Reflections of the Soul – What Today Reveals About Tomorrow

The days of 2019, like every other, seem to have passed in a sea of ever-rocking motion that appears the same on the surface and yet has carved the landscape of my life a little differently over time.

Since embarking on the journey to me a number of years back, I no longer set grand yearly goals to strive for; my life has become more of an intuitive and undulating unfolding. It is two years since my mother passed away, making that a natural and constant landmark for comparison in my life, but as to the last year on its own, that requires me to reflect a little longer.

Certainly I can see quite a difference in my children, and it was to their teaching I was drawn more this year. They did not sit me down in a classroom and teach me lessons; they screamed, yelled, cried and generally presented challenge after weary challenge.

The same could be said of my body, having carried me on this journey for almost half a century. Health issues took on a new quality, willing me to learn and respect the astounding collection of intelligent cells that I name Shona.

These two themes have dominated in 2019, both calling me to look into my shadows, to bring healing and allow my soul to shine through a little more. As a result my role as a parent has become a little more enjoyable and my body a little leaner and healthier.

It is actually hard to remember a time when I did not know the work of Dr Gabor Mate, Dr Laura Markham or Heidi Short. It’s staggering to think that I did not even know their names this time last year; though I surely knew the wisdom that spoke to me when I came across it.

That makes me wonder what this next year holds, which people will come into my life that I do not currently know? What will I be drawn to through inspiration or challenged with for growth?

My wanderlust continues, with more trips booked. But I think it is more my soul that longs for me to take flight and explore the more that awaits as the layers peel away slowly but surely between the inadvertently encumbered me and the eternally free me within.

Inadvertent though it may have been on my part, each knot that needs untying leaves a crease that tells a tale of triumph in its undoing. These creases are the map of me coming to know myself, and the growth that I was seeking.

Had I of known, I likely wouldn’t have signed up for neuralgia, root canal or more kidney pain. I wouldn’t have invited issues with my children’s schooling, nor the constant turmoil of day to day sibling arguments and meltdowns that punctuated my life.  

Yet all of these things and more carried messages from my soul, beckoning me to take heed and understand what needed to be seen. It’s been a consciously healing year, a growing year as always and one that was in little increments rather than large leaps.

Sometimes I yearn to just rip through all the layers that want to be seen, to unveil the rawest, most authentic version of who I am. Then I reflect on my understanding that is to invite a major crisis. What has been done, slowly and over time, is better to be treated gently and reverently in order for me to continue to function in the world; my children need me after all.

But all the while my face turns to the light, there is a horizon that beckons and I cannot ignore its call. To glimpse at what lies there I must face today, one day at a time, and allow the light to flood into the dark, hidden places that are ready to be set free.

The gnawing sense of more is always there. My dreamscape continues to point to transformation, transition and change. All the while I am somewhat blind to the destiny that stands before me; it’s only something I feel.

Now and again though, as I relax into the wholeness of who I am, visions come.  In one I watched a lady of the shadows dance and she took me among monks chanting within the bowels of a cathedral. As my consciousness moved around the cathedral, I was drawn higher and higher away from the dense dualistic energy I could feel on the ground.

On top of the cathedral were perched some pigeons, and from there we could see more birds sitting atop other religious buildings like Mosques and Temples. I was struck by a thought that is was only here, far about the people, where truth was to be consistently found, sitting atop the buildings where they meet Mother Nature and the vast intelligence and love that created all natural things.

The lady continued to dance as the buildings in the scene began to silently explode and shatter in slow motion into millions of pieces as the building fragments drifted upwards and vaporized. I was witnessing a symbolic end of patriarchal rule.

I was in no doubt I was being prepared for the next stage of life, about stepping into my own power as I encourage everyone to do.

That involves no heroic leap, merely a willingness to stay on the uncertain seas. Tomorrow will no doubt seem quite like today and not unlike yesterday. Yet after more of these tomorrow’s 2020 will be at an end and I will realise the landscape has shifted again, and wonder at how that happened.

Life happens in small unassuming, sometimes excruciating, sometimes exciting steps. These steps may not feel like much but they are everything. Keep afloat and look to the horizon by all means, but there is no need to cast about, for right before you - in the here and now - is where the future begins.

If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy Embody Your Spirituality – a Healing Journey, Reclaim the Sovereignty of Your Soul, The Path to Unconditional Love and The People Who Hurt Us Are Vehicles for Our Growth. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.