Is It Time to Break Free of That Holding Pattern You’ve Been In?

Just as I was about to start writing I saw a note from Morgan Harper Nichols which said:
 
“When you start to feel
Like things should have
Been better this year,
Remember the mountains and valleys that got you here
 
They are no accidents
And those moments were not in vain
You are not the same
 
You have grown and you are growing
You are breathing, you are living
You are wrapped in endless, boundless grace, and things will get better
There’s more to you than yesterday.”
 
This felt quite apt as I had just been contemplating the nature of endurism, which I’d been reading about in an article by Teal Swan. She writes about this as staying in a situation that is against your best interests because there is a perception of powerlessness – specifically there is a perception that there is no way to make an improvement to the situation.
 
This week I have spent time with some amazing people who are enduring in so many aspects of life. I’ve been deeply struck and moved by the lack of dignity and support available for those people in our society who become unable to physically care for themselves. So much responsibility is placed on those closest to them, regardless of how physically able they are themselves.
 
Some of that responsibility is self driven, from a perceived lack of choices. So when I read Teal’s words of advice to “make a decision to get out of any holding pattern in your life rather than passively wait for change” it resonated. Her recommendation is to evaluate decisions from the perspective of imagining how we might feel looking back on those decisions after we are dead. And to become as aware as possible of the positive and negative consequences of those decisions before we make them.
 
I can see through observing others this week in a holding pattern, I too have been in a holding pattern when it comes to parenting versus my career, and I can feel that the time is now right to break free of it.
 
Holding patterns are not bad or good inherently. As Morgan Harper Nichols said above, we have grown and we are growing. Life never stands still in all aspects.
 
I may have been in a holding pattern with regards my career in some ways for a good few years now; I haven’t actively pursued anything other than my goals as a parent, my personal health and wellbeing and my personal authenticity and growth. Yet, as a result, I am far from the same person that exited the corporate world when my children were young.
 
What may appear as a juxtaposition to Teal’s words about passively waiting for change, were words I read from Brad Spencer that also resonated:
 
“In our modern Society it may sound crazy to let go of control, but the ancient masters knew that it is often better to let nature take its course instead of try to control things. Everything is vibration and a calm, peaceful mind creates a vibration that allows for perfect harmony to manifest in our world. Take our hands off the wheel for a while and allow the world to shape itself.”
 
In truth I do not see these as contradictory, I see them as complimentary. There is a time for passivity, and a time for action. In creating anything new or any kind of change, it’s a process. That process usually begins with observation, with noticing what is and what isn’t, with what is wanted and what is unwanted.
 
There are so many facets to our lives, it would make sense that each one is in varying stages and degrees of reinvention. Certainly as I read Teal’s words about breaking free of holding patterns, it was the career aspect of my life that stepped forward, other aspects are a different phases and not calling me to make decisions.
 
What I have noticed is it’s the first time in a long time I’ve felt so called to action on that front, and – crucially - the timing feels right, not forced from any kind of panic. It is more that I have a sense that the career butterfly has emerged from its chrysalis and is drying its wings. It’s just the right time.
 
If I were to look back at this moment in time from my death and decide to take no action, I can only imagine many more negative ramifications than positive ones. Every stage of life builds on the previous one and – as Brad Spencer says – “You can only go ahead once you’re ready to use what you’ve learned in the past to create a future”.
 
As I was reminded while watching The Second Best Marigold Hotel this week “There is no present like the time”, meaning – as the movie’s director said – “that things don’t go on forever, and what life actually is and what its possibilities are have to be seized”. The contradiction is that, as Judi Dench’s character says “How many new lives can we have?” and the answer is “As many as we like, while we can”. 
 
So what in your life has been waiting in the wings? What aspect has been in a bit of a holding pattern and has the time has come to take action? You have the power to navigate life's crossroads. Enduring through challenges isn't merely about resilience; it's about recognizing when the time is ripe to break free from stagnant situations. Embracing change is a deliberate choice, harnessing the wisdom gained through experience to propel yourself forward into the uncharted territories of personal evolution.
 
If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy What to Do if You Feel Trapped By Your Circumstances, How to Break Free of Addictive Relationship Patterns, Honour Your Story but Free Yourself of Its Shackles, Break Free: The Honour, Privilege, Exhaustion and Horror of Being Mum and Autonomy – Break Free of Money Fears. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.