Your Answers are within

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” Marcel Proust
They came to my door, interrupting a quiet meditation, brandishing their leaflet. “No thank you”, I said, “I am a spiritual writer, my beliefs are my own and well thought through.” “Ah”, she replied “with the breakdown of families today we are trying to encourage people to look to the Bible for answers.”

Not that I have anything against the Bible (or any other doctrine) per se, it is just that my own experience would teach that I look outside myself only for inspiration, rather than answers.

I figure that since I am the very essence of that which created me, and would be hard put to argue the miracle and magnificence of life in its creation. I therefore have every confidence my answers are already within, rather than being left to the chance I read something written by another’s hand.

The last time they came to my door, it was on the pretext of what terrible things are happening in the world. It just does not resonate with me that a creator who has given me the freedom to create, think and feel as I please would talk through fear. Fear and judgment, these are human emotions, that I have felt in response to withholding myself from the love that is always there.

As unique as I am, there is nothing that leads me to believe my answers can be anything other than just as unique.

The question is how to find those answers. I found an amusing, yet enlightening, pointer in a novel I was reading recently, set in the eighteenth century. A young Scots girl talking to another about her life in a convent recounted “Sister Xaveria says we should try to be silent, I think so we can better hear God talk. But I’ve never heard him yet, I’m no sae good at keeping silent.”

Now life in the twenty first century does not always allow for a lot of silence, so it’s something I prioritise and carve out. It’s rarely in moments when I am interacting with the world that I can fathom answers, more so it is in the moments of contemplation about them.

I make a point of doing absolutely nothing, except observing my thoughts and letting them go, for fifteen minutes each day, you could call this meditation. I also make a point of getting out in nature and taking walks by myself.

I find life is full of clues to the answers I’m looking for, but it is also true that we rarely see the things we don’t expect to see (that was another piece of wisdom shared by Sister Xaveria with the wee lass in the story).

When I am upset over of another’s judgment, it’s hard to swallow that their judgment is something I wouldn’t even notice if it weren’t mirroring back a judgment of my own.

“Our eyes only see what we need to grow from, so what we see in others we have in ourselves.” Those wise words of Annette Noontil’s resonate, there is no denying the truth of it in my experience. All I need do is look in the mirror of life and see what’s annoying me and – ta da – that is an area in which I have a lot of opportunity for growth.

Like saying no to things that I feel are expected of me without making it a crusade (something I have been guilty of as a defensive tactic in the past), I get the opportunity to regularly practice this as part of my children’s school community. I want to be liked, I want people to think well of me, but I also have to honour my own needs and that can often mean saying no to others.

Having grown up in a world telling me how I ought to behave and feel, where ‘unselfish’ behaviour is extolled as virtuous, I learned that I should put the needs of others before my own and to make a defense if I wanted to do otherwise. Yet how can I be everything to everyone if I am nothing to myself?

Just this week one of the parents gave birth to a new addition and the call went out to fill a two-week roster of meals for the family. I’m not someone who finds joy in making meals, or pretty much any other housekeeping task, quite the opposite – I find it stressful. So I didn’t respond, passive in my no, and felt a bit guilty; though the guilt is getting less the more I practice.

It’s rarely easy to change ingrained patterns and behaviours, but when there is a voice within encouraging me, and outward signs of stress, it is as well to heed what being said. Ignoring it can only lead to later regrets, at best, or illness and ill fortune at worst.

It’s not that I don’t like to help people, on the contrary, I love making a difference in people’s lives. But I also know it’s my experience, intuition and perspective - rather than my lasagna - that is my forte; that is where I find a win-win.

Yet it’s a fine balance to be self accepting enough to put my own needs first and to still be self aware enough to look for areas of growth; and to do either without defense. Being willing to take a hard look at myself is something that has therefore taken a long time.

Sometimes I manage look at what is happening in my life with an objective enquiry as to its occurrence and opportunities, sometimes not. But I never stop trying to be the best version of me and lead the best life I can, following the yellow brick road by seeking only clues outwardly and answers inwardly.

And how do I know when I have found my answers? That is easy, the answers just feel right, they feel good. I feel proud of myself when I’ve taken action based on my answers within, rather than feeling like I’ve survived something.

So how often do you look within for your answers? Are you able to keep silent enough to hear them? Test that they are there and, if they feel right, trust they will lead you to your best life.

Other related articles of Shona’s you might enjoy:
​
Find Your Light and Let it Shine
Meet Challenges with an Open Heart and Mind
Each to Their Own – Finding Your True North
Meditation – You’re Cornerstone to Success
The Most Honest Feedback You Will Ever Get - Dream Messages

If what you read here resonates and you’d like a fresh perspective (and only that, it’s not advice you have to take or act upon) on a situation in your own life, feel free to contact me or click here for further information. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.