Rather a strange topic I know, yet I seem to have been drawn to the issue a few times lately. Saying that a psychopath is born that way seems to me the epitome of an excuse we use to keep ourselves in a place of fear and powerlessness.
It simply doesn’t resonate with anything I’ve learned about the nature of life. We are all born from a place of love, a place of connectedness, with intentions and desires for this life. We remain connected through our ability to feel. Happy people are tuned in to their feelings, and those of others. The more cut off we are from our awareness of how we feel, the more cut off we are from that love that naturally flows through us.
Our feelings are interconnected with the thoughts we have about our self and the world. As the work of the Dunedin Study and the likes of Dr Bruce Lipton now shows, the earliest years of your life strongly correlate to your success in future life; on the basis that those early years are where the subconscious mind starts to form all its messages.
Given most people think 60-70,000 thoughts a day, with 90% of those being a subconscious repeat of yesterday’s thoughts, it is no wonder that there is a strong correlation between early childhood and later success. However, that is not an excuse for anyone to live anything less than a happy, joyful, life.
In fact this new awareness gives rise to an opportunity for change. At any point we can choose to become more consciously aware of our thoughts and whether they are actually still relevant and serving us, rather than playing out all the same old patterns.
So it would make sense that those who we label as monsters have no doubt suffered some kind of a trauma in their early years. This will have created a thought pattern that once served their very survival, but now no longer serves them, and has simultaneously shut them off from their feelings.
It also makes sense to me that this could create different wiring in the brain. The brain wiring is not the reason for the behaviour, it’s a result of the early thoughts, feelings and behaviours i.e. the result of the individual’s response to the trauma they suffered.
Each individual is different, so their response will be different. Hence some people face trauma and at one extreme become a fervent advocate of positive change and at the other extreme become a danger to society. For most of us ‘normal’ people, we are constantly subconsciously manifesting some sort of illness in response to our self defeating thought patterns.
I happened to glimpse part of a documentary my partner was watching, hosted by Morgan Freeman. I know from an interview that I saw previously with Morgan Freeman that he is someone who feels his connectedness, he senses he is part of a bigger whole and marvels at the role of what he calls Providence in his life. This time he was hosting a documentary about psychopaths, which was the topic of an argument I had with my partner a while ago.
At the time I was intrigued as to why I was even arguing about such a thing, more and more in life I have learned to let go of the need to have others agree with me. He was trying to tell me that there are psychopaths that are just born that way and had normal loving childhoods, no trauma. Yet every fibre of my being tells me this cannot be so.
I watched as Mr Freeman interviewed a convicted psychopath in prison, explaining he does not feel emotions the way others do, and I listened as the psychiatrist explained the “one in a million” brain wiring deficiency (let’s call it that) as if that meant he was rendered helpless. As I heard Morgan reflect “still, does he not have a choice?” my very being shouted “Yes! Yes he does”; we all do.
I’m not saying people can change their behaviour in this very second. But we can start with becoming conscious of our behaviour, and the thoughts and feelings that drive it. I’m absolutely sure that the journey to a psychopath believing they are capable of receiving and giving love would not be an easy or quick process, but I absolutely believe it’s possible.
Then it clicked for me why the subject rattles me, it rattles me because if you believe people are simply “born like that” you have no control. Yet I know the contrary is true. in your life you have ultimate control. Nothing will happen that is not of your own making, you just need to become conscious of your own thoughts and feelings and learn how to interpret and direct them towards your wellbeing.
I’ve come to understand that nothing – NOTHING – happens in this life by chance. Sure, it seems as though it does, as the things we call chance, coincidence, serendipities etc all seem too fantastically complicated in their resulting manifestation to have been consciously construed. But the truth is that the power of creation is yours.
Neither is anything predetermined, in every thought, breath, feeling, you are making a choice, creating. Creating what? The things that show up in your life. The power within you is undeniable. Change lies entirely in your own hands.
I have no doubt that, as a society, change begins within. If we want to help those who have suffered in the extremes of life, first we must become consciously aware of our own self defeating thought patterns and take back the control we have within.
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