​Reclaim Your Power - How to Break Free from a World That Runs You

Image by funario from Pixabay

It may surprise some Americans to know that, while their national election was on my radar, I hadn’t realised the outcome was due this week. I can’t help but feel for the people living there right now. Even those who voted for the outcome were, in many ways I think, manipulated by the media and political systems. It’s a sad reflection of what happens when a society is consumed by frustration and a desire for drastic change – and a warning to us all.

We’ve seen it time and time again throughout history—people who feel failed by their own society, electing leaders who promise to fix it, only to bring more harm, driven by their own self-interest rather than genuine care for the people they say they serve. The thing is, this cycle doesn’t just play out on a grand political scale. It's something we all experience in our own lives, feeling pushed by systems beyond our control, often making us forget that we have the power to create real change within ourselves and our communities.

In the 1980s, growing up as a teen in the UK, we were in awe of capitalist America. As a nation, it seemed to do everything bigger and better. But even then, people were divided on those “loud-mouthed Yanks”, a mix of admiration and mild irritation at the brashness.

Personally, I was thrilled to step off a plane onto American soil for the first time in 1993. I remember feeling a bit overwhelmed as I landed at Newark, trying to navigate my way to Chicago. An impatient security lady pulled me forward with an exasperated “You’re making me hot, lady!” Thankfully, a kind stranger lent me his calling card so I could reach my friend from a phone booth, a moment of kindness in the chaos of figuring out my way in a new country.

Despite the rocky start, I loved America. I had a scrapbook full of magazine cutouts of all the places I wanted to visit, a whole bucket list of U.S. destinations. Over the years, I managed to see many of those places. America felt vibrant—its vast landscapes, incredible range of consumer choices, and the colorful mix of people made it a place like no other.

But time, progress, and maybe maturity have changed my view. I now look back on that era as perhaps America’s peak moment of how it wanted to present itself to the world: in control, leading the way in every arena. Now, it seems different—less authentic, consumed by capitalism and consumerism, and many other “-isms”, seemingly blind to the impact of these forces on the collective good. The systems and media that once felt innovative now seem like they’re in a cycle of reinforcing individualism over true collective awareness.

That said, there are still incredible people in America, many who are deeply aware, even as others remain—if the election results are anything to go by—stuck in older ways of thinking. The extremes can be stark, but maybe that’s the environment where transformation grows strongest. Perhaps the election shows that real change won’t come from within the established systems, but from people who are tuned in to something deeper.

In many ways, I suspect that countless people in the ‘Western world’ have experienced echoes of this shift. Certainly, when I moved from the UK to New Zealand a couple of decades ago, I recognised aspects of the same systemic issues in both countries. In fact, it was on that note I was having another philosophical debate with ChatGPT, owned by OpenAI.

We started out discussing the influence that big tech and governments have over our lives, especially with companies like OpenAI being backed by massive investors like Microsoft and other venture capital groups. As we talked, we realised that when profit and control become the driving forces, regular people lose privacy and choice—and the systems seem to actively encourage this.

The deeper we went, the clearer it became: control isn’t just a byproduct; it’s often the end goal. Power tends to attract people who are more interested in their own gain than in what's best for everyone. This explains why issues like environmental harm and inequality continue to worsen, despite all the talk about progress.

By the end of our conversation, we found a kind of answer to the frustration. While it might feel impossible to change these huge systems, our focus can be on supporting leaders and movements that prioritise people and the planet over profit. Even if we can’t overhaul everything, we can choose to stand with values and people who prioritise empathy, sustainability, and true well-being. Small choices add up, and that's where change begins.

This, I think, urges us to look beyond the social and cultural expectations of what 'success' should look like in our lives and really ask ourselves what worthiness, ambition, and success mean to us. When I read this during the week, it truly resonated:

'There is so much pressure in society today, and within our families, to perform at a certain level—to live a certain way. We are expected to be so many things at once: fun, friendly, outgoing, hardworking, organized, generous with our time, financially “secure,” and ambitious. Doing it all at once is a high bar to meet for anyone, and yet we are bombarded with messages that suggest if we are not all of those things, we have somehow failed or not “met our potential”. Deep down, we know that is not the case.'

For me, I’m at a pivotal moment in my life, blending personal growth with professional expertise to carve a new direction that aligns with my evolving purpose. Over the past decade, the things I’ve accomplished reflect both resilience and a deep commitment to personal transformation, laying a powerful foundation for the work I want to do moving forward.

I’ve looked to the 'outside.' I’ve lived on the hamster wheel that our societal expectations and systems perpetuate—and I still do, to a certain extent, with the children’s schooling obligations and the realities of navigating public education, healthcare, judicial, and economic systems, to name just a few. But I’ve also searched inward, for my own definition of success. One that’s not about proving my value to others or being everything all at once, but instead connected to my intrinsic self-worth.

My conclusion? To lead our way out of the corrupt illusion around us, we need to do what truly makes us happy. We must bring love and joy to those closest to us, and find value in the small victories we achieve each day. This is a critical part of reclaiming our sense of worth and purpose.

For all of this, I do recognise that many people are so deeply identified with the hamster wheel that they can’t even distinguish between their own choices and what true self-empowerment can look like. We’ve been so entrained to chase money—and, I acknowledge, bills are a real thing—that it can feel nearly impossible to claw our way out long enough to ask, 'What am I really doing here? What is this life about?'

And even if we do get that rare chance to pause, life has a way of sucking us back in before we can truly contemplate the answer. There’s the phone call or text from a friend, the job to go to, kids to pick up, dinner to make, games to attend, or maybe we find ourselves lost in the passive world of social media or gaming, losing hours of our attention.

These bigger societal forces have designed it this way. But then, what? We wake up one day, 85 years old, and wonder what it’s all been for? Or we’re so worn out that we’re just waiting for the end, trying to enjoy the little we have left? Is that really it? The dregs of life? The truth is, the only person who can change this is you. It starts with engaging with life in ways that serve your inner desires and bring you closer to what you truly want out of this existence.

As you read this, take a moment to reflect on your own life. Where are you caught in the cycle, and what’s one small step you can take today to move toward a life you run, rather than one that’s run for you? It doesn’t need to be a big change—just something simple, like carving out time for yourself, saying no to something draining, or reconnecting with what truly brings you joy. Small, intentional steps, taken consistently, can slowly shift the balance and lead you toward a life that feels more aligned with who you truly are. So, what’s your next step?

​If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy Crafting Your Path in a Changing World - Embrace Your Uniqueness and Make an Impact, Reclaim Your Personal Freedoms: The Path to Empowerment Amid Alluring Promises, Be the Change You Want to See, AI: Your New Partner in Personal Growth and Creativity? and Change the World One Day at a Time. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.