I’ve always believed that – in the bigger scheme of things - things work out for all of us. Sure, we might experience pain – a lot - along the way, but certainly when I look back on my life there isn’t a single thing I’d change. Everything that has happened has ultimately benefited me in some way.
Despite that belief, I have also spent too many years trying to make things happen, feeling like I’m swimming upstream. “If it’s going to be it’s up to me”, I just didn’t realise what that actually meant. I didn’t realise that my work was to figure out what I wanted, and then to trust it would happen.
I don’t mean that things would just drop into my lap, though things like that have happened from time to time, often when they are things that – while I certainly wanted them - I wasn’t so wedded to wanting them that I was dwelling on not having them.
Like the time I had a salary figure in my head of $150k as being my worth in the market, and out of nowhere I got more than a $25k raise to match the salary I had in mind. I didn’t need the raise, our bills were taken care of, and I wasn’t expecting it. If I had been, I likely wouldn’t have come so easily, that is the irony of feeling needy.
Or the time I imagined finding a huge shell on the beach where I usually walk, where there are soft sandy beaches and hundreds of smaller shells, and then I found a great beauty just the day after wishing for it. Or more recently, we started dreaming of a holiday in Hawaii and then were gifted one in Fiji (no need to split hairs, it was a tropical paradise minus the consumerism, so it worked out well).
But often there are things I want and I do feel their lack. The big one that so many relate to was when I was trying to get pregnant, which is a whole other story of its own. Then there was coming home from that holiday in Fiji and realizing it had created a desire for more than just 6 weeks of reliably hot sunny days a year, the kind of days where you just want to flop in a pool.
Interestingly the first question I get when I share that is “where would you live?” or something similar. The ‘what’, ‘where’ and ‘how’ are where trust comes in. I can spend hours researching options and trying to make things happen. I can try to reason with my partner when he says “well I’m not moving, I’ve spent so much time and effort establishing a business here.” But what’s the point in that?
The answer may not be in moving, it may be in travelling more or something else I haven’t ever thought of. At this juncture, it’s just a thought, the seed of desire, I feel no urge to check anything specific out; anything I do think of feels like too much effort or not quite right.
That is where I’ve pushed through in the past, if I’ve felt it important enough, making it my mission to make it happen. Yet when the timing is right and the stars are lined up, I know I’ll feel inspired to take action if it’s needed and the transformation will be relatively effortless. Too often I’ve experienced happenstance and serendipities to disregard their role in life.
There was a time when trusting in life wasn’t something I was inclined to do, but a lot of years of hindsight have helped me see that things always seem to work in my favour in the end, and I wasted too much time worrying along the way.
I was reading an old collection of Enid Blyton books to the kids recently, about a family with three small children who live in a caravan and have all sorts of adventures. In one book they look after another little boy throughout the summer holidays as his mum is very sick. There is a conversation between Ann (the youngest caravan child) and Benjy (the stranger) where they’re talking about saying prayers, and Benjy feels his are not really heard (by God, the Universe, whoever). Ann is shocked and says “well you can’t feel very safe then” and he replies that he doesn’t “I’m always afraid something awful is going to happen”.
Trusting that life works perfectly if you go with its flow, remaining alert to the things that you feel called to, the things that inspire you, makes life so much easier and much more relaxed. My lesson now is taking this tact with the day to day things that irk me, like queues, slow traffic, fundraisers at school, the school fair (organized by parents), so many things about school!
Yet if I can remember to remember that things always work out, it eases the pressure, it takes away the angst of feeling that I’m ‘needing to’ do certain things. That ties in with feels about my own self worth, another topic to explore.
Trusting in life and its ability to bend to your every desire, whether relatively trivial or deeply important, takes practice – and it’s a lot easier to start in the realms of the trivial. But just make a start, the very next thing that irritates or inconveniences you (it won’t take long), just try saying “thank you” and remember to remember that things always work out.
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