How to Get What You Really Want Out Of Life

Photo by Dysa Eldin

More and more people now acknowledge our ability to create our reality through our thoughts. We see the truth of this every day, the way we think about something affects the way we feel about it, which affects our behaviour towards it and the experience of it.

Thoughts create energy, feelings create eves greater energy, our behaviour creates energy. Good vibes, bad vibes, we call them; we sense them because our energy is connected. In my last article on why feeling good is the key to your success, I referred to Dr Joe Dispenza’s explanations on the science behind this.

So we are starting to get the point, we create our own reality. Then we think, if I create my own reality, why is this my life experience? This is not the life I dream of. How did I get here? And how do I get out of it?

Usually around age 3 or 4, we become conscious of ourselves as separate from others, this is a reality only in the physical sense, but most of us were born into cultures that believed it to be true in almost every sense. Yes, your physical body is different to every other physical body that exists right now, and has ever existed in history of humankind; I’m as unique as a snowflake. Yet as all snowflakes are snow, as Michael Beckwith puts it, we too are all connected.

While you come into this world with a purpose, characteristics, talents even, at first you don’t realise the role of the mind. As newborns we are so oblivious, the nature of our reality starts to evolve all around us with only survival instincts leading the way. Starting at a young age, parts of your true nature get shielded and hidden, others get exploited disproportionately, as you feel accepted or rejected.

Before you know it ‘you’ are the sum of your true self and a complex entanglement of your life’s experiences. Often you can’t even discern one from the other.

So from this vantage point, you are creating a reality that will be just as entangled. You’ve taken on energy that is not helping you attract the dreams you desire. Though still as unique as a snowflake, you are now weighed down by the layers that served you once and have gathered around you like a snowball.

"become more of who you really are"

As you become conscious of this, you start to observe ‘you’ differently, you start to pay more attention to the things you like and the things you don’t. Slowly, your view of yourself changes and you become more of who you really are, your authentic self. I wrote much about this process in earlier articles.

Then, as you think about what you really want out of this life from your new vantage point, you can start to attract more that really fulfills you. Here is where the power of the mind plays a part. You can have whatever you want in life but there is a caveat, as I was reminded listening to Mike Dooley this week. What you want is often not what you think you want. Let me explain.

"it cannot depend on any specific person"

With the right energy you can achieve pretty much anything, from the mundane to the miraculous, but it cannot depend on any specific person. You can have happiness, love, wealth, health, meaning, anything you want, but if you are hanging that on anyone else – or the actions of anyone else – you will keep waiting and waiting and waiting.

Note the premise I am discussing here, your thoughts, feelings and actions create your reality. If you what you want depends on someone else, you are contending with their thoughts, feelings and actions, you’re contending with their perception of who they really are, you are contending with a whole lot of complex, mixed up energy that may never match yours in your entire lifetime, far less at the point you desire it.

Instead, if you set your own cocktail of energy free and forget about the 'how' or 'who', you are much more likely to attract what you’re really looking for. Getting what you want out of life is actually pretty simple (note I'm not saying it's easy), just work it through to the point of it not being attached to specific people or the actions of specific people.

I have lost count of the amount of times I’ve wished I could change a person, if only that boss didn’t micromanage, if only that colleague could understand where I was coming from, if only that partner would appreciate my efforts, the list is endless. Instead, if you can step away from how you’d like others to change, and focus on what it is you would really like – freedom to act autonomously in your work, acceptance, appreciation, and so on, you will start to prescribe something that can really be delivered.

“focus on the feeling of already having it”

Then of course, because you are prescribing something you haven’t currently got, you have to focus on the feeling of already having it. If you focus on the lack of it, and constantly reinforce that feeling, you will only attract like energy and continue to not have it.

If what you want is, say, a fulfilling career, then seek out stories of how others transformed their life – there are literally thousands of examples out there now in whatever form you prefer. Once you have heard even just a few of these stories, your confidence, your energy will start to change.

Results are unlikely to be instantaneous. We all need a bit of growing room, you need time for your cocktail of desires and energies to attract just the right opportunities for you. But they will happen. They come to us in all sorts of ways, that seem like chance and circumstance, and only in hinsdsight will you usually be able to put it all together.

"live in the present, not in the future"

Meanwhile, while you are working on the feeling of already having what you desire, remember that life is indeed a journey. Not having everything that you want can be frustrating, but there will always be something you desire that is not within your current reality; this is our nature - growth, expansion. You, however, are living in the present, not in the future.
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This may seem like a juxtaposition, but your future is made up by a series of present days. Take a relook at your present situation and focus on the good things that are happening for you now, make good use of the positive energy you already have at your disposal and you will soon start to get more of what you really want out of life.

This article was originally published on LinkedIn.