What You Give Your Attention to Is Your Greatest Contribution

I was talking to someone last week about the funerals they have attended, and how they often feel it’s quite sad listening to a eulogy that simply says something along the lines of “he loved his family, worked hard and liked to go bowling with his friends.” I guess they were contemplating their own mortality and contribution.

We are more than the sum of our actions of course, who we are lives on in others. But I understand what they were meaning. What do we contribute to Earth, to humankind, while we are here? That will depend on where our attention has been focused.

Gilbert Keith Chesterton once said “I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.” This reminds me of Eckhart Tolle talking about the term Mind-ful-ness, and how it implies of the opposite of its intent.

But I do agree that if I let my mind take the driving seat in my life, my greatest contribution would likely be a huge amount of misplaced worry about many things past, present and future and I would associate effort with achievement.

Instead I’ve become aware of what is going on in my mind, I’ve become the observer as Mr Tolle says. Over time, and with increasing awareness, I’ve made room for another part of me in the driving seat, a part of me that seems to understand who I really am a lot better than my mind.

I could call that part the soul, spirit, inner voice, inner knowing or intuition. But it’s a part of me that knows - no matter what has happened, is happening or will happen in future – everything is always working out for me.

Even in the worst of times, it is always pointing me in the direction of my best life. For example, when relationships have ended, or people have been ill or died, or jobs have been made redundant. Out of everything that has ever happened in my life, I can point to how those things that have made me stronger, happier, and more authentic about what I want in life and who I am.

That inner voice takes any bad or good feelings that accompany the thoughts in my mind, and it uses them as fuel to attempt to move forwards. Pain and joy, they are two sides of the same coin.

So rather than wait for hindsight to learn what good has come out of the things that feel bad, I take comfort in knowing something will. Instead of being completely engulfed by the emotions, rallying against the feeling that life is in some way unfair, there is a part of me that is simply interested in what is arising out of each situation.

I’ve become curious. I’ve sought out the observations of those who have been observers before me, who have seen the patterns in human suffering – both physical and emotional – and taken note of what they mean. I’ve tested their observations against that inner part of me who often seems to rally in agreement.

“That resonates” I say when I feel like I’ve hit upon a truth.

It’s one thing to become aware of our thoughts, it is another to use them and shape them to propel us in the direction of our best life. That step is about tapping into the ideas we have, the things that occur to us that can be done differently, better, in a more fun way.

An idea is the start of a creation, an expansion of who we are and what we have discovered or achieved. It is evolution, it is growth, and it is legacy and contribution.

We often shrink away from our ideas, they remain a fleeting thought hanging out in the ether somewhere awaiting someone to take a hold of them with enough drive and conviction so as to bring them to life.

I’m not just talking about ideas like inventing something, it might just be creative ideas on planting or cooking, or which clothes go with what. We all have ideas, but do you have conviction in your ideas? Enough to give them your attention often, and to share them with the world (or at least one other person)?

Or do you listen to the voice in your head that tells you that you are not good enough, that your idea won’t be good enough or of interest to anyone?

I think that is a voice that comes from childhood. I’ve watched (and experienced) the way we come into society. Babies and young children are generally treated as empty vessels that require filling. Yet if you spend any time with a youngster you will know that is not true.

But when the people we love and depend on keep giving us messages about them knowing better, it takes a toll in the form of our self esteem. The voices of doubt in our head are just echoes of this, and because they are there we prove to ourselves again and again that the voice is right.

Observe that voice, is it relevant? Or are there things you’ve actually been successful at in your life? Perhaps you are worth something after all? Perhaps there is no maybe about it, perhaps if you were born then you have a contribution to make?

It might be a small contribution, like the difference you make in the life of a child.

My grandad was a straight up kind of a guy; kind, helpful and honest. He helped a lot of people, especially young lads getting into soccer as he was a scout and loved the game. My dad also embodied those characteristics and has helped a lot of people to manage other people with integrity and kindness in the workplace. Today my nephew sites him as the person he admires the most in his life,so no doubt he will emulate those traits and help more people through his life.

Really none of this is a small contribution.

As I observed my own thoughts and doubts about putting my writing out into the world, I realised it didn’t matter whether some people agreed or disagreed, it’s all just an opinion; what matters is if it helps one person to make a difference for the better in their life.

So I pay attention to my life, to what happens in it, what I think and feel about it, I observe and I share with others. I learn and grow and I share this with others too.

Whether you deliberately focus your attention or not, whatever you are paying attention to will be your greatest contribution. So you may as well make it something positive, and something you enjoy. Each of us has something to contribute, something that comes naturally, that we enjoy being or doing. Imagine our world full of people deliberately focusing their attention on those things, how cool would that be?

If you feel stuck in the weeds and would like a fresh perspective on a situation in your own life, feel free to contact me with an outline of your circumstances or click here for further information, I love to help. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.