Do You Really Know the Different Parts of You?

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Let me introduce you to the sentry, my protector. He is super strong and superhuman and thinks his job is to clear the path ahead for me. He says “Shona does not want to be dissuaded from her path, nor have her authority over herself questioned.” if he gets a mere sniff of an attack, he will defend and persist on my behalf.

The sentry is not a person or personality separate from me in the mental health sense; it is simply me becoming conscious of, and naming, one of the many ways of being in the world that I have adopted as part of the normal process of growing up.

That was useful when I was a child surrounded by others who did not always support my way of thinking, but as an adult who no longer wants or needs others’ approval, the sentry is a bit too heavy handed and I’ve dealt with a lot of path-clearing carnage over the years.

In fact, I only met the sentry this week, yet I’d been aware of the existence of this part of me in a more vague way for many years. I had been becoming increasingly frustrated and confused by, what appeared to be, an inner confidence in my own authority, and an ingrained habit of going into defence mode when questioned.

Focusing on that part of me as an individual part of my consciousness was invaluable. I realised if the sentry wasn’t busy clearing my path, creating carnage that was then creating more anxiety and work for me, that energy could be put into something new. The only thing standing in my way was an inner protection that had long since outlasted its use.

Parts work is a form of psychological work, often called shadow work, which looks directly at the things about us that have become subconscious. There are lots of ways to do this, but this week I’ve been using Teal Swan’s self guided process. It’s a bit like method acting parts of you as if they were another person.

In Reflections of the Soul – What Today Reveals About Tomorrow I talk about how I use whatever is actively triggering me in my life to dive into my subconscious and recognise old patterns and traumas. This latest process is one of the best I’ve used so far, as it is allowing me to look at myself through a much clearer lens even at some ordinary everyday things.

For example, other than the sentry, meet my head. When I stepped into my head as an individual part of my consciousness, I met a ground down, wizened old man. He was too lacking in energy to keep up the lifetime habit of keeping me safe by staying ten steps ahead; another outdated protection mechanism that could redivert and refresh its energy by working more symbiotically with my heart.

In contrast, my heart was like a vibrant youth, still running across garage rooftops to find a great hiding spot in the game. It felt expansive, present and in connection with everything around it. Polarities are common in parts work, where one part of us is sacrificed for another. Here you can probably see my head took over from my heart somewhere back in my childhood.

I’ve even taken a look at literal parts of myself, asking my right shoulder what it had to reveal as it seems to be in a constant state of tension and restriction. It told me that it needs my lower left hand side to be given attention, an area of my back that is often weak, so that it can work in symphony with the other parts of my body to maintain balance.

When I looked at that lower left side it wanted me to embrace the more feminine, gentle, kind and compassionate parts of myself so that it could be strong. There are so many facets to look at and, when I see myself though these lenses, it is a lot easier to see where old habits are no longer serving me and where there are opportunities for growth and more ease in my life.

Freshly equipped with the knowledge of my sentry, I went into a meeting yesterday that is part of a process with the kids’ school to inform them of any planned absences. The person who takes responsibility for this process generally uses it as an opportunity to voice disapproval at any unauthorized absence (anything except sickness and death of an immediate family member) regardless of reason.

In the past this has created turmoil within; see Evolving Education – Where Booking a Family Holiday during Term Time Took Me. But equipped now with my knowledge of the sentry, when I felt the anxiety building within me I was able to consciously recognise where that was coming from and used some tapping to calm my nervous system. I was in and out of the meeting in less than five minutes feeling balanced and happy in my choices.

Given these examples, you might have started to think of some others who could do with parts work. But do you really know the different parts of yourself? If we each take responsibility for the parts of us that are no longer serving us, we can leave yesterday’s version of us in the past where it belongs and be free to fulfill our potential in the now.

​If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy Get out of Your Head and into Your Heart, The People Who Hurt Us Are Vehicles for Our Growth, Learn to See What Is in Plain Sight and Leverage Your Feelings to Find Your Authentic Self. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog