 I Wonder….What You Wonder?
I wonder at the remarkable changes in our society in the last few hundred years and the strides we have made in recent decades alone and I wonder where that accelerated pace of change is going to lead us to in my own lifetime? I wonder just how long I’ll be here, I guesstimate maybe somewhere around 2050 to 2070. I wonder who my children will become? I wonder what path they are here to walk? I wonder in which ways they will change the world? I wonder if I’m getting in their way? I wonder how I can remove any obstacles that stand in their path? I wonder if that will weaken them? Of course. I wonder how easily I can sit with watching them navigate their obstacles? I wonder if that too is part of my journey? Of course. I wonder at what point I’ll be living my life’s purpose more. I wonder if the feeling of lack is holding the more at bay. Of course. I wonder how I can fill up in other ways to distract me? I wonder how to connect with more people who want my help? I wonder when I will get to the point of loving those who get my back up? I wonder when I will get to walk the Camino de Santiago with my spiritual friends? I wonder if that will help me get better at allowing others to be who they are without it getting my back up? I wonder when I’ll get to travel more? I wonder at the many twists and turns my life has taken so far and I wonder where it will lead to in the future? I wonder when most people will wake up to the fear that rules their life? I wonder how to connect people with their inner power? I wonder at some of these ‘world leaders’ people voted in? I wonder whether people really think about the power they are giving away each time they vote to give that power to another? I wonder at the mastery that allows both blatant and subtle subjugation of the masses to the egos of a few? I wonder if people realise the extent to which dogmas espoused by others are ruling their lives? I wonder if people can truly understand the power they have within themselves? I wonder at the power we have vested in money. I wonder at what point we will wake up to – rather than just accept and continue to enable - the bondage that has created? I wonder where the solution beyond exists? I wonder whose soul it burns within? I wonder at the systems of health care that are perpetuated by money in pharmaceuticals. Pharmaceuticals designed to sooth your ills rather than cure. A system designed to keep illness alive. I wonder at the overuse of antibiotics. I wonder at the scorn cast upon those who chose not to vaccinate and the silence as diseases return even among those who have been vaccinated. I wonder when people will wake up to the wellbeing inside? I wonder when the concept of the mind-body connection will be simplified to its most basic component – when you feel bad, whether about something now or something that happened 70 years ago, it shows up in your body in very predictable patterns? I wonder when people will wake up to their own power? I wonder when we will treat education as a lifelong journey rather than an obligatory 10 year slot that one should see as a privilege? I wonder when we will wake up to the inherent intelligence in our newborn and help them to access it rather than thwart it each step of the way? I wonder at how technology has increased connection significantly yet decreased presence just as significantly. I wonder when people will begin to understand that technological connectedness is a crude replica of the connection that exists when we are able to be fully present. I wonder when the masses will tap into that state of presence and connection, which is infinitely more powerful. Despite all that, I wonder at all we have achieved in recent years. I wonder at the advances we have made in our acceptance of gender, colour and orientation as equally valid expressions of humanity, with equal rights. I wonder when we will get to the point of realizing that we are each expressions of a whole and that being reflected in our interactions with one another? I wonder if there is an end point in all this wondering? No. More Wondering. Wonderful! I wonder what I can do to help all of this evolution? Evolve myself. Of course. What do you wonder? With thanks to Sonia Choquette for making me wonder. If what you read here resonates and you’d like a fresh perspective on a situation in your own life, feel free to contact me. There’s no charge or strings attached, I truly enjoy helping where I can, click here for further information. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also opt to subscribe to my blog.
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 In this journey to me over the last few years, as I’ve come to understand who I am and the way life works, I place more and more value on autonomy. Having broken free of the economic chains that once necessitated a career in the corporate world, there are still so many lessons to be learned.
As my friend and I caught up on life’s events, my heart sank as I heard the words “Maybe I should just take the job and be grateful, how many other people out there are going to jobs every day that they don’t like and they do it to feed their families?” It was a rhetorical question. When I listen to people I try and let the words wash over. I have an internal tuner that is trying to get a fix on where there are and I always hope that I can find the right words to inspire them in some way. My friend had been sharing a story of a job interview her agency had sent her to. She’d known right from the start it wasn’t the right fit. Wrong fit is too subtle, though there was nothing wrong with the job itself, for the right person it would be great. For my friend, however, this would have been an unequivocal slow road to death. Not a physical death, but a smothering of the soul certainly. Yet, there was money to consider. We are so enslaved to money, a concept of our own making, in so many ways. Just in the last few weeks, my partner and I had been looking at restructuring our finances and had applied to our bank for a new home loan. Bearing in mind my partner is in the first year of a new business, the bank were cautious about lending and offered a deal which depended on reducing our other lines of credit. On the face of it, that makes sense, yet it didn’t feel right, I felt constrained. As I pondered this, I came to realise the issue is about autonomy, my autonomy. The lines of credit the bank was interested in constraining are both mine; hard earned lines of credit. When I was growing up, it was to the tune of “never a borrower or lender be”, yet once I’d experienced the benefits of ‘buy now pay later’ on low (or no) interest credit I decided credit was a good thing when leveraged the right way. I’ve never been one to save a lot just for a rainy day, nor have I ever built up lots of debt at high rates of interest or defaulted on a payment. But credit has always given me flexibility and security, and that gave me autonomy. When I moved to New Zealand in my mid-thirties, I had to start over rebuilding my credit lines, the ones I’d had in the UK were of little use in this foreign land. Having rebuilt, the credit has allowed us to juggle our finances these last few years while I stepped out of the corporate world and my partner made the move to self employment. It’s a delicate balance; I don’t want to go overboard on security based on ‘someday’. I know I’ll always be taken care of, that being based on confidence in myself and trust that life works out rather than a reliance on anyone in particular. But I also know things don’t necessarily line up instantly, so having some tangible security is a good thing. So I decided to walk away from the deal the bank were offering and explained why via an email. Then I went for a walk on the beach and felt elated, lighter, with an absolute knowing that I’d done the right thing. “No doubt” I thought, “I’ll second guess myself later, but I’ll remember this moment and I’ll know it was the right thing to do.” To my utter surprise, the next day the bank came back and offered the deal, allowing me to keep my lines of credit. It was like I’d hit a rock, decided to go around it, and then it just yielded. I wondered at the many times in the past where my self-righteous indignation would have kept me wrangling with the rock to no avail. Which is exactly what I was imagining as my friend was relaying the story of the conversations about this job mismatch with her agency, and the angst she was feeling; she was well and truly tussling with the rock in front of her. As I wondered what to say, I realised just how much our fears about money keep us enslaved. Yet autonomy is also deep rooted. At our heart we know our value, we are freedom seekers and don’t like being beholden or reliant on others. We get conditioned into cultures and societies that make us fearful and dependent, everything from the adverts on television to many common mythologies of childhood perpetuate that fear. My friend did not need answers, she’s smart, she just needed to hear what she was actually saying to herself. Purged of our stories, we hugged farewell, and I hoped my amazingly talented friend was done tussling with this particular rock. “If not today, someday soon” I thought. The next day she shared that she’d resigned from that agency, through which she has experienced so much dishonor and disappointment, this particular job just being the latest in a long line. I am delighted she’s chosen her autonomy and I can’t wait to see just what life yields to her in response. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating that people just up and quit their jobs, but each and every day we make a myriad of choices, choices that can keep you imprisoned in fear, or choices that can take you closer to the freedom you feel within. Autonomy is not achieved in one fell swoop, it starts with a decision to be more conscious about the choices you are making. Are they made from fear? How real is that fear? Is fears about ‘someday’? Suppose you made a different choice? One that made you feel empowered rather than enslaved. Take small steps towards your autonomy, and over time you will build confidence in your own ability to take charge of your life. Money is a commodity, it flows to and fro, its value based on confidence – and if you can have confidence in your own value, in time you will look back and wonder at why you ever let anything other than your best life unfold. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  I was talking to a friend recently who has long since become disillusioned with her corporate consulting role. For over a year now she has been tussling in earnest about which direction to take next. She investigated writing more, and wrote a gripping first chapter to a fictional book that I will relish reading when she finally has the space to get it all on paper.
As she was relaying all her experiences, it made me realise that – having been on that same journey – I had now moved past the question “what am I going to do next?” It was a moment of both reflection and almost astonishment. For the longest time I tried to figure out my next income-earning role, wanting it to be aligned with, no, wanting it to be my calling. Yet, a bit like my friend, I had no idea what my calling was. As I have recounted in various articles, while I found my bliss in becoming a vessel for writing to spill through, letting go of the idea I had to earn any income from it was key. Writing has become a ‘must’ in my life, not for the income, it’s more like feeding an ember that sustains my very life force. While, right now, most of my time and attention gets taken with parenting, and the huge learning curve (or more like a roller coaster) that my kids take me on, I know that my bliss is in feeling into that energy within me and allowing it to express itself outwardly. In all of that, I have let go of this idea of “the thing I need to do”, other than keep that ember alive. That was my moment of realization. I have no expectations of what the future holds, no goals other than to keep fanning the flame, which means I have to keep myself in a space to receive the wisdom that flows so easily when I tap in. I had actually forgotten the struggle, the questions about who I was born to be and what I should now be doing with my life. Instead I’m in a place where it’s just unfolding, and it feels kind of nice. My friend recognizes the paradox she is living, unable to switch her thoughts away from the next bill due, these thoughts about “not enough money” being reinforced over and over are the very thing holding at bay the best version of her life. She knows that to release her struggle she needs to distract herself from these thoughts. Her best inspiration right now is to go and get a simpler job, one away from the corporate demands, one where she can leave her thoughts about work at work, but make enough to pay the bills – with a steadier, more reliable income. Whatever you need to do to release the struggle, do it. You need to open up a space into which you can step forwards. As I drove along today looking straight at the lush green hills I have often walked in the evening with some other mums from the school, set against a beautiful blue sky, I thought about how draining most corporate environments can be, I can understand my friend’s desire to do something that is more ‘out in the world‘ rather than in an office. I thought about how nature nourishes something in you that manmade things cannot. Then I looked at those green hills again, and I realised it’s that something that is within us that created all of nature with its amazing rich and fertile energy. There are the manmade structures that are created by the life denoted by a body and a heartbeat, but then there are the majestic wonders all around us created by that life force that flows through us and beyond that body and heartbeat. It’s that energy that we feel into, or essence, that guides us to our best life. It’s intangible, yet palpable. A while back, a mentor of mine (who is very adept at reading energy) cryptically told me “there’s more if you want it”. Well, as one my daughter’s school friends got dropped off for a play date the other day, so her dad (who is a screen writer) could meet a deadline, I thought “do I want more?” – I couldn’t imagine adding deadlines for writing to the mix of everything else going on in school holidays. Then I realised I was creating a form to that “more” my mentor had alluded to. Really, what would light my fire is simply more opportunity to do just that. More opportunity to fan the flames of the bliss I’ve found in becoming a vessel for writing to spill through. In fact, writing is too narrow, that is what happens when I pick at a thread, a question I have that pops up in day to day living. These days, it’s more often now just words that come in response to other people asking questions. Either way, being a vessel for that energy is exquisite! Then, last night, I had a dream where I was being called forwards to a stage to receive something. As I stepped forward, things got in my way, but I kept my eye focused on the stage and kept going in the right direction. It’s a metaphor of course for maintaining a broader perspective. If you responded to the title of the article, you know you are being called to something beyond that which you are being and doing right now. Your job is not to figure out what that is; your job is to get in a place where you can receive it. That ‘it’ is sure to be a heart’s desire, whether in a form you anticipate (unlikely) or not (most likely). So if you are being called to step forwards, figure out what you need to release in order to receive, and you will see your best life unfold. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. To be the first to receive these posts, you can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.  I get a lot of emails about techniques to attract more money into my life and I ignore them. It’s not that I don’t want more money, or that I don’t believe these techniques could work, it’s that attracting more money has never really made it to the top of my list of goals in life.
Believe me, it’s in the mix, it’s just that when I compare it with my other goals, and I imagine a life without the other things I want versus the money, it’s way down the pecking order. I guess I’ve always felt like, in the scheme of things, my needs would be taken care of. Yet, no matter how much money I have earned (and I’ve earned a lot) it never seems enough. So I had a bit of an ‘ah ha’ moment as I was listening to someone talk about their worry over paying the bills. I realised that, while money isn’t in my top 5 things to focus on, and while I inherently believe everything works out in life, I still have a lot of chatter in my head that is keeping money from coming in. Phrases like “cut your coat to suit your material” and “money doesn’t grow on trees” were part of my childhood. I grew up knowing that my parents worked hard for what they got, and that it was always just enough to pay the bills. Meanwhile science is finally catching up to the fact that we are all energy, and our thoughts – and the feelings they perpetuate – act like magnets for the things we want (or don’t want) in our life. As I said to my daughter after we visited an exhibition about earthquakes that made her worry, if you worry, the universe sends you something to worry about. Chances are, you’ll never experience an earthquake, so it’s best to focus on things that make you feel good, so the universe will send you more of the good stuff. Yet at home my partner and I often send our children messages about the cost of things, the roots planted in our own subconscious in our early years, conveying a sense of lack. There have been many times when our youngest daughter shows us in no uncertain terms that she feels no such lack (as she wastes this or that). We have had a habit of chastising her, but what message does that send – that she too should deny the abundance she most naturally feels? However it can be hard to feel abundant when you have to face the stark realities of paying a bill and there’s not enough money in the bank. Especially since we are so used to letting what we observe dictate how we feel. Yet it’s the opposite approach that works in our favour. You don’t even need to feel good about the specific thing you want in order to get it, so long as you are not feeling bad about it or other things either. There’s the rub. While I might feel like everything works in my favour in the end, and so I don’t get overly motivated to “make a million” or some such goal, there are daily moments when I am creating conflicting energy in my relationship with money because of my contradictory thoughts. Ah ha! The question is what to do about it. Here’s the stark reality, if your finances are not where you want them to be, there’s some subconscious beliefs that are getting in your way and it’s time to create stronger, more self-serving ones…
When I started to look at some of my beliefs, and wrote them down, it started to get to the heart of where the glitches (let’s call them) in my subconscious are. It’s not like these thoughts are loud and clear, they haven’t gotten that bad yet that they are consciously screaming at me. Though getting a migraine after doing the monthly bills is probably a major signpost. I wrote my thoughts down because it’s the most focused form of thinking; otherwise thoughts stream through my head like there are on fast-moving, simultaneously flowing, conveyor belts that I can’t ever quite grasp. Leaving behind a regular paycheck can be scary because suddenly you are thrust into a world where you can’t always see where the money is going to come from right at this very second. So I started there, I wrote “I worry about having enough money to pay the bills next month”. Then, taking a lead from the advice I’d just given my daughter about the universe sending you more to worry about, I flipped it. If that was what I didn’t want, what do I want I thought….”not to have to worry about money”. Mm, still a bit too much of a ‘worry’ feeling in there, so I stole a phrase I heard recently in an Abraham-Hicks conversation “I want make choices in my life based on what I truly desire (not what I can afford)”. In itself, that achieved very little, so I continued along the vein I’d heard Esther Hicks talk about. I started to pull out thoughts I already have that match that. There were many. I started to recall the many ‘big’ decisions I’d made in life that money could have had a bearing on, had I let fear dictate the decision: whether to be in certain relationships, whether to emigrate and whether to have children – or have more children. I got on a roll, realizing it really doesn’t even affect many of my day to day decisions. Then I hit a hot button, I realised that while I hadn’t let fears about money get in the way of most of my big life decisions, I had let it have a big bearing when it came to which career to pursue. So I started again, I wrote “I need to do something in order to earn money”, then I flipped it… “Money comes with ease”. Again, I found many examples of this that I’ve experienced in my life: generous gifts from relatives, redundancy packages, rising equity in property, rising investments and savings, bonuses and unexpected rises in pay or tax rebates. The list went on, and then I realised how aware I am of the many other ways money can flow to people that I haven’t yet experienced, like big wins and inheritances. Then I hit another hot button, residual income. Years ago, when I ran my own business, I learned a lot about the risks involved and knew I had uncovered something. Heaps of thoughts started to flow – negative, scary thoughts – like “it takes 2 to 5 years to make money in business, and most fail in that time”, “you have to sell, sell, sell in business”, “only the lucky few artists (in the broadest sense of all creative endeavors) ever make it” So I tried to take the essence of all those thoughts and flip them, I got to “I can pursue my heart’s desire and money will flow easily”. This time I struggled to come up with matching thoughts that I already have. Sure, I know there are successful writers, speakers, artists, musicians and so on, and I know enough of those stories to know instant success isn’t the norm. I also know enough about how this stuff works, the process of rebuilding my beliefs, to know that they won’t change when they don’t sit right. Time to get more general I realised; what if I separate out pursuing my heart’s desire from money flowing with ease? I was already comfortable that money can flow in many ways other than a paycheck, or things like royalties or income from affiliates, so I set that aside. I focused on my heart’s desire, which right now involves pondering life’s big questions through my writing. Then I captured some of the negative thoughts I have, like articles not getting published in more public streams because of changes in algorithms, or because it’s not the right platform, and I wrote “there are people who are eagerly awaiting the content I publish”, and got on a roll (thanks to all those who have hit ‘like’, commented, shared and connected with over this last year). That took me into the territory of one of my goals, to become an accomplished author, which for me is about knowing my writing resonates with people, feeling like it makes a difference. With that I felt satisfied I was back on track after the wobble I had about money. All in all, while looking at your relationship with money can provide some valuable insights, what you really want to make sure is that you are soothing any feelings about ‘lack’ in order to allow more. Knowing what you want is one thing, but believing you can have it is where the work is. That starts with getting on good terms with what’s happening in your life right now, the stuff that smacks you in the face each day. If you find you are constantly resisting ‘what is’, try out this process and see if it can’t remove some barriers for you, make you feel a bit better about where you are. That, ultimately, is always your aim; to feel good about right now, to allow more of the good stuff into your life. Go on, give it a try. Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at shona@shonakeachie.com, I’m always happy to help if I can. 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