Most of us have some version of “I am not good enough” or “I am not worthy” driving the thoughts in our head. For some it’s quite confronting to hear that, it doesn’t feel good – that is because somewhere deep inside you know better – yet still your subconscious mind keeps driving the thoughts “what if… that doesn’t work; I can’t pay for it; he says this; she does that; they reject me; they don’t get back to me; I don’t get that job, loan, house, gig..”
Here is a “what if” for you, what if you are enough? What if there is nothing you need to do, be, have or prove? What if you are already enough?
That doesn’t mean you can’t want more, but it is good to know you are not required to. You were born perfect, if you don’t believe it go and hold a newborn, look into their face, see the perfection. That was you once, you knew your worth. You felt the love and adoration before the people around you, often in their well meaning, slowly set about dictating just about every aspect of how you should live your life.
Most of us spend our time replaying past experiences or strategizing about future experiences. Over 90% of the thoughts in your head are driven by your subconscious, based on patterns born from (now irrelevant) childhood experiences yet firmly practiced and repeated so often throughout your life that they have become your truth.
You may have self limiting beliefs about relationships, money, careers, communities, health, spirituality, anything and everything.
A few weeks ago I watched an online seminar where the speaker was talking about the steps required to mastermind your life, steps she’s observed successful people often take intuitively. The very first step was to know that you are enough, she recommended writing “I am enough” on the mirror and taking time to reflect on it each day.
While this step seemed logical to me and I did it, it didn’t feel like there was anything sensational about writing “I am enough” at first. Yet it’s grown on me and I’ve come to see how powerful it is.
Last week my not quite 6-year old had an experience at school that deeply upset her; she was excluded from a “6-year old” activity. It’s amazing how much attachment kids have to age, I guess in a world where they feel quite powerless much of the time it is a natural currency for power and social standing.
Given all that I know and convey about the workings of the subconscious mind, summed up here if you listen to The One Thing Between You and Your Best Life, I know this is exactly the sort of thing that can create or reinforce a “I am not worthy script” in her head if there are enough other examples that occur in her life to emphasize it.
So we stood in front of the mirror, once she had gotten into a better place, and I asked her if she knew what was written on it; she couldn’t quite remember. “I am enough” I said, “I am 5, I’m not yet 6, or 7, or 8, or 9, in fact I can only be 5, and I am enough. I am smart enough, creative enough, clever enough, pretty enough, loved enough. I am beautiful, I am love and am loved, I am enough.”
I could see her face begin to light up; she skipped off to see her younger sister and told her “Sister, you are enough”.
Realizing its power I vowed to do it more often with both our kids, and my partner. He’s been a tradesman working for someone else all his working life and is now looking to strike out on his own, it’s important that he knows he is enough. It’s important that I know I’m enough too, with kids to look after, a partner to support and a new career to kindle.
Tomorrow I have to take part in a meeting where the parties are all feeling hurt and sore. There are many feelings at play, all shades of grey, and some are downright black and thunderous. I choose the lighter end of the scale and I will hold that for the others, so that we can be constructive. To do that I have to know I’m enough and I have to believe that each person there is enough too.
There is nothing we need from specific others in order for us be, do or have enough in our own lives. We often pin that on people “if only you… did this, said that, were something else…I could be happy”. It’s simply not true.
How many times have you thought that and left a job or a relationship only to find that the same scenario came around again? Same shit, different day as my partner would say. That is a good indication that you have some self limiting beliefs going on.
Imagine going back and talking to the younger you, picture yourself as a young child, your circumstances and the way you felt about life. Imagine if you could show that child your life today? Imagine you could show them around your house, tell them about all they have achieved in life, how they have grown.
Tomorrow’s meeting is only a result of one person’s fear being projected right back at them. If we can each understand that we are enough, we can grow from a place of contentment rather than fear, worry, anger or anxiety.
Life evolves from our thoughts and desires; let your life grow in a direction that will make you truly happy. Be content with who you are and all that you have become in your life. Give yourself a pat on the back for all that you have achieved, even if it’s only that you are still here, and know that you are enough.
Knowing I’ve helped in some way through my writing means a lot - I’d love for you to like, comment on, or share these thoughts with others, or contact me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org, I’m always happy to help if I can. You can also subscribe to my newsletter and, as a special thank you, you will receive the link to my video 3 Steps to Becoming You.
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