I was talking to a friend recently who has long since become disillusioned with her corporate consulting role. For over a year now she has been tussling in earnest about which direction to take next. She investigated writing more, and wrote a gripping first chapter to a fictional book that I will relish reading when she finally has the space to get it all on paper.
As she was relaying all her experiences, it made me realise that – having been on that same journey – I had now moved past the question “what am I going to do next?” It was a moment of both reflection and almost astonishment.
For the longest time I tried to figure out my next income-earning role, wanting it to be aligned with, no, wanting it to be my calling. Yet, a bit like my friend, I had no idea what my calling was. As I have recounted in various articles, while I found my bliss in becoming a vessel for writing to spill through, letting go of the idea I had to earn any income from it was key.
Writing has become a ‘must’ in my life, not for the income, it’s more like feeding an ember that sustains my very life force. While, right now, most of my time and attention gets taken with parenting, and the huge learning curve (or more like a roller coaster) that my kids take me on, I know that my bliss is in feeling into that energy within me and allowing it to express itself outwardly.
In all of that, I have let go of this idea of “the thing I need to do”, other than keep that ember alive. That was my moment of realization. I have no expectations of what the future holds, no goals other than to keep fanning the flame, which means I have to keep myself in a space to receive the wisdom that flows so easily when I tap in.
I had actually forgotten the struggle, the questions about who I was born to be and what I should now be doing with my life. Instead I’m in a place where it’s just unfolding, and it feels kind of nice.
My friend recognizes the paradox she is living, unable to switch her thoughts away from the next bill due, these thoughts about “not enough money” being reinforced over and over are the very thing holding at bay the best version of her life.
She knows that to release her struggle she needs to distract herself from these thoughts. Her best inspiration right now is to go and get a simpler job, one away from the corporate demands, one where she can leave her thoughts about work at work, but make enough to pay the bills – with a steadier, more reliable income.
Whatever you need to do to release the struggle, do it. You need to open up a space into which you can step forwards.
As I drove along today looking straight at the lush green hills I have often walked in the evening with some other mums from the school, set against a beautiful blue sky, I thought about how draining most corporate environments can be, I can understand my friend’s desire to do something that is more ‘out in the world‘ rather than in an office. I thought about how nature nourishes something in you that manmade things cannot.
Then I looked at those green hills again, and I realised it’s that something that is within us that created all of nature with its amazing rich and fertile energy. There are the manmade structures that are created by the life denoted by a body and a heartbeat, but then there are the majestic wonders all around us created by that life force that flows through us and beyond that body and heartbeat.
It’s that energy that we feel into, or essence, that guides us to our best life. It’s intangible, yet palpable.
A while back, a mentor of mine (who is very adept at reading energy) cryptically told me “there’s more if you want it”. Well, as one my daughter’s school friends got dropped off for a play date the other day, so her dad (who is a screen writer) could meet a deadline, I thought “do I want more?” – I couldn’t imagine adding deadlines for writing to the mix of everything else going on in school holidays. Then I realised I was creating a form to that “more” my mentor had alluded to.
Really, what would light my fire is simply more opportunity to do just that. More opportunity to fan the flames of the bliss I’ve found in becoming a vessel for writing to spill through. In fact, writing is too narrow, that is what happens when I pick at a thread, a question I have that pops up in day to day living. These days, it’s more often now just words that come in response to other people asking questions.
Either way, being a vessel for that energy is exquisite!
Then, last night, I had a dream where I was being called forwards to a stage to receive something. As I stepped forward, things got in my way, but I kept my eye focused on the stage and kept going in the right direction. It’s a metaphor of course for maintaining a broader perspective.
If you responded to the title of the article, you know you are being called to something beyond that which you are being and doing right now. Your job is not to figure out what that is; your job is to get in a place where you can receive it. That ‘it’ is sure to be a heart’s desire, whether in a form you anticipate (unlikely) or not (most likely).
So if you are being called to step forwards, figure out what you need to release in order to receive, and you will see your best life unfold.
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