Forget the Shoulds of Life and Focus on What Inspires Instead

Image by Aaron Cabrera from Pixabay 

As I head into the new year, traditionally a time of reflection and resolutions, what I am reflecting on is not to jump into a resolution list of “shoulds”. Some things take time to percolate; there are often other pieces outside my control that need to move into place before inspired action can be taken.

On a recent trip to the South Island I caught up with a good friend that I haven’t seen in a couple of years. We originally met in the aftermath of our corporate careers, in their slow disentanglement from consulting work that appeared soul destroying. For a while it seemed like a sticky spider’s web that just could not be escaped.

With much more creative and fulfilling aspirations for our lives, it did feel for a good few years that we each were a bit lost as to which direction should come next. What was so lovely about catching up was to now witness the huge leap forward that has happened in their life.

From the realms of corporate strategy and marketing, that did nothing to light a fire within them, I now see my friend revelling in an amazing multi-room art space they have created in a large tin shed at the back of their house for over 40 local children to come each week and simply explore. It also regularly attracts local adults for a bit of art therapy.

As we were talking I was struck by how things have a habit of falling into place at the right moments in life. After seeing them struggle for a number of years and face one challenge after another, this move had opened doors with grace and ease, everything seemed to show up at just the right time.

This was a useful reminder as I play with what might come next for me.

“I should get on and rebuild my career “I find myself thinking. That is the voice within me that is sort of saying “come on, this has been on your to-do list for a while and you haven’t done it yet, get a move on”. Yet, while it is on my to-do list, it’s in that category of “when I’m ready and things have lined up”.

In the absence of the inspiration to act, in the wise words of Grand Pabbie in Frozen 2, “all one can do is the next right thing”. Right now I’m mainly studying, learning and exploring. This is a time to ponder, dreaming up ideas on how best to use the many strings on my burgeoning bow. There are so many opportunities to help people who are seeking it that it can be hard to know where to begin, though my intuition tells me - as always - begin within.

Having been in the midst of major transitions in my own life, it is easy to see when I step back that some things are not to be rushed. It’s about following the inspiration when it takes hold, trusting that things will fall into place in their own perfect timing.

“Where does that trust come from?” I was once asked. Perhaps it is innate but certainly it is supported by the benefit of hindsight. The further through life I go, the more evidence I gather for this faith in life to provide opportunities and happenstance just at the right times and in ways I could never have predicted.

When I look back on how important people, pivotal opportunities and circumstances came into my life, I most often couldn’t have planned those if I had tried.

Talking with another friend who, like me, can become very quickly and intensely attached to people, ideas or situations that feel right to us, we were both acknowledging the huge growth we are undergoing as we learn to allow the slower moving parts of life to move into place of their own accord.

I’ve just started reading a novel at the moment with this very theme at its heart. Three women from different generations become unlikely friends in a chance meeting that helps them deal with the next stage of their lives. This is the very fabric of life it seems.

My gran used to say “what’s for you won’t go by you”, and I have taken heart in this many times in my life. I am often philosophical about things that look like losses on the surface, yet turn out to be blessings in the long run.

One thing is for sure, this life is ours to make of it what we will. Identifying what I yearn for is a step I can take, I can become conscious of that which has perhaps been rattling around inside me unacknowledged. It is a step within my control, though it’s often aided and prompted by just the right questions or thoughts shared from others.

So what is on your mental to-do list that still needs time to percolate? Is there any inspired action you could take in that direction? And rather than continually berate yourself for not having moved in that direction, what else is there you can focus on in the meantime with ease and grace that will make you feel you are moving forwards?

If you enjoyed reading this, you may enjoy Life of Your Dreams?, Want More Energy, Clarity and Time?, Dreams May Be Free but They Are Also Essential to Progress, The Power of Time Out This Holiday Season - Reconnect With the Real You, Follow Your Heart: Everything is Possible in 2017 and Take a Small Break from Your Life to Restart from Your Authentic Core. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.