Be Purposeful in Your Focus - Your Glass Is Actually Still Half Full

Image by holdmypixels from Pixabay

I know it’s become a bit of a cliché, but I recognised this week just how much my attention has been focused on the things in my life that cause me pain. That causes me to feel stuck, which is simply frustrating and unhelpful.

Yet it’s not the whole picture. In New Zealand it’s the start of summer and the water is getting warmer, it really is quite beautiful. I went for a walk along the shore earlier and, as I was walking along with the waves lapping over my ankles contemplating what life has taught me this week, I thought about some of the things that had gone well for me.

Understand, probably like you, there are plenty of things in my week that drained my energy. Between navigating a long term relationship break up, and more government restrictions, I don’t think my life has ever been so challenging.

But as I walked along the shoreline appreciating the sun glinting on the water and the cobalt blue of the sky, my inner voice prompted me to dwell awhile in the things that are going just fine. When life is so challenging it makes the contrast between what is going well and what is not even stronger.

So I started to reflect back on my week, a week in which certain my attention had been diverted to one or two things that screamed loudly, and I realised in that moment with the waves lapping just how reassuring the timelessness of nature is. No matter what is going on in my life, the tide continues to come in and out, the sun continues to rise and the sand and sea continue to get warmer beneath my feet. 

And lucky me, it was the third time I had made it to the beach for a short walk, giving my nervous system a chance to find its equilibrium and my mind to let go of its worries and drift and contemplate, even if it was only for ten minutes.

I then purposefully thought back over the week. I thought about how much lighter I’d felt last weekend when my daughter’s party fell on a day that her dad was looking after her. For the first time, it wasn’t me who was wholly responsible for making her day special, it was liberating.

I’d been able to relax and enjoy catching up with some of the other parents as they came to collect their kids. In fact, because of another child’s party, I also spent a lovely late afternoon at the local park after school one day having a picnic and chatting with friends while the kids ran around playing their games. The weather had been perfect, warm and cloudy but with a gentle breeze.

Friends from far flung places checked in on me this week to see how I’m doing, letting me know they care, which was heart warming. I’d also had amazing support from other friends to help tackle the metaphorical fires that had consumed so much of my attention, which was worth its weight in gold.

Then when nipping to the shops before 3 December (when many businesses here became off limits to those without full vaccination certificates), I got great reductions on some gifts that were on my kids’ wish list; the sale happened to start that day.

I was even thrilled when, on one day that was forecast rain, it was instead warm, dry and windy at the outset and I managed to get three loads of washing out and dried before the heavens opened. And when I ordered our groceries this week, the supermarket send a surprise chiller bag full of goodies as a thank you for our custom.

Once I started contemplating the things that had gone well, and the ones I’ve shared here were only really a start, I got on a roll and realised that my glass is well and truly more full than empty. From there it was easy to get into visualising the future because my heart felt open and no longer stuck.
And that really was – and always is – the aim, particularly at this time: to stay out of fear and get into visualising the future.

So where is your focus? When you recognise where your mind is dwelling, can you purposefully switch focus to the think through the things that are going well for you to allow you to more clearly see there is a better future calling?

​If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy Reclaim the Sweet Spot of Being in Your Element, What If The Thing You Dread Is Actually Your Dreams Trying to Unfold?, When Life Is Uncertain It Feels Good to Take a Positive Step, Ask No One to Be Different So That You Can Feel Good and Empower Yourself - When a Difficult Reaction Sends You Into a Tailspin. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.​