For Those Who Have Lost Someone Special

“She is making her bedroom into a mausoleum” she said. With a throbbing head and rising nausea I had withdrawn into myself until this point, but this drew out a response “she doesn’t want that” I said. Her death seemed a cruel twist of fate, and was there more to it? Searching for answers, “it was perfect timing” was the one that came.

There I was sitting on the beach, in an idyllic setting, with some of my favourite people and a stinking migraine. My friend had lost someone close, and I knew that someone had something to say. It happens a lot these days.

The thought occurred to me, from a fairly successful (and ‘normal’) corporate career, am I now the person who speaks to the dead? Apparently.

Learning to decipher energy, I’ve decided, is like being a piano learning how to play music. Each time someone strikes a key, the piano learns what it feels like to make that sound. Then it starts to learn what that sound means within the context of all other sounds.

Energy is subtle. Everything seen and unseen is energy vibrating. Each one of us has the ability to decipher it, but it’s a talent that tends to be shunned, and one that requires focus and practice. In day to day life we express things like “I pick up on others feelings”, or “it had good/bad vibes”, without realizing you are always picking up on the  energy that is and surrounds you.

The main thing to understand is that you are your own best guide. It’s your inner conversation that is most relevant. There is no ‘one truth’, only your truth. If something resonates, it’s your truth, if it doesn’t, it’s not.

So over the last few years, I’ve been deliberately focused on tuning in more to the energy that is us, that surrounds us. We are all part of one energy, we are all a unique expression of that one energy, coming into and out of form, just for the joy of it, and for the expansion and growth it creates, for all.

There is only life and more life, what we call death is just another beginning, reemerging back into our non-physical state. You are not a clump of energy that remains separate and distinct from everything else, but in each expression you are as unique as a snowflake, yet still snow.

Another friend had once told me of her experience in a supermarket when she was pregnant with her son. A stranger had approached her, put her hand on her belly and affirmed that she had recently lost her brother-in-law and he was coming again. Her son looked at me, and in that instant I had another message to deliver.

It’s hard to explain, they just appear like packages of thoughts in my head. Over and over I examine my intentions, is it my ego wanting to be the big ‘I am’? I think not, for being the nutcase who talks to the dead was not an aspired vocation. However, when you experience the feeling of a broader perspective flowing to and through you, not only does it feel good – really good – it just feels ‘right’.

“He wants you to know he is not his uncle” I said, “he is unique”. There was more to say, but it’s a context that is hard to explain. Our language is limited to our physical existence in this time and space reality. Whereas the energy that is the broader part of us is multi dimensional and omni present.

You are uniquely you, yet ever changing and expanding. I tried to explain it by asking her to imagine a rainbow of colours flowing to and through you, each of the colours representing things that are part of who you are and are of interest to you. You may find that, at your heart, you are a teacher or a healer, for example, so that energy flows to and through you and you naturally resonate with and attract opportunities to explore that more.

So this little boy is not his uncle reincarnated in the way that is often portrayed, however, he is part of the same energy stream, so some of the energy that flowed through and to his uncle when he was ‘alive’ now flows to and through him.

I sort of imagine that we remain very similar in our intent and interests over a few lifetimes, as we experience life in all its various guises and expand and grow, but as time goes on we become indiscernible from that which we were many eons ago.  

Our ‘death’ is always perfect timing, there is nothing that happens by chance. Whether the recent death of my friend’s close one was by her own design or some other ill intent is not an answer that would come, because it is not relevant from a broader perspective. It is only in this physical world that we experience ‘good’ and ‘bad’, some of what we would call atrocities are reduced to a simple state of contrast from that broader perspective. Contrast is what spurs desire, growth.

While we come with intention and desire, in each moment, in each contrasting experience, we have free will and we continually reshape our blueprint. Nothing happens that is not by our design, whether by conscious or unconscious thought.

When someone we know and love departs, for those that are still playing the game of life on this particular plane, the hurt we feel is only natural. We can no longer physically touch and hear and feel that person. At the same time, that is the essence of your desire in being here.

The ability to play out the game of life on a physical plane is more delicious because it is in all its hurts and fears that we pledge to tip the balance to more joy and freedom, our natural state. A state whose meaning is more profound from knowing the contrast.

When you are enjoying life, when you are feeling hope and happiness and joy, those are the moments in which you will feel your loved ones most. You will think “(he or she) would have loved this” or you will have an inspired thought and reflect it’s the kind of thing they might have said to you. Know that these moments are the ones that you are indeed hearing and feeling the energy of that person.

Those who are no longer here are always interested, always with you, always loving you. In our non physical state there is only love. Any part of your experience with someone that was less than positive is not a part of who they truly are, and is no longer a connection that they will feel.

Hearing of the firework that some of the ashes of her close one had been put in, there was a corresponding explosion of joy energetically. Yes, this is how she wanted to be remembered, a beautiful burst of light in an explosion of colour and sound. A life celebrated, a memory cherished.

I hope some of this has been of help to you. As I said early on, take only what resonates. This is a language I’m learning to speak, it’s interwoven with words from many teachers that have found the perfect expression of the energy I have felt on many occasions when those around me have been searching for answers; as it is also interwoven from those beyond who consistently are willing and eager to lead you in the direction of peace, hope and love.

The expression of your life remains pliable, honouring your loved ones who have passed by indulging in those things that gave you mutual joy and satisfaction are the moments in which they are closest to you. Namaste.
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