Embrace Your Evolution: Who Do You Want to Be this Time Next Year?

Image by Silviu on the street from Pixabay

As I was having lunch with a friend this week she was telling me about a broadcast she had watched with Pam Gregory, all about who you want to be this time next year. This piqued my interest because it’s not what I want to achieve or do, it’s about the kind of person I want to be.
 
This made for some interesting lunchtime conversation around the table. One person wanted to focus more on their self care and on having better boundaries, another wanted to be more present with the people they love more of the time without losing themselves, and I said wanted to feel more relaxed overall.
 
Given I’ve just moved home this might not be too hard comparing year on year but, in general, I want to feel my nervous system activated less often. It’s like the title of Richard Carlson’s book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff.
 
What I’ve discovered over the years is that knowing something like that in my mind isn’t sufficient to change my body’s responses. For years as kids we are surrounded by adults who have sufficient dominion over our lives that who we want to be often pales in comparison to who parents, teachers, coaches, friends, and other caregivers and influential leaders – especially as depicted in music and on our screens thin we should be.
 
So we grow up essentially trying to fit that mold or pretending that we do. That creates neurobiology that is so entrenched by the time we reach adulthood, it’s hard to change. Hard, not impossible, but it does require a lot of conscious focus as I have talked about in articles like Are the People You Surround Yourself With a Match to What You Want From Life? and Your Childhood Is Not Your Fault but It Is Your Responsibility.

But now I have a goal of being relaxed, that too adds another dimension to my decisions. The last time I moved house I don’t think I stopped until the house was fully unpacked and everything was just how I wanted it. In fact, it was pretty much all done and dusted in under two weeks.
 
This time I’m pacing myself. For example, quite aside of unpacking, my commitment to reflect on my personal growth and publish my weekly reflections is non-negotiable in my life. If I haven’t started writing it by publishing day, it usually becomes my main priority and focus. Not today. I woke up, got the kids ready and dropped them off, took a walk on the beach had lunch with a loved one and then caught up with some family.
 
Only now, late afternoon, am I reflecting on what’s captured my imagination this week. And in all of that the house had remained pretty much as it was when I awoke. I may unpack some boxes this evening, I may not.
 
I know some people take this approach quite naturally, but my strong preference is for a clutter free environment and my pattern of behaviour when unpacking is usually to work solidly for hours until the job is done. Having a lot of clutter makes me anxious and stressed, so teaching my body to take time out and relax while surrounded by temporary chaos is very much a conscious practice.
 
So who do you want to be this time next year? Do you have a desire to become a better version of yourself, to focus not just on personal achievements but on inner transformation? What can you do to support your evolution towards that? And what deeply ingrained patterns will you need to break free of in order to achieve your goals?
 
If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy When the Thing That Binds You is the Road to Freedom, What Are Our Thought Patterns Really Doing for Us?, Draw Solitude Around You Like a Warm Blanket - Get To Know Yourself and Who Are You Not to Pursue Your Dreams? To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.