Finding Your Balance

How much we have to learn about life when we watch our children, especially when it comes to finding balance. Last week I looked on as mine played joyfully with their friends, who were visiting for a couple of days in the school break.

As was inevitable, at first the energy was high, but after a while they all hit the proverbial wall. I talked to them about having a break from each other, but – unassisted – they were unable to do it, it’s as if they were socially magnetized.

In truth, they were. Their energy had momentum, and it was spiraling like the destructive vortex of a tornado.

At the school our kids attend, there is a rhythm to the day, it ebbs and flows with more socially engaging activities followed by quieter, more introspective time. As I sat with four children in the car, who looked so visibly exhausted, the sense of this really struck me. There had been no ebb and flow in the visit; instead they had continuously been riding a big wave.

In some respects, TV and other devices take care of this in many households. However, since these devices are not encouraged as part of our children’s schooling (for good reason, the obvious one being because it doesn’t actually relax the mind at all), it wasn’t an option available to the kids. But I realise now that I hadn’t really prepared any other options.

All we are looking to do is to break the momentum of those active social connections, just for a little downtime. It can be naps, reading, going for a walk, drawing, puzzles, or any other activity that just allows for a bit more inward processing.

It helps keep the kids on an even keel, less tantrums and meltdowns are necessary for rebalancing. They just need time to process all that they are learning, from the more physical aspects of becoming upright and interacting in our world, to the emotional aspects and social intricacies of relationships with friends and others are they grow older.

In tandem, I have also been feeling somewhat overwhelmed with the world of play dates and the social aspects of a school community. I laughed with my wonderful friend who was visiting about the irony of me having just written an article about opening your heart, and the angst I was feeling over a particular invite.

We chewed on this subject of saying no quite a bit, which spurned another article about making how you feel more important than what others think. Then today I was reminded of a recent blog I wrote, not even that long ago, about following your impulses.

How quickly I forget my own advice! It is part of what I love about the process of writing, which flows so easily when I am in tune with myself and wisdom resounds. When I’m out of synch, confusion abounds in my life and gives me plenty of examples to draw on later.

Suffice to say, as my mentor then reminded me, if the invite makes you feel inspired, if it’s uplifting and feels right, go for it. If not, if confusion abounds, or you are feeling overwhelmed, it’s not in anyone’s interests to accept at this point.

Yes, finding our own balance is as important as helping our kids find theirs. You will also find the two are usually so interlinked that when you make your choices from a place of inspiration, everything just ebbs and flows with ease. 
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Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or  share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. You can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.