Are You Yearning to Be Accepted for the Truly Strange Person You Are?

Image by Dimitris Vetsikas from Pixabay

My mother-in-law and I went to see Yesterday (a 1970s tribute show) at the theatre and I was immediately transported back to my childhood in a good way. One song took me back to a moment on a Sunday night in 1975, I was only a pre-schooler then, and Sunday was a bath night but it was also the night the Top 40 tunes were revealed on the radio.

I’d forgotten just how big a part in my life music played as I was growing up. The popular music of the 1960’s, 70’s and 80’s was a constant in my life, with Top of the Pops a much-loved weekly TV show on our screen. One of my favourite activities on holiday with my family as a young teenager was going to the Bournemouth Pavilion in the evenings, where the ballroom was repurposed to serve drinks to hundreds of people sitting around tables listening to the live music. 

While doing healing work on the deliberate journey to uncover authentic me, by necessity I find myself remembering and observing parts of my childhood that are not always so happy, and not useful to my encumbered adult psyche. But there is another side to this work, and it’s the rediscovery of the parts of me that either haven’t seen the light of day in a long time or, in some cases, ever felt safe enough to express themselves.

I was having a conversation with one of my nieces about one of her favourite film series, Divergent. I like the constant reminder in the movies – to paraphrase some of the best quotes from them - we should always, under all circumstances, make decisions ourselves rather than letting society make decisions on our behalf. So she and I then got into a conversation about how much society influences our thinking.

This led to some observations about how much we each suppress our true selves in a bid to try to fit in. But the thing I personally find more difficult is to define that real self, so the music show I went to with my mother-in-law was a great reminder about that aspect of authentic me.

While in recent years my career and children have filled my headspace, making silence preferable to noise when I do have a moment to myself, it was wonderful to experience enjoying listening to, singing along and dancing to music. It also moves me emotionally, and I feel a deep connection with much of what I listen to.

I was watching a Tedx Talk by JP Sears Say YES! To Your Weirdness. I love JP’s humour, and I love the way he uses it to deliver more serious messages like “in seeking others’ approval we reject ourselves” and “a willingness to embrace discomfort is essential”. That makes perfect sense, when I’ve rejected parts of myself in order to fit in, rediscovering those parts and revealing them is sure to be uncomfortable at first.

He also makes the point well that approval (from others) is not acceptance. As a living example of his own work, JP has successfully relaunched his career from Life Coach to Spiritual Comedian in the last few years. Many of his recent videos are full of political satire in the face of current world events and yet amid a backdrop of evolving consciousness. By saying yes to his weirdness, he is now well placed to voice things others may be feeling but aren’t able to put words to.

This reminds me of another article of Teal Swan’s I read recently on How to Receive Love. She makes the point that, while I might think it should be easy to receive love, many people struggle with receiving it. This could be because of conditions placed on receiving it, such as my good behaviour, or feelings of unworthiness, or undeserving, or a fear of losing someone, or even an addiction to reciprocity.

If I take this alongside JP’s point, it is hard for others to love and accept me when I’ve rejected myself. So rediscovering, accepting and loving that real me is of vital importance to my happiness.

A good friend of mine, who is also on this journey, was telling me about some art sessions she is setting up for local kids. In her typical self-deprecating fashion, she said “It’s nothing earth-shattering, just me hosting a small get-together each week, we will discover and talk about a different style of art and (materials provided thanks to a local grant) the kids can have a go at creating whatever painting they want in that style”.

I think that freedom of expression is earth-shattering. My daughter complains bitterly about the painting and drawing at school all being highly dictated, she relishes having that kind of artistic freedom. And for families where art supplies are beyond their means or not on their radar, this gives those kids a place in which to come home to a little bit of themselves, I think it’s beautiful.

I also heard from a fellow seeker this week, who calls his website Inside-Out Mastery. He’s written an article giving ten easy tips to finding happiness when feeling trapped. It is fantastic to discover and connect with others who are on their own journey to self-discovery and sharing what they are learning.

For my niece, she has reclaimed a little piece of herself in sporting some new Doc Martins that speak to the rambunctious, rebellious kid inside.

Every little piece of the real us that we can shine a light on and reclaim is a triumph for our authenticity, a stake in the ground of our own sovereignty. What are the parts of you that have been sitting on a dusty shelf or were long since buried that you might now have the courage to reach for and reclaim? These are the parts that will allow us to love the real you, as truly strange as that might once have seemed.

If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy How to Respect Your Own Value, Are You Getting Distracted From Who You Came to Be This Life?, Risk Your Friendships More in Order to Be Fully Loved and How to Stop Being Triggered by What Other People Think. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.