences. I wanted to know who the real Shona Keachie at my authentic core is.

I have taken lessons from my past and, as I read this week, know there's a reason for every path we walk. Every choice, every encounter, every triumph, every defeat, every love, every loss, has a purpose. Whether it's to build strength, to inspire change, to encourage forgiveness, or to facilitate growth, it marks a stepping stone on our path of self-discovery and every turn we take is valuable in its own unique way.

Recently, I have been reflecting on the transition from one life chapter to another, recognizing this as an opportunity for a significant energy shift. Sometimes in life, though, it can be extremely difficult to tell where exactly I’m going. It’s hard to see the forest for the trees, finding my own path can be a little difficult. And I need follow my own path, of that I am certain.

To build momentum and navigate my path forward, I acknowledge the need for guidance and support from others. I have some great friends around me with similar interests and values, but I also know that reaching out for help at a time of need is nothing to feel ashamed of. It’s been quite some time since I last had a mentor, and right now I can use someone who is further along the path than me in living their passion.

I understand I need a little help to evaluate my current situation and, while I probably have all the resources and capabilities within me to turn my dreams into reality, I could use a guide to provide insight. Then, after reading one of Santa Montefiore’s novels in which she wrote “Max reached out to the higher power he knew was with him on every step of his path and put out a simple request, one which, oddly, he had never asked before: Help me”, I put out my own request.

Within a week, an opportunity arose to engage with someone whose work I have long admired, someone I never thought to approach individually As I questioned making this investment in myself, I realised that this is one of the few people I admire and would trust to hold this space for me.

So I responded outlining my situation to sense check that this would be a good match and, within hours, I received a response that absolutely floored me with its razor sharp insight, articulating what I hadn’t been able to see quite so clearly from within the forest.

I immediately recognized the truth in their observation that my uncertainty about my path stemmed from previously poor boundaries with others and myself, especially because that harsh inner critic voice drove me to exhaustion, and my career was what covered/suppressed its root causes.

They noted my unresolved exhaustion trauma, stemming from past boundary challenges and connections with people, and observed that my core driver is internal struggle. Therefore my most toxic relationship is with that part of me, not other people, which is a survival response I no longer need, but haven’t yet felt safe to let go.

While being of service (in a way that invigorates me while helping others) is one of my top goals, I do spend a lot of time ruminating about things that aren’t serving my highest purpose. This can consume my mental energy. And when they asked me to list my most challenging emotions, from most intense to least intense, again I could see just how much anger (at myself for allowing those boundary infringements) still exhausts me and how little there is left for creating the career of my dreams and for parenting.

Having taken a somewhat anxious three and a half kilometer ride in a gondola dangling 330 metres above rainforest canopy last week while on holiday, it gave me a deeper appreciation for the value of having someone in my life who can not only see the bigger picture, but can help assuage my fears. Sometimes we just need help from someone more experienced.

Going after our highest ambitions, desires, and potential isn’t a solo effort. Listening to Sah D’Simone talk about his new book Spiritually, We he quoted a story about one of the Buddhists, a very developed disciple, that asked Buddha, “Hey, how important is friendship on the spiritual path?” And he replied, “Friendship is the path.” That really informed Sah’s book, how much our relationship with other people (and how we relate to others and how we engage with others) really informs the depth of our liberation.

So while I know a path will open up to me, one which gives me hope and excitement and the promise of something truly incredible waiting at the end of it, it’s not here just yet. First I need to clear my mental and emotional space, take care of myself, and regain my strength. Only then will I be ready to embark on the new path life has in store for me.

Investing in someone with passionate energy and enterprising resilience, who has alchemised their past struggles into their greatest strengths, will also certainly help inspire these qualities within me, and then I will be better able to determine the most effective course of action.

The final thing I read this week, which is related and really resonated, was “When you have planted a seed, it will take some time before it grows into a fruit-bearing tree. Earth is the slowest moving but most stable of the elements. They say that a watched pot never boils, and watched seed never seems to sprout”.

This isn’t the start of the next best thing, this is the start of a journey along the path of my next chapter in life, and expecting to see the journey ahead would be unrealistic. It’s simply time to take the next step I can see.

Seeking guidance is not a sign of weakness, but a testament to our commitment to self-improvement and authenticity. I encourage you, too, to reflect on your own journey. Are there areas where you could benefit from the insight of a mentor or the support of a friend? What steps can you take to clear your mental and emotional space, allowing yourself to grow and thrive? Remember, every path we walk has a purpose, and each step forward brings us closer to our true selves.

​If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy Finding Your Purpose – the Magic of Those Who Believe in You, From Lone Wolf to Team Player - Navigating the Symphony of Collaboration in Life, Believe In Yourself Even if You Feel No One Else Does and What Makes You Feel Uncomfortable and Is It a Growth Opportunity? To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.