Reclaim the Sweet Spot of Being in Your Element

Image by Pexels from Pixabay 

I’ve been pondering this expression about being in my element. It’s something I would explain as a joyous state of being, and would describe someone in this way when I can see they are totally immersed in the moment and at peace with themselves, a real sweet spot to be in.

When reading a book with my kids about a club of young teenagers who always end up investigating and solving local mysteries, the main character was reflecting on her gymnastics class in this way. She had been nervous about her estranged father coming to watch her but got so caught up in the class that she forgot all about him being there until the end.

She observed that each of her friends had different things they were drawn to or did that they got totally immersed in and enjoyed to the same effect.

Being in my element is something I aspire to, but it’s also something I’m aware I’m not a lot of the time. When I am in that state of being, not only does it feel really energising and joyful, I hear myself better and all sorts of wonderfully wise insights op into my head. When I’m not in my element I usually find I’m worrying, planning or otherwise distracted.

I heard an excellent insight into these different aspects of myself when listening to Teal Swan talk about insomnia, she said:

“When you are living your waking life, you have two points of perspective.  You are your eternal self-essence, which many call the soul.  And you are also your temporal human self that you call by your name.  Your level of comfort in this life emotionally is all about the vibrational difference between these two perspectives.  The farther the vibrational difference is between these two perspectives, the less energy is actually available to your physical embodiment”. 

Interestingly, she said “In the moment of sleep, unconsciously your two points of perspective join so there is no vibrational difference between them.  There is no tug of war going on between them and thus, immediately, more energy is available to your physical body.  Most people experience sleep as refreshing because of that fact.  Technically, a person would not need to sleep if they could find a way to consciously prevent their two perspectives from splitting while they are awake.  This is why many yogis and meditation masters do not need sleep.  Alas, most people are not capable of that in waking life, so we experience a need for sleep.”

In essence then, I understand that when I can align these two perspectives I’m in my element. And I’ve been very aware of many messages this week prompting me to do just that. 

I’ve been following the We Rise Up online summit, which appealed to me after I watched a couple of short introductory videos with Tony Robbins and Alanis Morissette talking, and as Alberto Villoldo’s The Four Winds organisation seems to be the organiser, it felt like it could be an interesting mix of perspectives.

Tony was talking about self love and how to hard in this fear climate it can be for people to connect to our unique selves. He talked about immersing yourself in the experiences you want, since a belief is a poor substitute for an experience, so spending time with people who are connected to love, and doing acts of love to attract that.

Teal has been talking to this lately too. She says “The opposite of fear is love, so we cannot fear and love at the same time”. She suggests focusing on someone else’s problems out of love as an anecdote to fear, and says laughter is an expression of love and therefore also an anecdote to fear or even just appreciating the smell of coffee or flowers is an anecdote to fear.

Most critically she astutely pointed out “And in the absence of fear our world opens up to new possibilities; possibilities that did not exist while we were in the vibration of fear”.

She talks about taking ownership to love people, places and things as a part of ourselves. Encouraging me to think of myself as a steward since all the things I call mine will be left behind when I die anyway.

Not having huge chunks of time to be able to watch all the speakers in the We Rise Up Summit, I’ve been listening to short snippets of each once the kids are asleep, and finding the speakers I resonate with the most. It’s been great for discovering people I hadn’t come across before.

What I am finding is I’m feeling very drawn to those speakers who seem completely in their element while sharing their stories and experiences. On day one I was enthralled with Kyle Cease who exudes a kind of bizarre combination of easy going energy alongside being completely excited about life and how to get the best of it. He said, rather perceptively, “When you listen to your heart, your mind gets scared because it can only see what you’ll lose, it can’t see what you’ll gain”.

On day two I discovered Miki Agrawal and was captivated by her energy which again was this strange mix of comfortable in her own skin alongside an athlete’s energy of “let’s get out there and do this thing”.  And I was interested in her story of how she brought the period underwear concept to fruition, and her views on feminism.

I also listened to a podcast with Briana Saussy about The Sacred Arts and Raising a Star Child which was interesting especially since she talked about the elements of Capricorn in one of her stories, which is the sign I was born under. But what was I particularly struck with was her coining the phrase sacred arts to describe with appropriate reverence the ancient wisdom traditions that have too often been sidelined as woo woo and nonsense in the last couple of centuries.

Which takes me to another little corner of my life that I’ve been able to delve into a bit, a book about The Five Elements by Dondi Dahlin. I’d been relishing the thought of reading of this since I heard Donna Eden (Dondi’s mother) talk about how she had seen these five elements alive in people’s energy fields long before she had understood the ancient Chinese system.

Chinese physicians and scholars theorised that he universe is composed of forces represented by water, wood, fire, earth and metal. They proposed that human behaviour, emotions and health are influenced by these elements and people’s personalities can be distinguished by them.  

Having learned a myriad of systems to understand human behaviour over the last few decades, it’s fair to say I’m a bit over trying to dissect and categorise simplistically (or in the case of some of these archetypal systems not so simplistically), recognising what a unique cocktail each and every one of us are.  

However, I have enormous respect for Donna Eden’s capabilities to see energy flowing in and around people, creatures and things. There’s nothing I would love more than to have this type of vision for something I feel but mostly cannot see.

The exception to this is when the aforementioned two perspectives – the eternal self-essence and the temporal human self – are aligned and I’m in my element. If I set the intention I get glimpses of colour and movement in an extremely subtle and somewhat vague way, but it’s nowhere near the level of depth and clarity with which Donna sees.

So I was eager when the book finally arrived to see what new wisdom it would impart. I’m only part way through reading about the water element so far, but boy do I recognise a lot of myself in there:
“The rhythm of waters is slower paced than others; they need space and time to resonate with their own rhythm.”

“Doesn’t want to waste time talking about silly stuff or watching things on TV that don’t seem to have much meaning”

“Would rather not talk at all than make small talk. But share something meaningful, sincere and earnest and let her dive deep into your words so she can discover something new and you’ll have a friend for life.”

“Waters can get stuck in fear and limitations... If a Water person is fearful of stepping forwards as her best self, you can help her by simplifying the steps she needs to take and reminding her when she forgets.”

And I recognised in this all the messages life had been delivering to me about consciously making an effort to focus on love and not fear.

In fact, in her latest communications around powerlessness, Teal Swan hit the nail on the head with “When you’re the kind of person who is prone to worry, you try to prevent pain by trying to figure out everything in advance. But the problem with that is you can’t see most of the things that will be available to you at the future time you are worried about”.

And there can be a lot to get worried about. From the big stuff (overpopulation, pandemic disease, refugeeism and climate change) that I talked about in Why the Integration of Feelings and Logic Will Save the Human Race, to the active micro trauma I experience in day to day living, summarised in Your Childhood Is Not Your Fault but It Is Your Responsibility.

In all of it, the thing I have control over is how I show up each and every moment of each and every day. My presence, my awareness, my attitude and my reactions determine whether I am in my element or I’m spiralling, triggered into trauma states.

So this idea of being in or out of my element has taken on new depth this week as I have actively sought to focus on being more present, more active in loving gestures and actions and more grateful for the things in my life that are going well, big and small.  I notice when I do this, life flows more easily and feels less heavy. I also have more to give others.

Now, more than ever, seems the time to focus on being in our element as much of our time as possible, whatever that means for each of us. Each moment of alignment with the love that we are radiates that out into our world; a world full of people, creatures and things that flourish with each kindness, each triumph and moments of unrestrained laughter, feeling seen, feeling a sense of belonging and ease to name just a few of the outpourings from the over-spilling cup you are when in your element.

​If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy Your Soul Wants You to Soar, Let Yourself Fly, How Is Your Ability to Connect With Abundance Right Now? Empower Yourself - When a Difficult Reaction Sends You Into a Tailspin, Take Heart - It Takes Courage and Tenacity to Step Into Your Power, Are You Yearning to Be Accepted for the Truly Strange Person You Are? and Overcome the Greatest Human Fear – Be the True You. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.