“What would you do inebriated that you’d never do sober?” was the question posed. Jokingly I replied “flash my tits”; I can be a bit crude at times.
Here’s the thing though, I really don’t drink alcohol. I used to, now and again, but it made me feel pretty ill afterwards. When I was trying to get pregnant, I made a liberating decision. I remember being with some friends at a New Year’s party. when suddenly I had a thought “I’ll just cut loose as if I had had a drink, everyone else will be drunk anyway and not notice”.
It was indeed pretty freeing. I had a great night, dancing with my friends and, perhaps, even flashing said bosoms. So when I got asked the question about being inebriated, I realised it’s not what I do when I’m drunk, it’s how easy it is to unwind when others are drunk that often makes a difference.
I’m not saying that if everyone turned up to drop off their kids are school inebriated that would transform me permanently into a female Billy Connolly type, cracking jokes and fooling around. There are many times in each day when we have tasks and responsibilities that require our attention that aren’t exactly ‘relaxed’.
But a lot of the time there are tasks and responsibilities we take on unnecessarily. And the commentary playing in our heads is a whole other labyrinth that keeps us from being in the moment, layer upon layer.
All my life I’ve been the serious one, I still am. I’m serious in an insightful way. I like to dig deeper. I described a recent dinner with some friends like taking 153 books from the shelf, reading the first line and scattering them on the floor. We touched on so many topics, I would have loved to delve deeper into each one, my mind goes with that energy, delving beneath the surface, exploring how each topic has touched that person’s life, but the topic moves on before we can discuss it, too many kids running around, too many people in the room.
I think if I were indulged in my tendency to dive so deeply I’d probably disappear down the rabbit hole never to return. But that is why it’s so wonderful to be surrounded by many different people wired in different ways. If you let me in, I’ll see you, I’ll challenge you to think about things in ways you haven’t before, but if you want to party, cool.
The thoughts in your head that seem so binding in a sober state, that hold you back from fully sharing or participating in the present moment, often just melt away when you have a drink. I find it generally makes people easier to be around.
Though if people just felt comfortable in their own skin, and regularly just practiced being in the present moment, who would even really need a drink, or anything else, in order to relax and cut loose?
What if I told you that it’s possible?
Really, it is. A life where you are mostly not living in fear of what might happen, you are just enjoying the moment in all its glorious imperfection. A life where people get to see the real you more of the time. A life where you get to feel good about where you are and who you are.
It’s not hard, but it does take focus.
For years I used to write in a journal to offload, literally. I was trying to figure my way through the layers of self defeating thoughts that occupy space in my head. Now they still pop up, but I am more aware of them and their futility for the most part.
It’s been a deliberate journey of figuring out who I really am, this me that came into the world with intentions and traits. It’s been a journey of conscious awareness and of learning to regularly take 15 minutes in each day to do nothing except become aware of my thoughts and let them go. It’s been a journey to get to the point of prioritizing how I feel above all else.
That, to me, is the real job of cutting loose. Cutting loose all the stuff in your head, liberating the gumph in your subconscious that is holding you back from your best life.
“If I could have my time again” said a dentist to me, “I’d be botanist”. “But this is your time” I replied. We talked about how writing made me feel, the deliciousness of finding words to express whatever is within me, and she totally related to the feeling when she is out among plants. Of course, whether she sees it or not, she is a botanist.
Is it time to cut loose of the things you think you have to do or be that keep you in bondage to this idea of who you need to be in the world? Makes sense to me. This is your life, it’s happening now, be completely tuned in and on board with it, otherwise, what’s the point?
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