How to Overcome Insecurities and Fears to Transform Your Life

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Each of us is held back in some way by our insecurities and self doubts. We let our limiting beliefs prevent us from pursuing the things that truly matter to us. Yet only through understanding our fears can we overcome them.

I was doing an interesting exercise with Evette Rose this week on boosting my prosperity vibration. She asked what my definition of prosperity is, what I need to hear/feel/know in order to feel prosperous and asked where in my life I already feel prosperous.

That was a lovely reflection as generally I have good health, I experience a lot of love in my life through my children, partner, friends and family, I live in a beautiful environment, I usually have a good balance of time to myself, I have money in the bank and access to healthy food, water and nature.

None of these things came about by accident, the way I currently live began as all things do, with an intention. Then followed the work to bring these things about, which certainly involved recognizing and overcoming many fears.

I’ve learned along the way that nothing is impossible, but if I lapse into pessimism and negativity based on my present or past circumstances, I run the risk of perpetuating more of the things I don’t want.

I’ve learned it’s important to calm my emotions , to remember that things tend to come more easily when I’m in a positive state of being which I miss out on when I’m stuck in a negative perspective.

I’ve learned that it’s better to work with the flow of events rather than against them, and sometimes that means disengaging from conflict with others or my own frustration if my ambitions aren’t playing out smoothly, and focusing on my mental and emotional state of being.

When I say I’ve learned these things, it’s like learning – knowing – that certain foods are good for us and others are toxic even though they may taste oh so good at the time. It’s easy to slip back into bad habits.

And that is exactly what I’d done just last week as I observed myself simmering with frustration about different aspects of my parenting role while on a trip. I had an accumulation of stress from the usual rounds of busy end of year events, intensified with a house move, so I recognised I needed a bit of self compassion and I needed to put a more positive part of my psyche in the driving seat – especially when I felt some heart flutters (I get stress related arrhythmia).

All it took in this instance was some reflection and journaling to reframe my thoughts and I felt like a weight had been lifted. My hearbeat went back to its regular rhythm and I enjoyed the rest of the trip. But when I came home, instead of taking some time for self care, I kept on “doing” and of course ended up with inflammation and congestion – my body’s way of saying “slow down”.

The learning is an ongoing daily process of applying what I’ve come to know when I’ve often tripped up and slipped back into bad habits.

The next area of my life to expand into is my career, and when Evette asked “How do you feel when you picture prosperity?” in relation to this I could immediately feel the fear of the stress associated with my previous career.

There still exists a fear of being overcome with the stress of losing myself. Yet finding me is the very thing I’ve worked towards quite deliberately over the last 9 years. I need faith to continue on my path but it goes hand-in-hand with the knowledge I’ve gained and I’m feeling ready to contribute more to the world around me.

I understand my fears, my body and nervous system in particular has much experience of me pushing through doing lots of things I don’t really want to be doing, particularly in relation to past income. The work I did previously held a certain amount of me that allowed the most authentic parts to shine on occasion, but it was too often overshadowed by parts that really are not me at all.

Yet I know I’m wiser now. Just as I’ve developed more solid boundaries in my personal relationships, the same is true of professional ones. There is zero need for me to expend energy trying to be anything other than exactly who I am, doing exactly what I want to do.

Talking to a cousin yesterday who is at a slightly later stage of life, I realised yet again that  life is too short not to do the things we love. I am passionate about rather a mixed bunch of things, from helping others (who are willing to go deep and want to help themselves) through change and transitions at all stages of life, including those who are dying, through to an avid interest in developing new systems of healthcare and education.

My life experiences have led me to accumulating a lot of knowledge and interest in all those things and I feel life is too short not to just embrace it all and do everything I can do while I can. Yet, at the same time, I recognise my existing commitments as a parent and my absolute desire to continue with that valuable role in my life.

The time feels absolutely right to step forward n some way, and certainly I have no intention of being held by my insecurities and self doubts. In what area of your life is it time to step forwards? Can you recognise some of the limiting beliefs that are preventing you from pursuing the things that truly matter? And are you prepared to devote some time to understanding your fears so you can overcome them?

If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy Here Is How to Recognise and Overcome Your True Fears, How Is Your Ability to Connect With Abundance Right Now?, Are You Getting Distracted From Who You Came to Be This Life? and Let Yourself Fly. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.