What Support Are You Blocking Yourself From Receiving?

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

This is a question that came up for me this week, and I will tell you how. But I also thought it was an interesting question to ask given how topical giving and receiving is for many people around the world at this time of year across various cultures.

Of course I am not talking about those horrid itchy socks Auntie sends every year. This is about examining my beliefs so I am open to receive all that is helpful to me on this journey of life.

The question came up when I went to an appointment with a chiropractor I hadn’t seen before. I thought I’d try something new to see if I could get any relief for the tension in my right shoulder that is often there.

I figure that at some point, along my inner journey back to authentic me, I will address the layers that are keeping my shoulder bound. Since there is nothing structurally wrong, it’s more likely related to an unhelpful thought pattern or belief (or multiple layers of unhelpful beliefs).

The chiropractor took one look at me and described what she was seeing: locked up at the pelvis, twisted on my left hand side, and that crosses over in a common pattern of tension up through my right shoulder and neck.

I explained some inner work I had done around my shoulder which revealed some emotional trauma as a baby (having to suck up or rein in my feelings when being weaned onto a rubber teat at two weeks old) and there is some past life memories there that I am aware of relating to being badly beaten for the knowledge I possessed.

This, I guess, made her feel comfortable talking to me on a metaphysical level. She explained her own understanding of the pattern she was seeing. What she told me was that we often receive an imprint of our mother’s nervous system from our time in the womb, and then when we are born our will is usually shaped by the role models around us, so our ideas about masculine and feminine often come from our mother and father, for example.

Metaphysically the left side of the body relates to the feminine and the right side to the masculine. So as she saw my left hip twisted inwards (in a defensive/protective type posture) it’s a physical representation of the feminine blocking the masculine.

The question to ask myself, therefore, is “what do I currently believe about receiving support from the masculine?” and “where am I blocking myself from receiving support?” Knowing, of course that I have aspects of both masculine and feminine within me, and I may be blocking myself from internal support and/or external support that would naturally come to me if I was open to receiving it.

Because I am a writer, I just starting writing out the response. It was fascinating to look at how my beliefs have been shaped through my experiences with my own parents, siblings, partners and other important males like coaches and grandparents.

As I sifted through memories of mum relating to me her opinions and experiences of men, the story of overhearing my uncle’s teenage friends talking about girls, for example, I was aware of little alerts getting flagged in my system. Perhaps I haven’t been as trusting of aspects of masculinity as I would otherwise have been.

I also took a look at the most enlightened and encompassing definition of masculine that I could find, I wanted to know what a fully embodied expression of masculine could look like. Devine masculine represents action, direction, movement, responsibility, strength, focus, fatherhood, the sun, generosity, encouragement, material abundance, clarity, intellect, transformation and growth.

I can certainly see, for example, being the eldest living child in my family, responsibility is something I do well, maybe too well. Maybe I even have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and don’t always let others take responsibility for themselves. This is especially important for me as my kids grow and I let go.

While there is undoubtedly more support I am blocking myself from receiving, becoming aware of where I’m blocking it is the first step to unblocking it. There are a myriad of way to change the emotional signature of my beliefs by revisiting these early memories, as I talk about in Want More Energy, Clarity and Time? but it all starts of awareness.   

In diving deeper into my associations with the masculine, I also became aware of some of the wonderful support I’ve received from men over the years.

I don’t have many memories of my grandad, he died when I was fourteen, but I do remember him taking my brother and me to feed horses at a local estate. He didn’t have a lot to say, my grandad, but there was a quiet solidity about him, like a space in which I could just safely stand as who I was without judgment of any kind. And his gentle example of feeding the giant horses helped overcome fears I had inherited from my parents’ who were not animal lovers.

There were also my swim coaches, my diving coach and the lovely gentleman who worked with me in the travel centre in one of my student’s jobs. Those guys were in my corner, and my dedication and success was their reward. They were there to show me how to give others a hand up in life, to pass on what I know.

While I feel like I have only just begun my journey of uncovering the helpful and unhelpful beliefs I have around receiving support from the masculine, it also feels like an important perspective to share. In what areas are you blocking yourself from receiving?

If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy What Value Are You Adding to the Currencies in Your Life? How to Live in Conscious Self Awareness in the World and You Don’t Need to Be Perfect to Make a Breakthrough. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.