Honour the Past and the Present as We Move into the Future

“We’ll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne.” Robert Burns

As a Scot, each New Year is traditionally met with a rousing rendition of this famous song. There is a pause before we leap into the future, and this pause is the now in which we can honour the present and past.

While it’s often a time we remember those no longer with us, it’s also a time to reflect on those challenges we have weathered, risen to and risen up from. It’s a time to look upon others with kindness, ourselves too.

I have to say this year seems to be at its end in the blink of an eye, yet it has taken me through my first full year without mum in the world. It has also brought both my children to new places in their development and they have changed and grown in so many ways.

As a family we have literally been out in the world more, having travelled together a few times. My partner’s business has matured and grown, with more of his creative efforts in the homes around the Bay.

I followed my inspiration earlier in the year to approach Tiny Buddha, a place online I love, and now my own work is published on this and other platforms. That means there are more of my insights out there in the world, having reached and helped more people.

In terms of my wellbeing, I’m experimenting more with fresh and raw foods, especially after getting my hands in the soil and taking on the garden this year. I’m also regularly back in the pool after a 30 year absence, and
I’m getting better at making conscious choices that honour my authentic self.

Even although there has been nothing monumental, unlike last year with mum’s illness and death, it’s been quite a year.

And while I look back on some of the year’s challenges and successes, I also am aware of the many people around me going through some tough times of their own at the moment.

Like a mother with her newborn baby, challenged by not being able to move for hours at a time while breastfeeding and not being able to be there for her older child in the way she would like to. This is aside of the physically demanding aspects of feeding and having to carry a baby everywhere, all underpinned with inadequate sleep.

There is a man who has finally found someone to love and who loves him, but she has been ill. Doctors think her liver may not last another two years. While she has outlived the opinions of the medical world before, it’s a lot to process and he has retreated within himself.

I know a lady who has had the courage to leave a marriage, that wasn’t honouring her needs, and is struggling to navigate the ongoing relationship necessary for their children.

There is another man whose ex partner has died; a lovely lady, taken too early from the world by cancer. His sadness and grief are deepened by regrets about the relationship they had, wishing he had been more attentive when they had been together. 

As someone who is always looking for words to uplift or inspire when people are looking for a perspective on a situation in their lives, I also know there are times when there is nothing I can say that won’t sound trite.

In these situations the people I know are just trying to live through their moments of grief, anger, frustration and guilt among the many other emotions. I know each of them will find their way through the tough times and be somehow more for it, hopefully with some kindness from others and towards themselves.

That is the word I particularly like from Auld Lang Syne, kindness. We all deserve kindness. No matter how well we feel we have done, or how poorly. No matter whether it’s towards others or ourselves – in fact, it has to start with ourselves in order for us to give it fully to others.

For example, I know I am often tougher on myself than anyone else could ever be, and spend far too much of my life worrying about the past or future rather than just being kind to myself in the present. 

Cogito, ergo sum is a Latin philosophical proposition by René Descartes usually translated into English as "I think, therefore I am". A friend sent me a photo yesterday of a clever twist by Gemma Correll that resonated “I over think, therefore I am anxious”.

Interestingly I then started to over-think the statement, rather unkindly berating myself for over-thinking and wondering what I needed to do to rid myself of this habit. Then I realised that is a negative spiral, I had to remind myself I was already on the trail of this one. In fact, as I said above, I’m getting better and better at bringing conscious awareness to my thoughts and making different choices.

Whatever the year 2018 has been to you, take this moment to reflect on it. Sip and savour each part for just a little while and be kind to yourself while you’re doing it; give credit where it’s due. While next year will soon be upon us, look how far you’ve come and where you are right at present. Take a cup of kindness for auld lang syne and for the here and now.

If you’d like a fresh perspective (and only that, it’s not advice you have to take or act upon) on a situation in your own life, feel free to contact me or click here for further information. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.